Feels like a fren frm a dream....

Today i met good ol fren of mine... e one who seems like a fren frm a dream... why? becos hes extremely unique... becos he does things no one does.. i wld say even more unique than joash... really like a fren frm a dream... why?cos all e while hes been telling me stuff so surreal tt it is so hard to believe even a hint of it is true... but after meeting him today.. after almost one and a half years.. tells me tt dreams dun exist in tis world.. though i wld say i was worried of being conned.. :-p sorry bro...

juz how diff u ask?
1... he earns more money than my family...
2.. he works for an org at his age tt u wld tink hes lying if he told u..
3.. he dares to do things so differently.. yet never finds it different... he juz does it his way...
4... cos he treated me to swensens today.. i shnt say how much... but its alot.. :-p

unvelievable rite? :-p

so e proof tt it wasnt a dream... is e 2 swensens voucher i hav tt he gave me.. he almost bought me a gift tt i wld feel so bad if he really did bought it for me... so tks alot bro.. its nice meeting u after so long... =)

random thought abt something else: u noe.. i soon realize tt... its not even e knowledge of it tt im yearning... it only can psycho myself to be momentarily happy... but tts not what i yearn.. though... its great to assume things tis way... oh well...

i m momentarily happy at e moment... high frm swensens.. :-p

oh.. juz as im typing.. my great bro typed an sms on how much he appreciates me spending time with him.. i was like... he treated me to dinner... and he thanked me... oh make me feel so bad.. :-p... but am soo happy... made a fren happy... =)

sian.. i am still not working hard enuf... spa was bad.. maths test was horrible... have to wrk even more harder.. and passing block test still seems distant... hol will be burned... for mugging... but well... cant wait for yfs... =)

mugging society.. :-p

yea.. shld be really happy and satisfied... hopefully it'll maintain tis way... bits by bits.. =) :->

swensens anyone? =) :->

reply to tags:
cheryl: ya... too much is a waste of time... but if not... i think it is a time im willing to spend over certain other things... :-p im spending too much time recently.. yes i dun mind picking it up someday... but maybe ill prefer to do spanish too... :-p oh but ive too many things i wanna pick up and wanna do after A lvls though... :-p

rui: well.. i can treat e vouchers... :-p i hav 2... so for 20 dolllars spent.. we only need to pay 8... can share e cos lah... anyone wanna go? ill see 1st bah... when and whatever,,, :-p

post 150 says...

aarrgghh... spa and maths test on wed... die die... :-p

sometimes... i noe... i cant be easily satisfied... i shld be though... =)

i dun wan to waste time to blog... juz wanna say... i m wasting my youth away.... not too much youth left in me... gotta make use of my time... to do things tt i really want to... and tt is serving God through e yf... and... make sure i get to uni at e same time...

and always try to perk myself up by smiling and laughing.. helps alot... dun wanna let myself be down anymore...

actually ya... i shld be happy... :-p

time to get back to doing my responsibilities...

so back to studying...

before i could climb back up.. i fell again...

why is it always like tt... tt i get sun blues... :-p esp close to nite.. juz tt today started in e afternoon... got headache.. guess cos never sleep enuf past 2 nites plus kimchi.. :-(
headache= bad mood

juz tt i was quite and headache so try not to talk... after awhile started talking again so suppressed it...

why does it fluctuate???!!! hate it...

thought weekends has answers... however it seems to give me more qns...

hate it when my dominant self took over juz to get things over and done with... ignoring e process..

hate it when ppl do not think and feel like me...

dun gossip bro... got stuff tell me lah.. grr...

why am i blogging man..

though i recently juz reviewed why i blog... am juz questioning why i blog...

so much...

me and hens are back to great frens.. :-p feels great to be arnd him again cos we hav quite abit of common interests... yea we got same jacket.. cos jodi bought me one... and now i hav a new adidasa jacket.. :-p

hopefully my sis can let go now... and ya.. adrian and sean teng adds to e list of ppl who noe... but didnt say much actually...

didnt get to say stuff i wanted to say to a few ppl.. didnt hav e chance...

u still want to hear nxt week? or u forget le?

it gets on my nerves when i cant say things i wanted to say.. haiz..

maybe i dun notice myself myself enuf...

maybe it will all happen like the classic.. i see some parallel.. i wonder if e future will be e same as the movie???

starting to not like weekends much...

its all a waste of my time...

bugged by thoughts... all e time i sleep.. and everytime want to slp.. cos i m bugged by thoughts... and everytime when i slp... slp halfway thru my thoughts... so it continues to bug me... again... yet... the thoughts cannot be answered...

i noe abt tt.. but what abt me?

trying to get my interest in God's word back up...

i want to plan a youth worship worship session!!! haha...

haiz... better not blog anymore... no point... really... its been too much....

no point...


no point..

The Lifeline

I always slide down the hill,
I always wanna let go and fall.
But You always throw me the rope at the last moment,
And revived my hope.
"Get back up here Nicholas", You tell me to do.
Again...
"Why always when I'm about to give up",I asked.
"When I've chosen the wrong path, and deserve to fall?"
"Cause its only then that you'll learn."
"To never give up."

"Do not forget."
"I'll always be there to give you strength and support."
"Always."
"Always."
"As I've commanded,"
"Rely not on yourself, but on Me."

thoughts of when i went downhill again tis week, God juz used ppl to do tt little things, tt gave me encouragement once again today.

ive got lots to say abt past 2 days specifically, no time to say now. Maybe can give juz a teaser. :-p

Actually im glad they didnt take my idea. And im glad she was e one who said it. Cos shes e one who wants tt relief. =)

Tks alot. =)

To give myself the benefit of a doubt(seriously), i hope God's not playing a prank, though i know its for my own good. :-p

I love the song in the mv. Cos the song has a diff meaning to me since i watched the movie. Have i ever mentioned that some songs remind me of ppl? Cos i love music maybe, thus i naturally link ppl to it.. :-p

oh i read funny modifications on e lyrics on e mv on my blog. Enjoy!!! =)

This song is actually about Korean food and is sung in modern Korean-English or "Konglish". Hope this helps, peace:

Gnawing a nan (nan bread)
Had a yon bowl o' char und...
ham pyon (ham bone) ate all und all
chewing tang all
So, chewing it all
Her poodle none na? ya?, you legal cam on?
Hoo oo hey oh geez
green chowder, naw not chewin' good.

=)

ppl.. if u read tis... BY ANY MEANS NECCESARY!!! go and watch tis korean movie called "The Classic"... because the storyline is so wonderful... i juz felt soooo emotional... touched.. hurt.. yada yada... ok is super gd... plus i gd trick e whole time... after e show... i was like.. i was so blur... most ppl shld hav realized... well.. tts not e most touching part of e show.. or at least i wasnt thinking clearly.. anyway... tt show is wonderful... if u wan.. i dun even mind buying e dvd just tt u can watch it... im serious.. its soooo gd... but watch when got atmosphere.. like tis kinda time.. when theres no one disturbing... aargghh.. at e start of e show.. i was thinking im starting to like tis kinda movies... and e korean lang.. i purposely changed e sound to korean rather than chinese and read e subtitles but listen to em speak..... cool stuff... lol.. eveyone who watched it tinks so... juz go youtube and see ppls comments.. lol... tis is e mv.. called " i to you, you to me"

너가 너의 눈을 감고, 그것이 너에게 미소를 가져오면, 그때 너가 사랑하는 소년, 사랑을 너 너무 의미한다

너를 좋아하기외에, 나는 다른것을 모른다.

to end tis whole down saga... yea im fine... alive and kicking... lol... last nite before i cld slp at e wee hrs after studying... could not stop smiling.. i guess cos my brain has too much happy juice tts why... so yea happy thoughts lead to a not so bad trip to sch again.. maybe cos im starting to enjoy mugging... yea rite... lol...

and it lead me to more realizations... life is really a great lesson learnt.. when u start realizing.. nothing is for certain.. Everything.. is in Gods hands.. everything is in His plan... only He knows... and many others.. like how i cld choose to think of things these way and really make me feel tt way... and on another... i can replicate it.. its juz whether i want to... :-p

it feels gd to be happy again... i wish i am always as happy as i was.. why only when im falling aslp... lol... well.. at least its a gd nites slp... :-p

actually... i pity her... really... really... so sad...

i wonder if u realize it... tt it has changed... not u lah... e other one.. haha.. nvm... too bad i dun tink ull ever read again...

oh i forgot to post something earlier...

i prob noe im under close scrutinity by.. certain ppl... but oh well...

tis is e world.. a dog eat dog world...

its a choice whether u want to fight for it or not... :-p

my fren.. its ur choice...

ok tts to end e so many posts of e week... been blogging too much... maybe tts it for e week...

i noe i post tis song lyrics many times... but well.. cos i juz hear it and i love e meaningful lyrics.. so yea.. now ill put e song also.. :-p

reply to tags:

jo: u consider rui a gal? haha... :-p lol.. must say until like tt... lol... why must say until i look down on u like tt... lol...

joel- tks alot bro... will look u up.. we havent meet up and hav a chat for a long time rite... got any prob can look me up to ask and chat.. =) haha.. u noe ure e 1st one i told abt my bro thing.. haha.. :-p

The Measure Of a Man, by 4Him

This world can analize and size you up and throw you on the scales
They can I.Q. you and run you through
Their rigorous details
They can do their best to rate you
And they'll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there's more to what you're worth
Than their human eyes can see

Chorus:
Oh, I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man

Well, you can doubt your worth
And search for who you are
And where you stand
But God made you in His image
When He formed you in His hands
And He looks at you with mercy
And He sees you through His love
You're His child and that will always be enough
For there's more to what you're worth
Than you could ever comprehend

Oh I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man

Bridge:
You can spend your life persuing physical perfection
There is so much more
More than ever meets the eye
For God looks through the surface
And He defines your worth by what is on the inside


I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
Oh, I say the measure of
The measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand,
How wealthy or intelligent you are
Oh, I've found the measure of a man
God knows and understands it
For He looks to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
Yeah, what's in the heart defines
Yeah, what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
I know, I know

Blessed Birthday Cheryl!!!

though i doubt ull read tis anyway... nvm.. at least its e thought tt counts rite... :-p


reply to tags:
jo- i dun noe how u noe.. though i can guess and all.. but no point guessing.. anyway we didnt go.. :-p and no it doesnt require much planning juz ask... no one wanna go den nvm lor.. lol..

i woke up... wanting to start doing.... i look at e clock... it reads... 6.30pm.... i was like..
WHAT!!!!!

I dun noe what ive been doing e past 48hrs.. or close... i dun remember doing anything sig.. except plasying ps and sleeping... everyday i woke up arnd 12 without fail. everyday i slp in e afternoon without fail... and now i look at e amt of hw i gotta complete... i was like... crazy.. what hav i been doing.... den i spent e next 10min stopping my whole world frm crashing down on me... like i did e past 2 days... and i ended up trying to control anger and stuff... luckily for me.. i managed to control it before it went haywire... anger juz got to me so bad u could not imagine what i wanted to do...

but do u noe how sucky e feeling is tt u hav hrs of hw u need to complete in a few hrs... siao... grr...


so.. before it becomes another vicious cycle... better go get started... i really wished i was able to find someone to do work with... i cld not find one tis afternoon.. den ended up slping again... i need someone to push me i guess...

i want to talk to ppl... i was hoping i was able to.. cos tt is what motivates me alot too... but haiz.. no it did not happen.. and all i cld find tt help is go to slp...

haiya.. no matter what i say u cannot really understand anyway... or i cannot fully explain... so... enuf...

u noe.. i dun noe why... but i feel better after writing in these figurative language.. though i do not study lit... i jus suddenly wanted to write tis way.. If u could understand what im writing.. gd.. but for ur info.. as ive said... i dun study lit.. so it might not be what u can infer typically... hahaha... :-p

and yes im in a huge slump... trying to get out of it... NOW!!!!

Unconditional love, never fails to perk me up.. yay i got e song.. :-p

The Mouse That Believed That The World Was Square

The Mouse That Believed That The World Was Square
The mouse, being a not so intelligent creature,
Believed that the world was square.
He had many evidences to justify his belief,
But he knows that everyone else thinks otherwise.

Though they do not correct him, he himself knows that,
The world should be round.
However, he still holds onto this belief very strongly,
Despite many glaring evidences that proves him wrong.

He traveled across the world, in search of the end he was looking for.
He ran and ran, in search of the answer he is seeking.
Despite coming back to square one, he continued searching,
Stubbornly believing that he was the one running in a circle.

He knows that the people are laughing at him,
But he ignored.
He knows that the evidences are mocking him,
But he ignored.

He knows that he had ever been deceived,
That the world might even be triangular.
He knows, he knows,
But still he ignored.

In the past 24 days or more, he faced many obstacles.
Not testing his resolve, but threatened everything else.
He began to lose faith, he began to lose hope.
and virtually self-destructed once the last evidence was presented against him.

He felt lost and lonely, because no one shared his belief.
Then, he thought of one who might know the answer,
And he asked, "God, is the world square?"
He is still waiting eagerly, for His reply.

Maybe, just maybe,
The world might be able to give him an answer. =)

down down down very down... :-( lost my resolve to study and do things again... juz wanna sloth and runaway... maybe ill be like what proverbs 12:24 describes... should hav left hse early... den in e end never leave hse and sleep again....

i prob noe why ure irritated... if u noe im talking to u... try not to... e best thing u can do is try to ignore bah...

haiz..

haiz..

haiz...

something to perk me up... uploaded valentine day photos... look it up... :-p

Congratulations Noi Nah!!!

From,
Jaeb


haiz... tis is exactly e reason why i dun like to watch love stories.... cos once i get emotionally involved in e show it bothers me for e whole day.... watched a sad thai movie called wo de chu lian qing ren... real gd... but haiz...

hate times at home.. or really i dun like hols... cos of these combinations... woke up late+ at home+ raining+ bad things happen= wasted day... tsk... what chinese new year... yes got go grandma's hse... and yes only one other family there again... same as sat nite juz tt its a diff family... oh well but i enjoyed sat cos i purposely sat there at dinner table watching e others eat finish.. not doing much chit chatting abit... not watching tv... environment very peaceful etc... feels heart warming i guess...

u noe it really bothers me how so many things is beyond our control... things always dun happen e way we want it to be...

i juz.. i... i...

dwelling in my thoughts.. caught in my thoughts... cant get out.. ok im leaving hse... lol... go out and study...

i dun want tt to happen...

not in gd state again..

things unsaid is nt things tt dun mean anything.. they may mean alot...

these 7 ppl...

frozen times...

BLESSED CHINESE NEW YEAR PPL!!!

i should be very happy... but for some reason... i aint... maybe cos i ask too much...

i am really crazy these days.. slept again when i slept 10hrs last nite.. lol... and when i sleep e past week.. i fall aslp in 5 min... woah...

i am really too simple minded.. :-p

hope u like it... =)

i dun noe why today i got soo caught up with doing alot of things today in church.. make me forget to do stuff i wanted to do...

not much visitation to do tis year... explains for me staying at home e whole day.. but i am going out soon le lah... Grandma disappeared again... but luckily mum said she is at her home now.. but she is afraid where she will go tmr again...(yes my grandma has mental prob if u dun remember me saying..)

i hav a complicated family life.. i wouldnt say its e most complicated... but it is...

one of my deepest and darkest secrets... i havc always been reluctant to tell anyone.... really nobody...

I hav a brother... :-p if u wanna noe why... ask me.. cos i dun wanna say it here... i dun wanna declare at least... dun wrry im trying to not keep it anymore... and i dun wan to... so pls ask me... :-p oh.. and i wld bother to explain how complicated my family is if u wld also ask.. :-p

no its a random thought not e reason ive been tired or what.. i juz felt i shldnt keep it anymore..

love is such a powerful thing... out of love God sent Jesus... it changed lives.. yet humans with their "love" can change their own lives... but i feel tt... we'll all soon realize... its not love without God in it... dont u agree???

I used to live in an environment which taught me tt theres no "happily ever after" without christ..

God has been great tis year... i am still counting e many blessings he hav gave me.. esp key ones i wont forget... and i am juz reminding myself constantly... not to forgot tt all these things come frm God... tt all these things happened cos God wants it and allowed it... e many lessons tt ive learnt and may learn... tts why i always question myself on e motives of my thoughts and e things im doing... is God in e picture?

Testing my resolve...

though e future is ambiguous.. God is never changing... and i can look to Him always... and im grateful knwing tt... =)

looking forward always... =)

and yes.. i love kids... they are really great blessings to me... haha.. miss my cousins when they were younger... at least theres Titus!!! still cute as ever.. =) a guy cousin called titus.. cool name rite.. :-p oh oh... i saw shem on sat at e pasir ris mrt while waiting for rui... haven seen charlotte for awhile... :-p love those kids who gave donations.. at least they gave a cheerful/ innocent look... :-p

all i wanna do... is juz slack... the past few days... ive been sooo sooo tired.... dunno why... *sigh* i wanna sleep... den wake up wanna use com awhile.... lol.. ive not done my hw for a long time... make tt 4 WHOLE DAYS!!!! everyday come home is like juz feel like i wanna slp... im very very tired recently... realy lazy lazy to do anything other than use com and blog... nowadays i mainly use com to blog... :-p i mean its like... 30++ posts in a month... am i mad or what.. lol... really gotta cut down...

maybe i dun see things e way i shld...


fed up....

cant decide...

i thought its alrite.... but den i suddenly realize.. its weird.. lol... it might not be.. what i want..

but well... its short-lived... =) dunno lah its a mess...

i always ask myself... question myself... but well... as i thought..

i m juz... oh well...

haha.. nt too surprised abt what he said.. juz surprised why he suddenly tell me... :-p

the answer ive been looking for... i always thought ya... its like tt for me... but i keep getting closer answers to it.. but never really think it is still e answer i want.. but i tink im finally sure of it... tt tt is e answer.. and i understand myself abit better again... :-p

temporarily can use com for a while cos got temp monitor... lolz...

going to get cracking... bye...

lalala~

its not a lala for joy but one tt isnt very happy tt things has still not change... tt im still getting tt... its too much to slack for 4 days in a row for jc... i noe tt... so sian... gotta get back to working again...

Happy Valentine's/Friendship Day

HAPPY VALENTINE/FRIENDSHIP DAY PPL!!!!

Came to sch today juz like any other day... thank God i caught the bus while helped me not to be late... but never knew what was in store in sch....

everyone was like restless in sch... never knew there was so much hoohaa for valentine's days.. maybe cos i was in a boys sch for 4 yrs and juz happen last year like nothin much.. tis year everyone was like restless and all lor... lol... plus angel and mortal.... today is e revealing... tts why... i got a few gifts frm ppl... though i didnt expect it... i got a flower too... :-p my very nice fren bought for whole class lah... spend so much money though i noe hes nt rich... den was so touched by what he wrote... lol.. den my fren frm another jc still remember to give me a gift.. so nice... juz wanna say tks to all those frens who gave me gifts.. tks alot and i feel very blessed by it.. =) if i cld post e photos soon den ill put bah... =)

hope tt thing brightens ur day!!! =)

ok forgot what else... only remember im very lethargic e past few days... want to ponder also cannot... :-p haha... till nxt time...

All my presents...



My big nicely bloomed flower i got frm my fren... mine so big and nice lor.. i got 1 fren very sway got 1 tt is dead or something... lol...

u noe.. i hav a classmate.. and a nice fren who i dun really noe well... go arnd giving ppl they noe valentine gifts with a message... and of course... its a message to make ppl think salvation... they're church ask em to do one prob... u all prob can see... so ill type it out...

"This year, VAlentine's Day is not all about receiving gifts from our loved ones but it is getting to know a love that is everlasting. A love that comes from someone who loves you for who you are and not because of who you will become or want to become. And that love comes from Him"

cool rite? =)

A message frm my fren frm another jc who asked her twin sister to pass to me.. so cool remembered to give me a gift.. :-p

After 1 day... see i take care of it very well rite? lol...


a fake rubber flower weiqiang found and i put it thru yvonne low's hair... :-p

abit diff.../ I wrote abt u?

Perhaps...

whats with everyone's perhaps huh? lol...

to me theres too many perhaps to write abt... and im trying not to think of any of them.. cos perhaps are what if thoughts.. and ive learned tt what if thoughts are not glorifying thoughts.. at least e depressing or self deflating thoughts.. for a high I like me.. it'll come and go... so ill ignoring these thoughts...

perhaps...

actually its a real cool wrd... :-p

haha.. like ive told a few... how interesting it is when we write abt other ppl at times... and they do nt realize... how.. how should i describe.. amusing? how weird itll be if uve been talking abt someone so often on e blog but they never realize... haha... i wonder if anyone has ever written abt me cos i never realized.. at least i dun remember... i also wonder if anyone ever knew tt i was talking to/referring to them? haha... i have refered to many many ppl on my blog and never mentioned their name... so... if ure reading tis.. u prob did at some point in my blog... haha... tts what i can tell u... :-p

i tink im accelerating it too fast... slowly still got alot of time... =)

things are becoming more and more apparent to me... at least a few things... or alot of things on diff things... juz feel apparent...

been feeling abit diff e past few days... dunno why... maybe cos... possible...

possible...

no its not e past 2 weeks its e past few days.. lol....

i thought it was tis way.. but it was another... dunno shld be happy or not.. but definitely nothing to be sad abt lah...

i hav a feeling my sis will be like me... e bad side... nt gd...

i juz realized tt i was always like tt since a long time ago... fluctuating between high and low.. it juz become more apparent as i "mature" i guess...

would hav given to u if i cld...

juz in case i could not say tis tmr...

HAVE A BLESSED VALENTINE/FRIENDSHIP DAY PPL!!!!

though it doesnt hav too much sig to me... :-p

i tink reminding myself of e bad side of me and e bad side of him helps me to be focused on nt repeating it...

sch is a drag... so is cca increasingly nowadays.. but guess what... it may feel very dampening at times but ive learnt how to not let it affect me and juz do it... :-p

abit diff... i am... nt i tink.. but i feel... :-p

I Do not need to remisnicence, cos ive never forgotten..

im probably naive... cos the whole world is telling me e same thing...

haha.. how dum...

u now.. though i hav been always very narrow minded abt these things... Ben sorta shot many thru my minds tt what i tink is actually too narrow minded... I was too in my world... haha... ots i tink im gonna do which i hav never done before.. lotsof new perspective im going to look at things... i juz feel tt its sooner or later ill see it... and its great its now... i hope i can see thru more things beyond my narrow point of view... haha.. dun noe how to describe... but its juz e past few days alot of things tt i thought i made simple was naive thinkoings... i always thought its juz not me to do certain things in a certain way... i guess tt is changing... gd i tink...

ive never lasted e test of time... will i?

what 2 weeks? what talking u?

" i do not need to reminiscence, cause ive never forgotten.."

tis quote is frm a serial i happen to watch... interesting i feel... :-p yes for things tt ive never forgotten.. i do not need... but juz for e past week think... i happen to feel tt im reminiscing the past... before i even heard tis quote.. so qiao rite... lets see what ive reminiscenced tis week...

the old friendship i hav with em... though refreshing... im not wanting...

i guess its becos of e quality time ppl give me.... tts why i tink i misunderstood.. cos they started it 1st...

ii seriously was reminded of how close we are before.. when we suddenly talked abit again... abt how much i noe abt u... but i guess at some point it stopped.. and it was downhill frm there...

in e past i always had tt anticipation of u boarding tt bus... cos u told me took tt bus to sch when u did... but never once did we meet.. how interesting when i realized how long ago tt was.. aha...

tis one also... i realized how we juz stopped having much contact... and esp after tt incident.. so interesting how i look back at it now...

i dun noe... why do i kept looking back these few days... well.. maybe i guess cos im finally moving forward again... :-p after so many years...

im prob not stressing myself enuf.. abit stress only den woah very stress den put em all down.. how dum... must stress myself more.. :-p positive stress...

refrained frm bloggin e past weekk.. no lah cos nothin much to say and nt much time...

im starting to feel tt i hav weird friendships with frens.. so weird talkin...

never ending things to talk...

ill never forgett.... tt.. for now...

ok.. i knew i wld forget some stuff.. but nvm... tts all for now...

i hav a new fav song.. u noe my fren started sining tis song in class.. den i realized i hav tis song and its very nice.. and e more i listen to it.. i start to like it more and more... i like e way e singer shouts the chorus feels very shiok.. haha... lyrics are very.. cool too... :-p i listen to tis song over and over again... like 3-4 times a day...

but nothing ever lasts for me...

hopefully tis does...

You And I Both
By Jason Mraz

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love, the love that I love.

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive

You and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just dream of
And if you could see me now
Well I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally deedeedeedee
Well I'm almost finally, finally
Well I'm free, oh, I'm free

And it's okay if you have go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm almost finally out of.
I'm finally out of, finally, deedeeededede
well I'm almost finally, finally, finally out of words.

ouch.. i got headache again.. hate it... den some more super stressed.. grr.. zzz... tmr still wed... only halfway thru e weekdays.. :-p sch is bad... plus always feel headaches... when im tired and have headaches... thoughts.. some self- deflating.. some bothering... keeps coming... zzz.. wait for me to do my work finish 1st can... zzz.. headaches...

still young.. i guess..

juz want quality time...

hav an interesting thing tt might brighten up her day.. though shhe'll scold me after tt... :-p

havent thought of anything yet... might wanna do soon..


haha.. guess what?? i guessed rite.. :-p lets see whether my details were rite...

i wish i cld be optimistic... but todays WAKE UP CALL or so i call it... is not encouraging... den realized tt i hav some test tmr!!! come sch early for "correction work order"..... or so they call it.. re test juz say retest ah... alamst laak.. .zzz..

i prob think more than him even...

i think too much...

headache.. aarrgghh.. again...

im an ESFP by a test in sch...

haha... 88% make decisions by feeling... no wonder i cant think without getting affected by my emotions... lol...

woah.. tis week super stress... i want to relieve stress...

if only...

wake up call...

rang thru my head at 1pm...

but i m juz..

zzz..

i juz realized tt all my botheredness is actually a piece of headache... lol.. but well.. i kinda lost my motivation to study tis week.. bleah... though im still bothered....

stop throwing smoke bomb.. i noe lah...

my soulmates... =) i hav 2 kinda frens.. soulmates and playmates.... has been talking abt bernard being my soulmate... :-p

dun pretend...

too bad i chose tis path... lets see what hppens...

my sis's fav song.. heard tis today and i always kinda liked it so juz thought of putting it up... :-p

Hero
Written by Enrique Iglesias/Paul Barry/Mark Taylor

Would you dance if I asked you to dance
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
And would you save my soul tonight

Would you tremble if I touched your lips
Would you laugh
Please tell me this
Now would you die for the one you loved
Hold me in your arms tonight

I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

Would you swear that you'll always be mine
Would you lie
Would you run away
Am I in too deep
Have I lost my mind
I don't care, you're here tonight

I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

I just want to hold you
I just want to hold you
Am I in too deep
Have I lost my mind
Well I don't care
You're here tonight

I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

And I can be your hero
I can kiss away the pain
And I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
You can take my breath away

And I can be your hero

bothered by the bothered...

!@#$#@%##@$^%$#&$%^&%^$##*%#&#^#%#@$^#@^$$%#$%@$#%@^@$#%@#&@#

Feeling very very crappy now... sick and bothered and irritated mind... wonder what i always want to blog abt.. i noe i shldnt be bloggin rite now but got a few things bothering me den i want to fa xie frm e past few days...

a few things bothering me tis week...
1) Noe it???
2) hoping it does not bother.............
3) i think i felt tt someone is bothered.. make tt 2... on diff things...
4)sick again.. i want to do hw also feel like crap... aaarrrgghghh...
4)didnt get my weekly dose... aarrghh...
5)what are ppl talking abt??
6)i m not in self denial..
7)what happenned?
8)i never admitted it..
9)why did u keep doing tt?
10) i accidentally distanced myself..
11)bothered tt ppl are bothered..
12) sch aaargghh..
13)hw aaarrgghh...
14)my dreams are always on ppl who are important to me... maybe tt shows tt u hav no significance to me anymore... e dream is juz like it is.. dark and gloomy... everyone sad and sian.. den u ask me to do something for u. which i prob always hoped u wld ask.. cos its becos of tt tt i feel happy and close to u in e past... i wished... and seeing u e nxt day.. i hoped tt dream did come thru... i wld really really be very happy... 168... if u asked me to... so qiao i was talking to a fren abt having tt no den so qiao shld go do 4d lol...
15)feel like crap crap crap...
16)bothered bothered bothered...
17)why?
18)why??
19)why???
20)yea i want to talk to u... to both of u... to both of u who are bothered... or at least i felt u were... though u dun seem like after tt..

dun noe how to describe my botheredness.. pretend to be high to hide e pain and low and mess and irritation and bother...

i prob hav no significance tt i wanted...

significance.. another word to bother me...

aarrgghh.. so many things are trying to bother me and make me feel pain...

stupid fren...

5 ppl lol...

wish to tell u... maybe shldnt...

*picks up hammer and tries to whack my own head clear*... *grrrr*

!@#%$!#@%$$#&^(%*$&@##***&^^##@^$#

get outta my head...

hmph ok done...

u noe.. i wanted to say how happy and high i was today... e whole day.. or virtually till nite.. when 2 ppl hav to spoil it... sian... haha.. i wanted even to say tis when i was high tt.. sometimes id ratheer i dun get high or low... maybe not having fluctuating moments is better.. cos i cant realli do things anymore once i feel low... irritating...

lol... i didnt even noe alicia sorta left church.. talked to her abit and ya.. well.. wanted to help her abit also felt i cld not or rather... rather not.. i dun noe...

crap never call him again... dun tink i will call him le.. haiz..

didnt study much again.. spent quite a few hrs but didnt do much...

i cant stand but to see e so many ppl hav passed by my life... met alot of these ppl tonite when i start feeling low...
there was alicia(sortof).. den comes leon .. den jeremy kong.. both frm sch... den i met 2 of my old frens on e bus... lewis who was frm vs now in vj.. and matthew.. whom i was quite close with during e hols 2 years ago.. den slowly faded away after tt... hes in army now... even saw my ex hairdresser on e bus whom i went for quite a few times but stopped going there cos sortof had prob with e shop...(i juz remembered actually.. was wondering she looked very familiar.. thought she was a celebrity... lol...) haha.. tts how many... 6 ppl.. in tt short space of 10 15 min...
i appreciate every relationship i hav with em... but i wonder how many more i wld hav tis touch and go relationship... and to see em leave me and nt hav contact with em.. though actually 3 of em i dun rewalli noe em.. haha...

im ok.. emo thoughts.. very interesting actually... ppl who walked in my life... missed hens lots.. playin with him and stuff.. though i dun realli miss tis playin of sports so much anymore... i guess i see greater joy in doing other stuffs now... unlike e pass where i wld rather play than hav a gd chat.. nw i guess.. its quite diff...

oh.. wanted to say tis earlier.. was "lectured"(sorta) by my sis last nite.. some things she is more mature than me.. so.. gd... well.. i thought of some stuffs i wld want to do today.. or rather change.. haha.. stuff abt organisation and keeping track... hav to make sure i do it.. its very unme to start doing it.. but i guess growing and being a better servant wld require me to pick tis skills up sooner or later anyway.. so...

i guess it brings me 1 step closer...

like i always felt.. felt encouraged trying to help ppl today again... or at least wanting emowers me.. =)

interesting things to hear abt church tt l sortof always knew but never it wld cos ppl t much probs.. tt makes 2 who left.. will i still be here forever?? i dun noe.. i want to... as long as i live i guess.. but i guess i will follow as God leads.. =) been seeing alot of perspectives recently frm my narrow one... but everthing i hold dear is here so.. no chance.. not anywhere soon... hopefully never.. :-p haha enuf... yea spoke alot out again... gd gd.. =)

sometimes its quite interesting to hav ppl who dun do hw... i cant imagine e situation where almost everone does their hw everytime... but today is interesting.. jonathan was cracking all his super lame jokes and juz how everything happens tt is juz so funny.. and its becos ppl dun do their hw.. yada yada.. so funny... so interesting.. den got extra kia sheldon sitting next to me finished e whole tutorial le.. den again.. we can actually still laugh abt it... so interesting... so fun...

so fun to tell ppl so manyy stuff.. though its so weird cos i never ever did... it feels so gd juz as if it sorta felt it happenned.. but happy enuf to let everything out.. but ya so weird.. haha... :-p

gotta chiong work like siao today. oh.. im in sch lib com btw.. haha... tis weekend seems kinda dull.. but nonetheless.. its e weekends... so... yay.. =)

i dun noe why im constantly feeling e urge to blog these few days... even though i cant really see what am i typing on my spoilt lcd screen... i juz feel like i could communicate with ppl i so wanna chat with.. but could not.. guess i juz wanna chat eith em but i noe they are so busy and so am i.. but i guess i cld spare some time blogging.. or maybe picking up a call if u wld so kindly give me one... den again.. so much for spoilt com cannot use com blah blah blah.. can still post without being able to see.. so there u go.. heres my blog post...

my eyes are better.. had no prob reading anymore... got my test paper backa dn was able to read it.. though my eyes felt veryt strained e whole day... but well.. guess was able to read my big red score and a class postion of last in class staring rite at my face.. AGAIN!!! at least tis time i can tell teacher say cant read e ques.. yes i really had probs doing so.. but well... i wonder how many excuses i can give myself for constantly doing badly for tests... had maths test today which was supposed to be yest but i didnt come.. well i didnt expect tfor e test to be today... but well.. guess it doesnt make much of a diff i guess.. destined fail with flying colours again.. prob last again.. lol... everyone say its super hard.. well.. but i guess for me ill still be last of tis super hard test huh...

im super sstressed.. last nite a thought striked my mind until i kept thinking abt it.. den got frustrated.. headache.. came along.. and gg... went to sch with headache today again... nothin seems to perk me up on weekdays recently.. well.. doing badl for tests is bad.. feeling lost is worst... STUDIES? GOTTA WORK EXTRA HARD THAN I AM NOW AGAIN.. ZZ... GUESS A 3 DAY LAYOFF MAKES THINGS WORSE... OH WELL... BUT IM INTERESTED IN EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR SCH WORK...

TODAY COMPASS LESSON(SOMETHING ILL BOTHER EXPLAINING ONLY IF U ASK ME COS ITS TOO COMPLICATED) WAS COOL COS I CHOSE A LEADERS LESSON.. HAD NOT MUCH CHOICE.. SO CHOSE IT THOUGH I THOUHGT I KNEW WHAT IS GOING TO BE TAUGHT.. AND YES.. ITS AS I HAV THOUGHT.. BUT WELL.. I CHATTED WITH E TEACHER AFTER E CLASS.. AYDA YADA.. DEN SHE LENT ME A BOOK CALLED LEADERSHIP THE CHALLENGE BY BY kOUZES bOSNER.. .. YES ITS A TEST I DID SOME READING UP ONLINE BEFORE AND POSTED ON MY BLOG... AND E THING IS I SORTA MADE FRENS WITH A TEACHER.. LOL.. hod.. LOL.. SHE LENT ME TT BOOK.. LET U ALL READ WHEN I CAN.. I ALWAYS AM INTERESTED IN THINGS LIKE THESE.. HAHA.. GUESSTHESE ARE E ONLY BOOKS TT INTEREST ME... OK TIME FOR RANDOM THOUGHTS...

I GUESS URE RITE.. HE MADE IT OBVIOUS...

I DIDNT REALIZE WHAT TT MEANS UNTIL I ACTUALLY REALIZED ITS TRUE..

FRUSTRATED ABT THINKING.. THOUGH I INITIALLY WANTED TO THINK ABT IT SO MCH.. BUT SOON REALIZED ITS A SOURCE F MY FRUSTRATIONS...

HOPING WHAT I T ITS TRUE.. HOPING WHAT I THINK IS NOT TRUE...

BEEN THINKING TOO MUICH LATEKY.. TOO FREE AT HOME AND SLEEPING TOO MUCH.. ZZ...

THINKING IS MAKING ME FRUSTRATED.. GO AND DO...

WAIT.. YA I NOE...

a VLLS.. GAH... WONDER WHY THEY CALL IT A LVLS WHEN PL ALWAYS FAIL IT ANYWay.. shld be called f lvls..

i guess ill be a better playing a female role in a relationship..cos im nt strong and steady and hav " mood swings" and guess i hav alot of female traits.. no offense to females and im nt saying guys are better.. juz hav tis feeling tt im very... dun noe.. reliant on others.. well.. like i always said.. ppl encourage me more than i could i cld encourage myself...

i feel distnat with ppl again.. everyone.. i juz feel distant.. maybe im not.. i juz feel tis way..

wonder hows everyone doing.. everyones been busy and didnt want to disturb em... hope everonyes ok..yea i am.. juz ranting abt stuff.. fa xie u noe... been able to get down to doing more often recently.. but e bad habit of brooding still happens very often... perfectly fine... i juz hpope my studies is not killing me tts all...

den again.. why is a portion in caps!!! sian... dun care lah... enuf ranting.. down to work...