I wonder why somethings just linger in my mind so much and i cant remove them. Now, i must really pray when the thought comes to mind. It has become such a bother. Hai.

Cant find the photo of the image in my head. Always cant. But this is the closest i can find. I dreamt of a fren a few days ago. I think it was tuesday night. Though i would gladly not like to see that person in my dreams again ( i shant say why), but the funny thing is, i imagined the family members to all have the same hairdo! The thought of it is funny, but yet, trying not to be reminded of it.

OK no more. 1st and last. Dont come and disturb me in my dreams again. 1 is difficult enough.

Dont be like the last.

Stumbled.

I dont know how to say this but, i really dont understand. Why am i burdened with something i cannot handle? Why can't other christians around me see the things the same way? I see it in class, i see it everywhere. Sometimes i dont even know whether to call them bro or sis- because our understanding of God is so diff. 


Some treat him like a genie; some treat him as a means of salvation, but do not seek to live as His children;.
Some spend all their time doing things of this world, but do not even spend an hour a day with You. Some love themselves more than You, some  love other ppl more than You.
Some sing praises to you all the time, but they only know how to give their emotions, but not their mind. what is worship? Mindless singing of songs? Going to church every sun/sat?
Some pray to you everyday, but do they even know you? Do they read Your word, which is just as though you are speaking to us? Do they even know what You want in their life? Do they know their purpose? Do they know what you desire in them?
Some dont even pray.


Actually, i am guilty of some of it. But why? why do i need to understand, and not have any support arnd me? Why do i need to understand, and feel dissappointed by all those arnd me? How do i help them understand, that somethings are wrong to do? How can i help them understand, that this is not the right mindsets to have? Help me change Lord, and I pray that you'll send someone, to help me change too. 


Feel so discouraged and stumbled.

disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted
disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusteddisgusted
disgusted disgusted.

ok no more. time to press the reset button again.

Just a closer walk with Thee

I have not been doing things that i need to do abt my faith. Missed church last 2 weeks cause im a little sick. And today got scolded by sis abt my attitude to being late for church. I think i have been a little complacent with my faith that i have not been doing qt, not been doing much purposeful, regular prayer again. Not been doing bs, and reading God's word. I really miss that. I have been influenced to change. To be quick to anger. To conform to ppl and the standards of this world. God, help me to change.

God i wish to be closer to you. And i wish to know more abt you.

Looks like my blog has started becoming my outlet again, after a lack of it recently.

Spilled over sadness

Dislike knowing that ppl are sad, and not be able to do anything abt it. It's like you know it but yet you cant do anything abt it; you shouldnt ask abt it.


I only can, pray abt it.


Spilled over sadness. Innately concern over ppl.



2Cr 1:3-5 NIV - [3] Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, [4] who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. [5] For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

Watching your back

Actually, watching from far is nice. All you need to do is watch from far. Watch the back. Look, be concerned, when you see the need. Just ask arnd, just know whats happening with your life. There you go. Happy already. No need for words, even though i always was a communication person. But i learned that, sometimes, this is enough. :)


Actually high level competition isnt my type of thing. I love competition, its just that, ive never been the kind who will do all means neccesary for it. You know to be champs. I  I guess im the process person, not the result/task oriented person. I enjoy the process. But i guess its a learning process.


I miss fellowship. no frenship beats that i guess.

Hypocrite, motivation, and determination

Somehow, i just have so many regrets, that linger in my mind sometimes. Sometimes I try so hard to pay lip service, trying to encourage ppl abt the God i believe in, but yet in the same conversation, i can say things that will stumble others. Its just so hypocritical of me really. I realise that this will not only not encourage that person, but all the more stumble that person. I dunno. Sometimes i try too hard to encourage, but i must really learn to remain ilent at times.

Heard what i needed to hear from coach to affirm my suspicions. 100% out. The only solace is after coming back on wed after getting over my emotional problems, but well, after watching the videos and stories, i still think im very selfish of myself to think at the indiv level. I know i always lacked determination. I always am fine just playing and not winning. But hopefully, i really understand what it means to do my best for God, and be a testimony. Having the motivation to fight through all the stress and lack of time. Feels alot easier without emotional problems. I just think that, I can do it! :)


Of course, all this strength comes from God and through prayers, and pray that i will continue to rely on him more and more. And pray that, i will learn to listen, and say the right thing at the right time. I always have knowledge, but i lack wisdom. Seriously big time. Need to find more time to do ministry too. :)

Goodbye Apple

Goodbye apple.

its resolved, ive let it all out, i am relieved, really, think i really feel joy within me. i can finally move on. dunno whether ive made someone angry, but i had to let it all out. Not talking for another few weeks or months is ok. Not that it matters anymore! :) 

Last night was such a torturous night. Slept without wanting to wake up. Slept with a pain that is indescribable. Havent felt so much pain since 2 years ago. It was really very painful. Didnt want to wake up cause it hurt so much. Didnt wanna go sch didnt wana go trng. But guess what, after i got up, i decide to do something. And i stopped feeling pain. After saying it, ive really let down all the chains holding me. Finally a needless self inflicted burden could be released. And i guess im happy for that.

So relieved that i ran so much today without panting, until my legs started giving way. haha. Just kept running, just kept playing, just kept trying to enjoy my ultimate. :)

Doesnt seem like we ever had christ in common though.

Thank God its over. Ill learned alot through this period. I need to learn to listen better. Need to learn to rely on God more. Need to watch the thorns in my words. Oooo. I always failed as a listener i guess. I need to learn to control my angel. Need to learn to handle these situations better. Need to learn to move on. But this one problem of moving on is hard. It always has been. I always like to kena trap. Trap sidelines, trapped in a hole so deep known as depression, and now a bubble. HAha.

Its time to be focused on things i need to focus on again. Like God studies frisbee. No more emo days, for now... No more running, and to start walking with Him again.


Thanl God for all your prayers, to my mentor and new found confidant/mentor. Mark i wish you'll join back frisbee. I need a bro here.


Pray for edge games. They have problem finding venue. Be hush abt it. Pray that we might be able to use nyp, or any sch. Pray for His will to be done, pray that it could be used to reach out to ppl, that they may know Christ. Amen.




Jhn 4:31-38 ESV - [31] Meanwhile the disciples were urging him, saying, "Rabbi, eat." [32] But he said to them, "I have food to eat that you do not know about." [33] So the disciples said to one another, "Has anyone brought him something to eat?" [34] Jesus said to them, "My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work. [35] "Do you not say, 'There are yet four months, then comes the harvest'? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. [36] "Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together. [37] "For here the saying holds true, 'One sows and another reaps.' [38] "I sent you to reap that for which you did not labor. Others have labored, and you have entered into their labor."




Act 4:20 NIV - [20] For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard(of what christ has done for us)."

Waste

Waste my time, waste my life, wasted to have you in my sight. Wasted my feelings, wasted my thinking, wasted to even though you had meaning. Shallow's your name, shallow's your game, shallow of me to even considered your name. Happy that this is all over, glad that this will no longer be a bother.

Sometimes i wish i can reverse time and not made the mistakes i made. But as so many has told me, it is time to move on, stop marching on the stop and remove the thought of it totally.


Who gives you identity?
Who gives you security in life?
Who should you rely on 1st?
Who should you speak to 1st?
It should be Jesus.
Am i doing it?
I've been told ive been acting like im insecure during this period. Its time to wake up from the slumber i guess.


As mentor would say, what did i learn from this experience? Did i learn something? God allows everything to happen for a reason. The worse is to go through this experience and to not learn anything from it. Reflect, learn from it, and move on.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpAHNWO0ecs&feature=related

說了再見Say Goodbye

JAY CHOU周杰倫 

天亮了 雨下了 你走了 
清楚了 我愛的 遺失了 
落葉飄在湖面上睡著了 
想要放 放不掉 淚在飄 
你看看 你看看 看不到 
我假裝過去不重要 卻發現自己辦不到 
說了再見 才發現再也見不到 
我不能就這樣失去你的微笑 
口紅待在桌腳 而你我找不到 
若角色對調你說好不好 
說了再見 才發現再也見不到 
能不能就這樣忍著痛淚不掉 
說好陪我到老 永恆往哪裡找 
再次擁抱一分一秒都好 
天亮了 雨下了 你走了 
清楚了 我愛的 遺失了 
落葉飄在湖面上睡著了 
想要放 放不掉 淚在飄 
你看看 你看看 看不到 
我假裝過去不重要 卻發現自己辦不到 
說了再見 才發現再也見不到 
我不能就這樣失去你的微笑 
口紅待在桌腳 而你我找不到 
若角色對調你說好不好 
你的笑 你的好 腦海裡 一直在繞 
我的手 忘不了 你手的溫度 
心碎了一地 撿不回從前的心跳 傷心過去我無力逃跑 
說再見 才發現再也見不到 
能不能就這樣忍著痛淚不掉 
說好陪我到老 永恆往哪裡找 
再次擁抱一分一秒都好

Singapore Protestant Christianity in 'Crisis', Declares Evangelical Pastor

Some excerpts from an email of a sermon. Singapore Protestant Christianity in 'Crisis', Declares Evangelical Pastor Friday, Jul. 9, 2010 Posted: 6:00:13AM HKT 1) "The all-too-familiar evangelical message is that the world is in trouble and churches need help. Singapore pastor Tony Yeo, however, thinks it is the reverse that is true. Many Protestants here lack sincerity in faith, he said Tuesday in a sermon with many points yet one emphasis. The solution the pastor proposed: to live life from the inside out and to embrace the call to radical discipleship in our lives. And it is to go back to the basics, to come back to the Word of the living God." 2)Using the World Cup as an example, the Rev. Yeo noted that many people take pains to catch the early morning telecast of the games. Nonetheless Christians tend to complain when it comes to dawn prayer or early morning service. “It is not an issue of time,” said the youthful pastor. “It is an issue of heart.” 3) Churches could also tend to emphasise participation in their programmes, their range of programmes and size of their facilities to the neglect of real life transformation. 4)  Two role models he mentioned were Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew and well-known late British evangelist Alan Redpath.

When asked what the key to his successful political leadership was, Mr Lee had simply said: sacrifice.

Asked for the secret in life in ministry, Redpath replied, “Bent knees, wet eyes and a broken heart.”


5)The evangelical pastor also corrected misconceptions about the Great Commission of Jesus Christ.

Christians tend to view the Great Commission as focusing on the church and attendance of its activities rather than Christ and resembling the life of love He modelled.

Churches tend to view the Gospel as a message to broadcast rather than a life to live, the pastor told hundreds of music missionaries.

“You and I are the main delivery systems of the Gospel of Jesus Christ,” he said.

There is also a tendency to see the Great Commission as solely the task of pastors, ministry leaders and missionaries.

All Christians, however, are in fulltime service ‘disguised’ as working people and homemakers, Yeo emphasised.

In addition, the Great Commission is primarily a call to make disciples of Jesus Christ, rather than travel to far-off lands or make converts, and of all nations, he highlighted.

Sometimes i want to lose hope in prayer.

Troubled.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

This lyrics is from the hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness. Unfortunately, i cant find the jazz version i have by brian doerksen. I found one from Passion that is pretty close and equally as good! All I have needed Thy hand hath provided; Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! =D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsftrsFyG80

 This short clip by avalon is pretty good too! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I0HOpuOmLU&feature=related

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Refrain

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Refrain

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Refrain 

Talk talk i wanna talk.

Pass It On

It only takes a spark to get a fire going. 
And soon all those around,can warm up in its glowing. 
Thats how it is with God's love, Once you've experienced it, 
You'll spread His love to everyone;

You want to pass it on.

What a wondrous time is spring, when all the trees are budding;
The birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming.
That's how it is with God's love;
Once you've experienced it, you want to sing
"It's fresh like spring"; you want to pass it on.

I wish for you my friend, this happiness that I've found.
You can depend on Him, it matters not where you're bound.
I'll shout it from the mountain top - PRAISE GOD
I want the world to know; the Lord of love has come to me,
I want to pass it on.

I need an Outlet

Just need an outlet again. Just want to talk. But oh well, looks like its talking to God again.

The only other guy in my class, Samuel, is leaving. Now i face 3 girls at home, and another 20 girls in class. Where DID ALL THE GUYS GO TO?

My fren says ive got nu ren ming and im gonna get bullied by wife. Haiz.