:-) :-( :-X =X :{ :[ :-/ =( -.- :> =< :< :'< :'(

lost in emotions...

i realli wonder... what am i in ur eyes? do u even treat me as a fren to say e least...

u do not even show some concern so often....

got pissed with someone today...

i have totally lost it... gg... what am i to do now?

i dunno...

totally ran away.... and ran to a nightmare...

currently living in my worst nightmare.... :'(

yea yea whatever...

tis is actually random but maybe its actually how i feel now...

todae was fun and i wun say i was exactly PRETENDING.... but ya.... great day i guess...

but i guess i dun care... i was kinda ki siao todae... kept making stupid jokes with lip kiam... den mr yong gave me tt stare a few times... ms wong on another few occasions kept giving me tt stare too... well hl was pissed at a point too... but DUN CARE.... tts how i feel.... being abit siao...

u noe juz now on my way hm a stranger call me again.. say i win dunno what trip to thailand ... sentosa blah blah blah... den i was waititng of e opp to say hey.. im below 18... den she gave me tt... "oh... realli ah... in tt case srry u cant redeem e prize..." lol... jokers.. nt e 1st time le.. i tink 3rd time le... sec 3 or 4 also kena before.. lol..

wah lao.. tt wilberd ah.. saw him at bus stop todae.. he ah... dun remember my name... kui wo gen ta da qiou da ne me duo ci... den he live me near my hse went to sch with him a few times before... den dun even remember i call nicholas.... LOL.. at least i got ying xiang hes called wilberd juz suddenly forget lor... baka....

oh saw yong sheng frm 4H todae too.. :-p

never go church last sun.. sortof overslept... 2nd or 3rd time tis year i tink... while last year or hald never happenned before... lol... i juz still feel tt somethings missing everytime i miss it... lol... like part of week is missing...

im missing... (shhh... :-p)

oh i tink i wanna try to come back again... no matter how many times i fall... tis song always never fail to pick me up when im down...

The Measure Of a Man, by 4Him



This world can analize and size you up and throw you on the scales
They can I.Q. you and run you through
Their rigorous details
They can do their best to rate you
And they'll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there's more to what you're worth
Than their human eyes can see

Chorus:
Oh, I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man

Well, you can doubt your worth
And search for who you are
And where you stand
But God made you in His image
When He formed you in His hands
And He looks at you with mercy
And He sees you through His love
You're His child and that will always be enough
For there's more to what you're worth
Than you could ever comprehend

Oh I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man

Bridge:
You can spend your life persuing physical perfection
There is so much more
More than ever meets the eye
For God looks through the surface
And He defines your worth by what is on the inside


I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
Oh, I say the measure of
The measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand,
How wealthy or intelligent you are
Oh, I've found the measure of a man
God knows and understands it
For He looks to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
Yeah, what's in the heart defines
Yeah, what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
I know, I know

yeah... 4Him rockss!!! ^^

oh... and my leadership capabilities... tis is actually frm a book called
Christian Reflections on The Leadership Challenge
James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner with a forward by John C. Maxwell

and theres an assessment on the Five Practices of Exemplary Leadership, namely
Model the Way, Inspire a Shared Vision, Challenge the Process, Enable Others to Act, and Encourage the Heart.

explanation for each part... they are excerpts frm LEADERSHIP IS EVERYONE’S BUSINESS
James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner

Model The Way- “work on ourselves before we work on others” and says that “leaders’ lives are mirrors,
reflecting precepts they want those they lead to follow.”He reminds us to be the example in the world that we want others to emulate.

Inspire A Shared Vision- David McAllister-Wilson reflects on Inspire a Shared Vision in Chapter Four. David is the president of Wesley Theological Seminary. He tells us that “Vision isn’t everything, but it’s the beginning of everything.” David speaks to us about embracing our struggles and transforming them into an ideal future possibility.

Challenge the Process- Patrick Lencioni, in Chapter Five, reflects on Challenge the Process. Pat is president of The Table Group and the author of The Five Temptations of a CEO4 and other books on leadership and teams. “Before setting out on a quest to challenge the process and change the world,” he says, “Christian leaders should probably ask themselves two questions: Who am I really serving? And am I ready to suffer?”He then addresses important issues of perseverance, humility, and risk.

Enable Others to Act- In Chapter Six, Nancy Ortberg reflects on Enable Others to Act. Nancy directs the Axis ministry at Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago. She tells us that “Jesus embodies the ultimate example of someone who fostered collaboration and strengthened individuals.” Nancy provides very moving evidence of how giving power away is a lot more effective—and grounded in Christian principles—than grabbing and holding on to power.

Encourage the Heart.- Ken Blanchard reflects on Encourage the Heart in Chapter Seven. Ken’s book (with Spencer Johnson), The One Minute Manager,5 set in motion an entire genre of management books, and his The One Minute Manager library has sold more than nine million copies. Ken is also the cofounder of The Ken Blanchard Companies and now spends the majority of his time helping people learn to lead like Jesus. Caring more about others than about one’s self is at the crux, explains Ken, of allowing God to work miracles through you. Ken says it’s all about being a servant leader.

mind u tis book is also for non-christians to find out how to lead too... :-p
"Whether the application is in a faith-based organization, a corporation, a governmental agency, a not-for-profit, your neighborhood, your community, or your family, this book can help you improve your capacity to guide others to places they have never been before."

go here to read up.. http://media.wiley.com/product_data/excerpt/73/07879833/0787983373.pdf

i took it during e yfc camp... so... what am i...
i am a high inspire, almost high enable, moderate encourage, moderate challenge, but am a low model by 1... although i tink i am realli a bad role model anyway... haha... oh my scores maybe quite high cos its judged by my own standards... so some of my frens like 1 moderate rest all low... so ya... cool... im surpirsed im a high inspire... and im a dum high I with moderate encourage... -.-

seriously... i am starting to do things i never did in e past 2 years.. but i am doing it more and more frequently recently... there are alot of things i wanna say.. but i guess im going to keep it to myself for sometime...

i seriously dun feel like doing anithing le.. so many thins to do suddenly tt it is like overkill lah... my spiritual state is really low until cannot low... thus i realli dun feel like doing my resp...

last week i went for 2 leadership camps(or at least so called)... i realized tt i actually hav quite abit of leadership in me... juz tt im a bad role model... but its juz tt i dun want to do it and i rather slack i guess... no its e whole spiritual thing tt declined tt everything has followed... and i dun look a teeny bit like one... cos i look childish still i guess...

u wldnt want to noe what i did last nite at hm u noe during an argument... realli...

if u were looking forward to seeing me tok abt ogl camp im srry but i guess u wun see now... nor can i say i would ever feel like blogging abt it ever...

im juz going to die lah never started studying... die die die... theres definitely more to life than studying(althought im nt in a very gd position to say so) but realli we dun hav to study all e time u noe... im doing e exact opposite though...

why do i like e impossible? i dun noe.... it juz seem so but it is really crazily impossible for an average human and i still do... i think im juz going to forget it cos i never deserve/am worthy of such things...

i juz feel like giving up... give up what u say? everything... everything tt im strving which i can never can reach... everything tt im doing... juz give up....

i need a break...

oh and do u hav to block me even though u dun want to tell me something? i noe u are used to doing so and i am oh so nt observant to notice some things... but it is seriously nt nice to do so ok... dun wan to say dun wan to say lah.. alamak... grr...

tts why i say i wanna give up.. i can still never reach tt lvl too...

i m a crazy super high I now... feeding on mere chatting...

i m oh so in a weird state... i cant even tell what i am anymore...

yea yea... busy busy busy.... grr...

oh crap headache.. arrrggghhhh....

well but maybe ull never noe what kinda state i was... everything juz feel like dun care... dun care lah...

Class Chalet 2006 with 06S202!!! and e nxt few days...

ok.. so finally found some strength to blog abt class chalet... after reading all my frens blog... hl.. al.. both vonnes hav posted it le... so prob i will be e last... haha.. gd.. den i will do my perspective.. cover what they didnt say.. and most of it dun hav to say... :-p juz go to their blogs and read... :-p u can do so by clicking on my links... lol... =) hopefully tis wun take too long. nt gonna spend 5 hrs like hl.. siao...

On 15th nov... e 1st day of our chalet...
I finish choir only at like abt 4 or 5... den suppose to take my bike frm church... however moz of em was at queensway so i decided to go there with hl.. lixian and ask al to help me take my bike.. e queensway and ikea story go read at their blogs.. both vonnes and iris got lost.. so funny.. and guess what.. iris's class T which is size s fits me perfectly rather than my size m... tis juz shows why e girls were complaining it was too big for em.. haha... :-p den e gals lixian low and bangbang came my hse help me take stuff... cos botta bring my ps2 my bag den my guitar.. so ask em come.. actually wanted em to pei me more than anything... :-p glad they did... by e time reack chalet like 10 le... e rest of e nite a grp of ppl went biking with my bike!!!! i was quite unhappy lor.. they pang seh e rest of us... cycle till 4~5 plus... lol.. den e rest of us nothin to do.. juz slack arnd.. well some more plus fatigue of nt sleeping tt nite.. my emotion became wild lah.. and e more i tink of it e more unhappy i became.. so i tried avoiding em abit.. slept at e poolside.. but u noe what.. i dun regret it.. e poolside is e best place to sleep lah... its so super cooling.. can see e big sky... den hear e pool water running.. shiok lah.. super nice... u noe.. i am tt type.. who juz love to hav a moment of peace and quiet by myself sometimes.. juz soak into e environment.. wanted to do tt in e beach but cant find a gd spot lor... it shiok provided u dun kena bitten by mosquitoes.. :-p i didnt... :-p BUT!!!! in e middle of e nite... tis grp of "matts" went early morn diving lah when me and jx(who came later) were sleeping.. wah lao eh.. so noisy.. they like competing who can make e loudest and biggest splash.... siao... luckily.. i had my nano with me.. so plugged my ears.. :-p den e whole nite when i woke up and see jx asleep... i kept thinking.. woah.. how can he slp with e noise.. lol... guess what.. e nxt day jx told me he thought e same thing of me too.. we juz happen to wake up at diff times seeing each others eyes closed.. lol.. but hes worse.. cos he no mp3 to plug his ears... :-p so juz drowned my bitterness like tt.. in e morn i wake up tinking i was abit siao so unhappy over small thing.. oh well... tired mah..

On 16th Nov... 2nd day chalet...

it was breakfast at foodcourt.. den eat e char kway teow.. which was delicious.. but i guess oily bah.. made me quite sick.. sian.... den almoz couldnt go katong... i decided to go karaoke instead of my usual pool or dota... on e way there... e choir ppl in my class.. hl lx and bernard was like singing choir songs.. and we like siam away frm e class...(more like they siam away frm us.. like hl said.. :-p) den end up tok abt character stuff and tis sorta things rather than singing on e bus.. :-p karoake wasnt gd.. cos i didnt slp enuf.. den gt soar throat.. so sing all e pop songs juz killed my throat... haha.. everyone like praising al can sing.. :-p well what do i tink??? haha... anyway tt was very fun 1st time go sing karaoke... haha.. u noe ah.. hl and fred like huan xi yuan jia(erm.. i actually nt very sure what it means.. but tis phrase came to my mind.. :-p) whole day "bickering" or whacking each other... queensway like tt katong initally like tt also.. well is cos fred hav e tendency of "bullying"(rather disturb lah.. but cos he will always win cos he strong.. lol..) others.. den hl is juz so... erm... "unrefined"... :-p(dun get offended ah.. :-p) i dun wanna say more abt em.. haha... den yada yada e bbq prob go read at others blog.. like hao yi said.. i chalet like nt chalet.. whole day running arnd get stuff.. haha... but shiok also sleept on e bus 43..
At nite was another dissappointing one... bbq was quite a failure... food alot.. but never really cook.. start so late also... but however big tks to cha tao(i prefer cha tao to kopi lor) and kenn for doing alot for e bbq... preparing it... den at nite.. at 1st wated to go spider web.. den walk halfway.. we thought it was going to rain.. so came back halfway... lol.. in e end never rain... -.- but e scenery was once again nice... can see stars.. =) den alter when reach back.. i was like.. lets do something together.. but its like either ppl didnt hear.. or ppl never respond.. so played ps2... and some started to slp cos we playing ps2 den they nothin to do.. -.- some of em also started bbqing again which was a failure... so moz ppl juz statred slping.. and in end.. e whole nite didnt realli do anything... so sad.. so sianz...

3rd day was juz packing up... den go eat branch.. and ended up sitting there very long toking non stop abt random stuff again... was fun... =) shiok.. den went back with al on bike... den we reaching hm tt time... we were toking toking.. den decided to tok longer.. so stopped and talked.. toked abt how we felt abt e chalet.. we both felt tt it was abit dissappointing.. cos its juz like every ohter outing u noe.. dun feel like chalet.. but we were saying maybe cos we are already so bonded and we expected too much bah... den we started gossipping abt also... haha... toking abt predicting somethings will happen sooner or later... haha... al actually share e same sentiments like me... :-p another shiok time... talking...

so tts basically all.. pics go they're blog can see lah... i might wanna post a select few.. but not today.. and maybe not even soon.. cos i going for camp le.. juz wanna say cha tao and me realli becoming quite gd frens.. we starting to stick to each other quite abit... and tks jx.. for being always arnd me... being e person i can always tell abt everything... love u too... =)

2006-2912-2211-0109-0507-2801-1406-1405-1510
tis is a special "serial code".. tt i will remember.. or at least try.. can u guess what it is? haha.. (hint something to do with my closer frens)... and i will do something for em.. :-p

woah.. still got sun nite and today... siao.. so much...

ok sun nite was juz went to doulos.. which was cool.. might wanna go missions tripn with em.. however met with a very unfortunate event.. my necklace broke lor.. i was quite unhappy lah... although hes quite my gd fren... hes still so cildish lor.. broke it nvm noe.. its ok.. juz a necklace.. but he like still can laugh u noe... and give me tt face and say.. who ask u... didnt expect him to realli go so far lah... den i juz storm outta e shop lor... and guess what weaklings like me wld do.. i was also tired.. so was very unhappy also lor... cos somethings came to my mind... haiz...

i shld juz stop thinking abt those stuff anymore... new or old.. i shld nt let it bother me... i guess i cant fully go back to my old self.. but at least dun tink of it.. im not ready for it.. and nt worthy of it too...

today ah... badminton and table tennis in church.. with class.. my class is really camera crazy.. like to take photo so much... lol... e hightlight is more like e photos.. lol.. quite fun lor... they end up coming my hse after very late lunch.. cos too late for bowling... and i end up sleeping in my rm cos i was too tired.. lol...

tmr going out with class again.. den ogl camp.. lol.. juz cant get unuf of our class... lol...
gonna miss cha tao... lol.. lol and vonne... but juz saw her todae and will see her tmr.. so its ok.. ^^ cha tao will be a very long time lah... lol... wah.. finally im done.. woah.. almoz 1 half hrs sia.. better than hl lor... 5 hrs.. S.I.A.O.!!!! i cut short everything.. so srry.. really dun hav mood to blog e past few days... den my posts are little but long.. lol... but ive been busy too.. and i realli gotta find more time to study.. or ill juz die nxt year.. oh.. ive been busy chionging bleach manga... :-p juz chiong finish juz now.. its sooooooooooo nice.. =)

crap... my tagboard is down... i realized its e website kena remove or something.. rui's one is also missing.. haha.. sian.. i doubt it will come up soon.. and if it doesnt.. i gotta get a new one...

ok recently im juz getting so jealous of rui lor... im nt gonna say why here.. but oh well...

sometimes im thinking.. i wanna try to be a bad guy for once.. :-p

ok tts all... BB.... till nxt time...

Videos which tricia took..

Tis is some of e videos tricia took last week or so... i decided to coap it frm her blog and put it here too.. hope she dun mind...

videos at sempang bedok on 11th Nov..







Comm meeting at SMU on 13th Nov..





Comm outing at Gelare's at plaza sing on 14th Nov..










Supper!! Chicken rice!!1 my stomach was famished.. :-p

tis strong emotion.. but im lazy to blog it out..

k.. lets juz say.. chalet got alot happenned.. but i juz lazy to blog out nw.. lazy to read everyone's long post on it.. :-p all so long lor.. all i wanna say nw is.. 1 day in e chalet i was quite unhappy...

and today... well.. felt strong emotions again...

my necklace is broken.. sob sob... but nvm.. my as well.. i tink its gd tt its broken.. its a reminder...

so.. till i realli.. hav e mood... srry... i realli nt in e mood to blog it out... nt in e mood to talk abt em... hav alot of things i wanna consider whether i wanna say anot... so... off to chionging bleach manga!!!!

a great 5 days past.. another great 5days look brightly shining ahead of me.. =) =)

actually abit sian to blog.. alot to blog lor.. den now so late.. but dun care.. if i leave it.. it wld be too many to blog... lol...

woah.. e hols hav past almoz 2 weeks le... but guess what.. i had a great past 5 days... let me juz tell u what time i hav been back hm last few nites...
last thurs: 10 plus
last fri: 11 plus
last sat: 10 plus
sun: almoz 12
mon: 11
tues(a few hrs ago): almoz 12

lol.. i needn't elaborate more on how much i have been enjoying myself... its been a great 5 days lah... thurs fri had meetin to prepare for yf on sat.. but super fun.. although quite stress.. i can say its 1 of e plannings i enjoy e most lah.. big tks to rui, trish and qiang... they've been there constantly trying to come up with ideas... stress they are.. but at least to me.. they brought alot of fun and joy to planning.. although i wld say tt i felt tt i didnt do much... tts why i wanna tk u all for being there.. =)

on sat was e actual yf... i had an argument with my mum.. so well.. made me feel like dun wan wake up... was supposed to meet at 930.. i end up reach 1130... lol.. so responsible.. e yf was great... i enjoyed being part of e plannin... seeing cia, rui and cheryl with spooky faces were cool... cheryl has a natural whitening on her face lah.. juz paint her eyes abit red.. den look so scary le.. haha.. too bad cant put e photos up... :-p they were super cool lah.. e 3 of em.. e spooky music was cool also lah... so spooky lah.. i also abit afraid of going into a rm by myelf... x( cant still remember debbie juz came.. walked into a rm.. den ran out hiding behind qiang after hearing a scream.. haha... :-p so cool... :-p and e best grp for e day is..... MY SIS'S GRP!!! they were e last and e most afraid lah... grp memebers were my sis, sean and lyn.. even sean who is 26 was afraid.. lol.. dunno whats he afraid of anyway... haha.. but so funny... he like pushing e girls to go 1st lor.. so bad... and my sis every little thing also scream.. haha.. so funny... den we do all kinda thngs to "disturb" em... haha.. cool cool... den after went to "prata place" with rui, jason, qiang, joash and trish.. i ate a prata bomb, cheese prata and a super not worth it lalat shared with joash.. lol...

sun.. like usual.. church morn.. den went to see hse afternoon... nite soccer... den went to marina square to eat.. e ppl who went were sl.. adrain.. rui... jodi and shawn... jodi wanted to eat Changing Appetites(CA).. den we were all complaining abit.. me and shawn were nt very supportive of it esp..cos it cost a bomb and we are e only ones not working... so its like... dun wan lah... tried nt to complain.. and we already set there.. but i guess being e usual grp.. we juz kept complaining.. den jodi got real mad.. cos she e only one wanting to be there... cos she wanted to hav a gd meal... den she gt very unhappy everyones complaining... den she like rite in front of us.. call a fren to complain abt us lah... i was like... -.- she was like saying she juz wanted to get a gd meal... but den we spoiled her mood.. i was quite hurt by tt lor.. i mean.. i understand tt she wants a gd meal after a week of hard work.. but well.. she didnt consider abt us also lah... but i wldnt say its her fault.. but i juz gt real hurt too... cos hav nt tok to her in awhile... den tt time went out with her so thought can u noe... xu xu jiu or somethin like tt.. nt been toking to her much lah although see her quite often since she started working... but den tt happenned so was quite sad... but anyway... e fd was gd.. e fish and chips i ate were quite gd.. jodis dunno call what which is like cheese sauce and spaghetti kinda thing taste wonderful alh.. den she treated us to dessert... a brownie with ice cream... a ice cream cake like dessert which tates heavenly... and a wafer with juz plain sweet wonderful tasting chocolate... woah.. shiok lah... dessert has never never tasted so gd and so sweet for a very long time.. i juz love it lor e choc.. e dessert alone cost more than 20 bucks lor... but however since tt is free i felt tt my 10 bucks was well spent... =) hah.. we all became high on suger after tt... everyone like abt siao lor.. haha... but didnt tok much with her after tt... oh well... i guess since shes working our wrld became very diff to e point tt we dont hav much to tok le... oh well...

woah.. sian so long... try to cut short nxt few... mon slept till 130 cos of sleep debt and slept at 330... so day was short.. at nite had exco meeting till quite late.... u noe.. i was abit unhappy during exco meeting again.. dunno why... juz didnt like e way we asked things and were shifting things and checking abt things... too corporate for me i guess... like and org.. so propably tt's why.. juz nt happy lah... den i was like constantly drawing... trying to explore my creativity... trying to learn to draw things other than zigzag lines and boxes.. manage to draw a face wuite well... and a scary and angry face outta nothin lah... so cool.. didnt meant to do so.. but its like.. some how hantam hantam.. den looked like a scary face.. so i add in features lor.. so cool... =) well.. i was quite unhappy during e meeting.. but oh well... i still kinda felt like i enjoyed it i guess.. maybe cos of fellowship? lol... im weird... oh.. den dinner was subway lah... so nice can.. only 4.50... plus e cookie was superlicious.. haha.. oh.. did i mention.. tt e class came my hse... juz to decide where to go tt day? so stupid can.. like my hse free like tt noe... haha... den they spend an hr "deciding" where to go but actually moz of us playing and some playing my guitar.. but worst of all... dey decided to go tm.. like tks.. come my hse juz to decide on tm again.. lol.. quite smart ah... haha...

den yest had to hand in i&r... miss sathya like last min say muz hand in gpp also.. den we had to scavenge all our mailboxes for it.. or nt had to go hm to take.. luckily 1 of us hav it.. lol... tt took a long time.. den choir cancelled to todae.. sian.. long hr of choir= tired for chalet... TODAY IS CHALET LAH!!! haha.. den went yoshinoya eat lunch.. den watched step up... e movie very nice lah.. suddenly felt like dancing.. u noe.. i always i felt a freestyle dancing blood runnin thru my veins lah.. on my way to gelare at dhoby ghaut.. juz listening to rock songs kinda song.. i cld juz imagine how to dance lah... lol.. my wildest dream.. but i dont like e provocative moves in hiphop.... but i can juz feel and imagine myself doin dance steps for songs...cool rite.. gonna try it out soon.. :-p

Gelare was great... plus treat frm celias parents was eextra extra shiok.. oh e ppl who went were celia.. rui.. trish.. cheryl... qiang and e only non exco member sean... lol.. i always love fellowships... =) juz spent time joke joke chit chat.. later tried to watch a movie( oh no.. movie AGAIN??!!!!) decided nt to cos too late... but end up never eat dinner stomach became famished.. den celia cheryl left.. and sean soon too... and so we went to eat hainan chicken rice.. den end up left e 4 of us again.. rui trish qiang and me.. oh did i mention i bought a new wonderfully looking shirt frm this fashion... gonna wear it to chalet man... so nice...

im gonna say tis again.. CHALET IS TODAY!!!!! WOOHOO!!! AND I GOT INTO OGL!!! WOOHOO!!! nxt week is like second class camp u noe... haha.. ogl camp... im juz so thankful for miss sathya cos she helped me alot and im so grateful to hav her as my ct... =)

wait wait.. i juz wanna say.. yes... it really did help nt seeing for a while... and i reigntied an old flame.. lol lol... but i was like lame... it will never happen also.. oh and i am becoming quite erm.. yes... want to change somethings.. so trying to go dentist asap.. haha.. :-p u noe i was quite sian of trying to change my char so much.. and i feel like i wan to dun care le.. so... erm... ya... tried to keep tis short... still very long... but its e shortest i cld do le.. i might wanna add somethins next time.. but for now... tis is it... photos too many lah.. maybe nxt time... so is off to slp.. and off to chalet tmr.. but only after choir.. :-p

fun week? yeah!!! will hav too much to blog..

guess what? its 230am.. actually my com hand arnd 1.50 and i wanted to slp... but den at 1st realized i wanted to blog... den decided not to cos too late plus last 3 days alot happened so end up reading ppl's blog.. end up still took haf an hr.. -.- so stupid lol...

tis week will be a great week.. alot of things happenned and will be happening which make me tink.. When can i find time to blog all of em down? haha... kk.. go slp le...

plannin is always fun...

plannin is always fun... was plannin thurs nite and last nite(now 1 plus mah) till 10 plus for todaes halloween breakout(yf/church)... very fun lah.. qiang was e joke of e nite... haha.. he got all tied up(seriously literally)... :-p its tough and tiring.. but its enjoyable... e class went to eat dinner todae but had to give it a miss becos of tis... missed neoprint.. oh well.. im not a fan of it.. and only took it once... quite waste money anyway... abit felt like going for dinner with em.. but its alrite.. theres many more opportunites..... =)

tks ah.. no one told me abt lunch tis afternoon... lol...

im quitting sco.. personal decision cos dun wan to sing buddhist songs and praise buddha.. lol... i actually feel guilty(yo e choir ppl) for nt performing.. but hope they understand... i dun mind such a big performance.. its juz nt gd...

but i thought can rest abit frm missing sco.. but later(lol sound so funny) got to be in church at 930 to prepare for yf... no rest... but oh well... am looking forward to it... =) its goin to be fun fun fun... :-p

u noe... everyone is starting to love our class le.. al is one.. :-p now tt everyone mentioned it.. class chalet is going to be fun.. although i didnt realli thought much abt it... well.. hidden in my mind.. i knew its going to be fun... and am secretly looking forward to it.. :-p

i kinda feel like im going to miss e class alreadi... cos wun see each other every other day.. haha.. well.. tt can be avoided(hint hint.. =)

i noe likely u wun read tis.. even if u do its nt like u thought it was u... or u wld care...

i dont wanna noe...

if only...

someone can juz help me kick u outta my mind... i wld be more than grateful..

i am still struggling...

slack again... me and my "proud" attitude..

was toking with my sis todae on e way we talk.. i guess e way i blog and e way i think may nt be very aggressive or i may nt be angry... but ppl tink i was.. or it makes ppl unhappy... really tt bad meh... lol.. my sis is telling me to change e way i phrase my writings here... nt very nice... guess i like to be very direct on my blog... now tt i tink o fit.. ya... i guess i can seem abt "proud" and stubborn at times.. insisting on my values and tinking others shld be wrong... oh well.. dun wanna elaborate more... but haiya... im nt what i tink i am i guess... i guess tts why certain things happenned e way it did...

juz to clarify.. e "nice" guy thing on one of my posts was refering to me.. but to a particular situation tt is happening.. or has happenned... so.. dun get offended.. lol...


if things were onli tt easy...

when will tis end..

haiz..

my mind.. its.. irritating..

gotta start changing e way i post or speak.. zz..

slacked e whole nite away.. didnt plae.. i realli dun noe what i did e whole nite.. lol... zz...

tis is super super funny..

i thought e hossann leong video was funny.. check tis out.. can laugh until u peng.. haha... :-p

grr.. go die go die...

grr... go die go die go die go die go die go die go die... grr.. irritating...

a few hrs later now... its nt so bad... but haiya.. so irritating... hate it hate it... stop bothering me...

juz nw wanted to go bowl end up decide nt to be gd boy go look at potential new hses...

but sian...

grr.. was so tired juz nw...

today quite sian actually... pw i didnt do very well.. but haiya dun care shld get ME anyway...

den watched movie todae... was funny but sian...

i juz dont like it also when ppl dun notice ppl who might be feeling left out.. i hate it becos i noe how it feels.. and im worried for ppl who is like tt.. some ppl are realli insensitive.. nt tt im ver..y but... grr...

grr.. go away go away...

Goong OST is very nice...

goong ost is beri nice lah...who says i cant enjoy goong songs without watching goong? lol... like i said before.. dun wanna watch these lovey dovey drama... but e songs are realli nice... :-p

lalala~ lala ~..... =)

gt abit abit second thoughts on ogl.. but still wanna be... :-p tok to sathya and miss ng today... hopefully i can be ogl... :-p

"i am justice" quote frm death note... lol...

tmr is op presentation... 06s202 jia you.... juz do your best... e rest is nt up to u... =)

e dream abt fred and hl is funny... actually.. interesting... had it on fri nite... :-p

i want to tell u a story...

but...

its time to forget... juz like u shld abt...

it all started in my mind.. it shall all end there...

haha.. me and my other bro frm sch is juz as dissillusioned as i am... hope hes alrite too... :-p

perhaps love frm goong lyrics... translated...

J & Howl - Perhaps Love (translated)

I can’t remember exactly when it was
That my mind began to fill up with thoughts of you.
It all began with just one or two thoughts,
But as each day went by, there were more, and I am confused.
I keep telling you that it’s nothing important
But even that feels awkward.
Is this love? Do you feel the same?
My heart keeps telling me that I’m in love with you.
My heart is shouting to the world that I’m in love with you.
Why have I only heard it now?
The voice keeps telling me that I have finally found love.

I want to tell you how I feel,
But you can probably feel the way I feel.
I am already a part of you as you are a part of me.
We may have already become a part of each other.
Is this love? Do you feel the same?
My heart keeps telling me that I’m in love with you.
My heart is shouting to the world that I’m in love with you.
Why have I only heard it now?
The voice keeps telling me that I have finally found love.

When I think back,
There were so many moments
When I felt my heart was about to burst.
It’s a little late, but I’ll try my best.
I want to be with you. I only want us to share good memories.
Please don’t leave me.
I don’t want us to be apart, even for a moment.
I love you so much.

Tis is cool..

took tis frm cheryl's blog.. real cool... check it out...

parachute bleah...

went to xiao bao's church today cos some parachute band is performing... like usual dun realli like their practice.. but its nt so bad with jx arnd... at least can tok to someone.. and e place we are sitting today not so loud and noisy... haha... looking at e ppl raising their hands and jumping arnd... i realli wonder...

guess going xiao bao's church once in awhile can tahan.. haha... but not as regular worship... nono.. e songs are nt meant to be sang lah.. they are meant to be screamed.. lol.. den stand so long some more...

i am realli quite skeptic... :-p

found out something today which realli surprises me... oh well... guess he better do a way better job than i do... but doubt he'll do anithing abt it... hes nt tt type i guess... lol... no hope lah...

had a weird tingly feeling which made me tink got somethin new... but in e end... still cant forget...

cant be ogl lah... dunno which teacher sabo me... nvm im gonna juz keep trying until realli cannot.. dun care... :-p

chinese ok lah... dun tink i will get an A.. but a B is gd enuf for me... :-p which is still hard lah...

maybe i shld... try to... haiya dun care lah.. juz ignore...

ee jx still nt pure is lor.. can feel his high c.. even though he is also high I.. nt something very gd... but i guess can never find another rui so its still great to have jx... gals even harder... even though we can be very fren.. no matter what.. there will still be a gap where they wun say certain things so... guy power all e way.. :-p

i realized.. i actually realli love to be sticky... :-p since jx started sticking to me.. i started to stick to ppl to... sometimes like xiao bao said so gay... :-p oh.. and i have a new found gd fren in cha tao pao... :-p

hmm.. wheres my long overdue photos..

everyone on e bus while on e way to eat leaving bash on tues...

e gals...
e gals at bash..
yvonnes trying to mimick jun gangs natural swollen chin from removing 4 wisdom tooths.. ouch...
vonnes taking photo while jg giving funny look behind... haha...


e guys posing with macdonald.. haha...

2 of e 3 musketeers on top of e playground.. haha.. al brokoe his necklace on tis playground.. haha...
ng aka xiao bao at e playgrnd.. haha.. realli like small kid.. haha... :-p

bang bang and iris on e bus on e way to parkway last fri....

my new necklace rui bought for me... its cheap and nice... =)

e big argument....

u noe... i happen to watch goong juz now... den was seeing how bad e main char(forgot his name) was treating yuki(its yuki rite? lol...) u noe what... i also had tis thought today.. forgotten when... but it was like... e baddie always gets e gurl kinda thing u noe... e same goes for goong... e nice guy always seem to lose out... and nt as appreciated as e handsome and "cool" guy... tts juz life... guess who am i thinking e "nice" guy might be?? lol...

quick quick gotta end tis.. havent study for a lvl chi tmr!!!

i was feeling awfully sad today.. esp when i was in sch... i dunno when i juz arrived in sch nt long.. e sky started turning grey... and i sortof felt e same... dunno why.. prob becos of last nite... when i came hm i sortof teared abit also dunno why... but heres what happenned last nite...

i had a seriously big argument... me against my whole family... but i dont disagree it was my fault... but i juz wish somethings didnt happen a few months ago tt made me like tt... i juz wish i hadnt done those things last nite...
guess what happenned after tt? i walked outta hse.. looked for a playgrnd.. lide there.. made sure i had a view of e sky and e moon... and started reflecting... and i slept there for awhile.. before i went hm... juz thought i had to leave hse cos im nt controlling my anger...

i think i prob need some emotions control courses... haha... i still cant control my emo well... if only i cld.. tis explains why i am a left handed.. low eq... lolz...

slept quite abit last nite yet so tired... zz...

realized i have lost it... realli no longer what i was.. lost e plot...

today.. i thought... nah... ng wouldnt..

woah.. my sis watching goong while i studying rite in front of me.. den i was so distracted.. den i happen to saw a part when lu said which i agree... “谢谢你成为我身命中的一部分”，可是我知道我不陈是你心中的一部分。
e show looks nice to me but dun wanna watch all tis lovey-dovey serials nt very gd... :-p

k tts all for now...

Death Note is crazily evil..

juz managed to watch 1 epi of death note... siao.. its crazy lah... how can u pass judgement tt someone deserves death... even if someone committed a crime... don't they deserve a second chance or something? and Light is trying to play god lah... e biggest sin man can make... although he has powers tt human dont... we all still play and wanna be our own god... but Light juz shows what happens when man has tis kinda power... using our limited intellect to pass judgement on someone... so what happen if i offend tis Light... do i deserve death... den how abt e family members of e ppl he killed? do they deserve to lose someone close to em? lol... crazy lah.. might wanna watch on to see tis... but it gives me bad feelings... haha.... watching someone or something do something i dont agree dun seem enjoyable.. haha....

wah lao.. spent 3 hrs cutting hair lah.. 1hr travel there and back.. den e hair cut... $14 lah.. so ex some more... but cha tao pao's hair quite nice i tink.. mine like quite normal lah...

i thought i could hear ur voice frm afar initially...
tt voice... tt laughter...
after awhile... i looked up...
and realized its nt ur voice actually...
u hav faded to e backgrnd..
juz like how u hav in my mind...
and yup... still trying to forget...


u noe i realized tt i am very gd at pretending... e person i used to like in e past also never knew lah... guess nt even tis one will... gd gd... :-p