Worried... and Gdbye... for some time..

Im worried worried woorried...
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abt what?
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e yf...
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Why?
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and i might not post here for some time... till my internet is back...

so its gdbye... for now...

YF dieing???? I realli hope not...

Didnt want to post until nxt week... but gotta say tis... will make it short...

If u ask me... i think e yf is realli dieing... i mean we didnt publicise and ask ppl to come and all...but e no of ppl coming is realli scary... and we supposedly have a big comm which might make it seem like nobody is coming thus ppl wont come... but... realli... its quite bad... i mentionedbefore tt e no of ppl coming for yf for pirates is bad... abt 13 i think... but its getting worse... last week was abt like 10... den yest... at 3.30-40... e exco only me and qiang... not counting yafers... there was like NO YFERS!!! i was like stunned....at 3.50 or 4... half an hr late... only 4 appeared... shawn tiang... joash... My sis and Deb Tan... i mean i was like... its so bad... plus like 3/6 possible comm members excluding rui and debbie didnt appear... and they can like dont let qiang noe lor... i think qiang is even more stress den me lor... i think its impt to let them noe tt its impt to acc for each other so we noe whats happening in each others life.. and esp for yf.. where actually we are required to com as often as poss... lol... i was quite sad lah so little ppl came...i mean like rahcel prepared a great lesson on spiritual discipline... and well like so little ppl can benefit from it... quite wasted i'd say... but well at least we benefitted frm it... joash was telling me tt e yf is dieing and i was like ya... den wad is e comm(including me) doing? are we going to let it go on like tt... every week 10 ppl come out of 50 and a possibly active 25-30??? gotta do something... or not after a few weeks e problem will get realli serious... i mean tis is e 1st time as long as i can remember tt i see so little ppl lor... so bad... maybe e problem isnt tt serious... but better do something abt it... its not like nos is impt... but a no tis little i think is a cause for concern... starting 1st by praying abt it.. and pray for God's leading in making decisions... like i learned more today on how to fully depend on God... =)

The power sermon tt can change alot of christians out there....

Click on this link and go listen to tis sermon... christians out there!!!! its very gd and it might change your life... i personally find it very meaningful... e only bad thing abt it its all his shouting and its 1 hr long... but if u could juz spend 15min a day paying full attention to it..(but i believe tt when u listen for 15min ull listen to it all =) i think tis is e best sermon i have ever heard... so pls go listen ok? if u think it wasnt gd rite....
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den i dunno anything better.... haha...

haha.. gtg le... suppose to be asleep by now... oh and was happy tt i helped someone tis week... hope i do so to someone every week... got sort of a sense of accomplishment.. =) hmm... tts prob how i wanna make my worth... i guess... hmm... and my tagline:

may all those who read my blog have a blessed week... and for those christians... lets all live out our life as God's child for e week ahead... and the years to come... till we reunite with Him.

Amen.

Blog as a form of communication within e comm?

hmm... i thought of something e past few days... why don't all e yf exco have a blog??? why do i say so... cos i think e yf exco can regularly update e other yf excos abt their week... prayer request.. thanksgiving.. got alot of advantages... we can noe what is going on with e other members life... gd lor i think... but well ... will suggest tis weekend to qiang... but to restate my stand.. i still dun realli like e whole blog thing.. but rather than disliking it... my as well make full use of its advantages.. lolz...

The 5 cents incident... and my testimonial...

Tis week actually wanted to post for some time... but i was too busy.... haha... so cant remember some of e things i wanted to say... hmm... talk abt today...

haha.. got one embarassing incident today... today when i had lunch e malay stall uncle shortchanged me by 5 cents... he gave me 5 cents instead of 10... haha... but i didnt care lah... only 5 cents what.. donate to him lor... den i had to buy my bus consession today... i was quite confident tt i had more than the $27.50 required to pay for it... but den when i reached e mrt... i had to buy frm e control station cos the counteris closed... den when he help me do all e procedures le... i realised i dun have enuf money... i had $27.45.... lol lol.... so embarrasing lah... e uncle was like... how come u never check how much money u have before u buy... den when i told him i had $27.45 and i guess he prob cant reverse e process... he said nvm... lolz... in e end i was e one who was shown kindness... but it was so embarassing.. den i notice i queue behind me... which wasnt there earlier... lolz...

den when i reached my hse e bus stop and was alighting... guess who i saw boarding e bus at my bus stop... Gavin... lol... den asked him a quick why are u here?
Gavin: send someone home..
lol... prob could guess who it is... oh den he ask me go planetshakers concert.. and guess what... my brother in class asked me to go today... haha.. he even offered to pay for me but i said nvm... haha.. so i feel obliged to go... but better find out more abt it 1st... haha... and Gavin wanted to bring tt someone special who is not a christian to e concert... well at 1st i wasnt very supportive of it.. but after some thought.. i realized its a gd opportunity to bring her to christ... so said ya juz bring her go but i told him i dun agree with them together or even going out together as a matter of fact... but well... tis is diff... lol...

my week was quite hectic... everyday occupied... now occupied by tis blog.. lolz... ive been sinning alot again... e sin which i always didnt want to commit... i commit numerous time again e past few day... sigh... when will i ever learn... my mum asked me after i was listeningtis power sermon... ah will talk abt it later... she was telling me tt she often hear sermons like tt.. its common.. but den i felt judgemental... and said but u dont show it... den she challenged me... which i thought abt it for a while... she asked me... Do others see God in u? Do u think u appear(figuritively) diff frm others... den i thought.. yeah... i think my actions are like every other non-c... juz tt maybe im abit nicer than others.... THATS ALL!!! yup... i think i stil have alot to change... as a testimonial to others and esp my teachers becos its juz so hard... i think i dont see christ in my life too... well... i think im also like a sort of a Sunday christian too... or maybe a weekend christian.... i juz cant live it out in sch and esp at home... my sisters actually dont like e things i do alot... and think i dont deserve to be e yf exco... juz argued with my mother.. or am arguing.... well... gotta work alot more on it... Need lots of God's strength again(tis again will always appear... haha...) need to forgo my sins... and take up e cross,,, yup,,, haha... tis sounds like a self reflection exercise... haha...

A Post for Rui(abt him and how he changed me)

Well... actually didnt want to blog for e rest of e week.... but... seeing rui is going army... ill change tt...

Tis post is abt how he is special to me and how he changed me... i juz noe how it feels to be acknowledged(like how e other yf-yafers including u have given me so abundantly..) so tis is a little something for u...

hope u read tis =)

Rui ah... hes been a real brother to me... guiding me in so many ways... esp in e past year... since hes been my follow up mentor... no wait... actually in e past 3-4 months we grew closer even more... esp in comm... and we actually found out we are quite similar in char... he actually like somehow unlock e high I(I is a character trait, dont ask me to explain it :-) which im used not to show it so much becos it felt weird and well didnt want to show tis "softer side" of me =), me being very e like sports one u noe(ull understand =)... talking abt understand... becos of hes char... he can often tell how im feeling... juz like how adrian could... im juz surprised how someone like him could be so nice to ppl... always thinking abt their needs... noeing how to treat ppl better... and doing it intentionally... or i shld say... putting effort into doing it(which i usually juz do what im used to, and not put in much effort) hes realli a unique kinda person u can hardly find... (although really i find it very feminine of a guy, but like u said, its a stereotype... which i find it very true... and for a great cause).. i think its e reason which i used to always find it surprising how well he can relate to ppl... hes close to most ppl... even their PARENTS!!! now how amazing is tt... but i can imagine e amt of effort he put in... i can say his whole life is dedicated to relating with ppl(haha... exaggeration lah duh...) oh... and not tt he dun play sports lah... hes quite sporty too... =)

Hey juz wanna say tks alot for being my confident and bro... someone i can always tell everything(maybe almost everything... haha... u get what i mean... =) actually ah... i dont understand whats with all e hooha tt ure going to army... its juz army rite... only 2 weeks and well seeya again... its not like ure going overseas and wont see u like in a yr or something... haha... but well... thought i shld at least give a big thank u... haha... srry ah... never write u a card... but i didnt shortchange u by writing it on my blog rite.... haha... enjoy ur army days... i guess u cant have a slacker time liao le rite... =) (actually i have more to say... but cant think of it now... tis is what came straight outta my mind, but realli... to say e truth... i find ur posts in ur blog real feminine... like its posted by a girl... =)

Stereotypes... i noe.... hahaha...

(p.s. forgive me if i keep changing btw u and he... im confused and cant make up my mind =)
(oh and rui can u pls help to teach me to type faster? my typing is so slow and super waste time can... =)

farewell for rui going army and celebrating joella's bday... =)

woah today blog so much... ok last...

e sunday worship was like usual(great lah duh... =) den lunch at 1st wanted to go tm but den found out all e zha bo going only except joash... decided not to go with them lah... wanted to go home do hw also den tm abit far... den got dilemma... at 1st wated to go watch pirates but den found out everyones playing soccer... yuan, keefe(!!!), josh, dinesh, keewen... almost everyone lah.. but den say want to watch movie le... and 9.50 leh... den go and watch... sat nxt to joash and louyapok... i muz talk during a movie esp if its boring... but den joash dun talk one and louyapok is a bimbo and everthing also scared... :-p shld have wanted to sit next to rui or adrian... :-P show was lousy apart frm e gruesome images and e hilarious actions... but den not super funny lor.. its juz like lame... didnt enjoy it but haiya nvm will always prefer to spend time with others rather than juz soccer... haha.. its changing le rather than playing 1st... :-0 den after den tired le and headache and oh oo.. e fd... haha... den go eat dinner and yada yada...

i think i was hope too much for a weekend and it if dun happen always feel sad haiz... but den nvm tis weekend was still quite gd... apart of somethings... haha.. yay... feel gd le... go do qt now den go study le... muz chnage my life and not allow myseld to be tis frustrated and truly live out my life as God's child =).....

may all those who read my blog have a blessed week... and for those christians... lets all live out our life as God's child for e week ahead... and the years to come... till we reunite with Him.

Amen.

Pirates of e Curry Bun :-)

tis weekend... its e very 1st yf under e new comm... including me... e activity was e pirates i was in charge of a station in tis treasure hunt... intially... rui was telling me we could expect 4 grps.. a grp which might consist of 5 ppl to 7.... but den when i got there(late)... it was actually 2... den my laura(my yougest sis) overslept and miss e mrt stop... would come late... den some more both my sis(including michelle) stopped at e wrong stop at east coast tt was a long walk away!!!! e nxt bus was also like almost a half hr wait!!!! got quite frustrated by den... luckily they came faster den expected and did not miss much of e hunt...

intially i didnt like e hunt cos as an observer following a grp i felt e they werent enthusiastic and i thought i felt tt they are not having fun... well.. actually its understandable cos e ppl in e grps are quite quiet.... i didnt enjoy it myself cos i was observer did play e games... den i felt e whole hunt was like really short... but den well have to thank rui for giving me e idea for my station... it ended a hit where both grps have to do all sorts of weird positons to carry e doll and atrracted alot of onlookers... both teams seem to enjoy it alot which made me really happy too... kinda change my mood den... although there were complications and me being late... i guess it was gd... but i was also a feeling a little weird cos i was a station master and ppl were like ignoring me abit... i dint feel like a did a gd job anyway... haiya zhong zi feel weird lah...

well at the end of e hunt... we had a time of worship.. after we end e hunt we continue fellowshiping.. some continue singing songs.. while some were doing nonsense... i was doing both... they were those who left early too... it was also quite fun(although quite crappy) but i dun think i agree with what rui said with jodi tt it felt like e yafers in e past... well.. maybe cos a grp of them were really quiet at a side.. but its ok... they'll change.. =) after tt go makan and it basically sums up e day...

e weekend... e time i look forward to...

To change to a diff topic and to make me think positively... ill blog abt e weekend... weekends are a time where i always look forward.. not becos i can rest.. but becos i will be with all my church frens... its becos i knew shalom tt changed my whole life... they made my weekends so beautiful and enjoyable... they are ppl so nice tt i never knew of in tis sinful world... they helped change my life frm abt myself to abt God... they are ppl i always look forward to spending time with...

Fatigue Depression

i have tis weird problem of feeling very depressed everytime im tired... i juz would think of all things negatively and feel very sad abt it... so funny huh... i think i actually have very poor control over my emotions.. explains all my ill-discipline... muz keep pyschoing myself tt its not what i want but what God would want...

Bad Bad Day

Today is a super duper bad day lah... juz feel like blogging tis... today never go to sch... den thought i got alot of work need to catch up on... wanted to chiong today... den cos today have skin test checkup in sch to verify results... but den i nvr go... so muz go alll e way to ttsh lah... so far lah.. den some more got super big complications tt at 1st can only go tom but found out can go today cos havent close etc.. but den by e time i wanna leave hse its too late.... aaaaaaaaaarrrgggggghhhhhh.... den i muz go tom morning lah... muz miss a few periods in sch.. make me super frustrated... everytime like tt one... i now also super not patient to type out blog... its juz 1 big mess lah... dont like lah...

haiz... i recently have something bothering me... feel very distracted... its not e rite time for it lah... its constantly on my thought... thinking too much abt it... dont want to think of it cos it would affect alot of my resp.. it wont happen anytime soon anyway so dun want it to bother me but it is... it seems impossible anyway... different worlds... haiya.. but its bothering me so much becos it meets all my basic criteria... haiya... im talking nonsense...

today sin alot also.... haiya... imake me feel so guilty and i dont wan to commit tis particular sin cos its been bothering me alot and affecting my walk alot but it still keeps coming back...

got alot of resp which are all impt to me but i am deciding whether to drop one of them cos tts e only one i can drop and i dun tink i can commit to it.... i think have to pray abt and see where God leads....

The yf -exco photo(missing debbie) during lr..

From left:
Bottom:
Tricia, Cheryl, Julia, Celia

top:
Qiang Me, Rui

additional 3rd row on 2nd photo:
rachel(youth staff worker)

i cant do html

for those who read my blog... i can do most things on com... except html... so until i get a pro(sends a poke to rui, haha juz jk...)... haha... ill leave it at tis basic lvl... so dont expect anything... except tagging it...(oh but i dont noe how to.. so u gotta teach me)... =) like i said earlier have a blessed week ppl...

signing off for e day, in His name...
Nick

Tis week

This week is slack week(actually is like usual)... after watching world cup... everyday im like senh... everynite very tired... den spend whole nite on com... never do hw.... actually got alot of things to do... but well... slack in terms of studies...

got back gp, econs and chinese tis week... econs got worse in class again... like every other sub except for gp and chinese... its 4Fs... or 4Us... chinese was also a huge dissapointment... i failed my paper lah... i was so shocked... how can fail... never expected it... almost all my 4 marks mcq wrong lah... so dum... and e trial i got 67 out of 100 can... although ovrl i got a D... it juz sum up a hugely dissappointing exam... except gp... which i am very proud of... my practice compo fail... and my teacher had consultation with me... but thank God tt it happened... e consultation made me prepared for e exam... and i got 25 out of 50 lah... although it wasn't excellent... but my class highest is 26.... and for gp is quite gd for mid yrs... and my teacher is quite happy for me(i guess)... compre i added 6 marks after checking thru ans... haha... but alot of ppl in my class also almost as much... but becos of tt... i got D for it... so happy lah.. class highest c and like only 2... and my class is e 3rd best in e whole of mj... super pressuring lah... but nvm... if i can be ave here... means i can do well for God... so have to depnd on Him... i always use God as an excuse lah... den dont study... no more le... its my God-given responsibility to study... so yup... muz change tis part of my life... yup... my biggest flaw... haha...

Nvr do Qt again tis week... although got do stuff on bible... still think i shortchanged my responsibilities to draw closer to God... now im still feeling abit distant frm God since e start of e year.. haiya i nvr pray enuf... i will do so frm today... haha... i tink its better i make tis blog for God... u noe blog to God, hes my Father and friend and closest confident u noe... i write things here... also for Him to read... haha... not exactly prayer lah... haha.. cannot substitute it.. but well... tis are all things for me to pray to God abt... and got record some more... so gd... woah my blog realli long lah... so longwinded... Tis will be my tagline: may all those who read my blog have a blessed week... and for those christians... lets all live out our life as God's child for e week ahead... and the years to come... till we reunite with Him.

Amen.

Woah... a blog...

Woah... a blog... never thought i will ever make it... although i always thought of doing so... but well... also didnt like all e problems tt comes with it... but den came e yf blog so... anyway heres my blog. although i think i dont want to spend too much time on it... so wont post too often(i hope)... still have my reservations... well... we'll see... but to help myself set e record straight...

Eph 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Romans 14:23b: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin...

testing...

testing??? hahaha...