More frm blogthings

Your Power Color Is Magenta

At Your Highest: You energize yourself and push others to suceed. At Your Lowest: You feel frustrated and totally overwhelmed. In Love: You are suprised by who you attract. You're a love magnet. How You're Attractive: Open and free spirited, people want to explore the world with you. Your Eternal Question: "What is my next source of inspiration?"

What's Your Power Color?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love. Although you may have been hurt before, you tend to bring very little scars into new relationships. You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Your Stress Level is: 61%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now. Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out. Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only wa you'll get through the bad times.

How Stressed Are You?

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything. You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey. You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Your Aura is Yellow

You're a deeply happy and content person, and you enjoy sharing your cheer with others. While you may seem like a simple optimist, there is a lot of thinking going on inside you. The purpose of your life: bringing joy and a better life to others Famous yellows include: Conan O'Brien, Jenny Mccarthy, Jim Carrey Careers for you to try: Athlete, Actor, Yoga Instructor

What Color Is Your Aura?

Challenged like never before... Fear like never before...

I cant help... but feel tt i was so greatly challenged... so greatly feel weak.. so greatly fear.. den caused me to tremble... i dun noe what wlf tis change bring.. but all i noe... is tt its gonna be very tough.. and all i can tink of is fear now...

Blessed Christmas Everyone!!! And celebrating 100 posts at my blog...

Oh.. I forgot to say tis... but HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!!! though ull never read tis and we juz argued again.. ure still my mum and i love u... =)

celebrated my mum's bday juz now(sorta).. was at suntec looking at some garden and orchid exhibition.. totally not my thing.. nt interested.. but oh well.. hardly spend time as a family.. so here goes.. ok lah i guess.. its nice to see e garden exhibits except for another one which is e orchid one.. see how ppl arrange flowers.. ee.. nt my thing... den had kenny rogers... bought a new nice and considerably cheap superman t-shirt... for chinese new year.. :-p

Private Tan is complaining my posts very emo.. really meh? maybe cos everytime i wanna post i mostly am emo?? lol...

i actually realized something i never did juz nw.. for once i wld say my logical self reasoned out and made me dumbfounded abt certain stuff... and i tink it put my feeling guided thoughts to shame... how naive of me... well... e past year ive been doing things i never even thought wld bother me before tis year.. oh well... at least my logical self had a point... and maybe i shld change my mindset abit... cos i still live in tis world.. and in tis world.. its like tt... too bad.. its time to stop it... or at least have to change my mindset.. cos i noe...

joash told me some things tt are realli..... interesting... i guess... :-p

oh.. once again wanna tks rui for being a wonderful hosts.. =) enjoyed my time at ur place.. ^^

kinda got presents frm quite a few ppl i wldnt expect.. tks alot ppl... greatly appreciated it and loved it too... =)

dun noe why my fonts look huge in my blog.. hmm.. nvr change blogskin le shld correct.. :-p

reply to posts again...
To all those who wished me merry christmas: Tks alot ppl... realli appreciated it... =)
To Adriel: tks bro... well.. ill still wish u a blessed christmas with lots of love... :-p showing love dun hav to be always in hugs u noe.. :-p and smother is... noy a gd word to use... :-p


YEAH.. im getting a new skin... havent finalize yet but hav a few in mind... hopefully it'll be up today or tmr bah... lol..

it suddenly struck me... tt i dun like being arnd tis kinda ppl... so maybe..


Blessed Christmas to everyone!!! Hope u will have a woderfully blessed christmas... Me?? it was kinda great until starting pokering and stuff... den they are watching tis dum sick stuff.. sarcastic i wld say.. sometimes its nt all realli great positvie influence ya.. oh well... its 5 am nothin better to do so my as well blog.. and what things worse cld happen on a christmas eve day.. all ur frens pang seh u nvr come peng chang watch me perform... den my sis forgot to bring e cards we were desperately writing and made me late for prac... tks... its quite frustrating... but well... its for a better plan i guess... ok lazy to say much tis early in e morn.... oh btw im at rui's place forgot to mention earlier... his com rm is cool.. hes keyboard is cool.. very nice to type... :-p love to own one someday.. but nah.. sufficienly happpy with e one he gave me.. :-p

sian... im realli gonna die... zz... A's sucks... worried i cant stay over on new years...
ok im gonna learn to reply tags here... :-p cos realized tt a reply like to cheryl's will dissapear soon.. esp since my tag suddenly became active...

cheryl- oh.. quite surprised u tag me.. anyway i wld say its beyond meaningful to e point of encouraging and challenging bah.. oh tell me abt no motivation.. i m a dead duck.. my moti is almost 0 lor.. we shld organise some study session sometime.. i seriously cant study alone!! den again.. u are e study alone type.. :p

todae.. yest.. Seans birthday... and yf camp..

i so wanna change blogskin getting bored of white le... :-p another wasted day again.. and today dun feel like christmas eve's eve lol... :-p

k.. so im finally able to get down to blogging.. crap i juz hav too much to say until i dun tink i can remember all... haha.. ok.. now im gonna start with e most recent things 1st.. den work backwords..

wah lao.. wah lao.. im surprised tt someone(which is best i dun reveal who) is in some inter jc beauty pageant lah.. i was like WHAT!!!! are u serious... i mean nt tt shes nt pretty or something.. its juz tt.. wah lao.. i wonder what wld her parents reaction be... i mean.. do they even noe????!!! im quite sure they might flip lor noeing em(sorta).. i mean... why wld she wanna join tis kinda thing in e 1st place.. lolz... but i tink she stands a gd chance of winning it though.. :-p

ok.. now for last nite(sorta).. it was a great nite of singing.. hmm.. although i wun say e choir ish very gd... but its nt abt e standards bah... hmm... ok brief runthru of e day.. in e afternoon go cerebral palsy centre to perform.. den later go jason's place... woah.. at 1st abit shocked to see e ppl at e centre cos i wasnt realli mentally prepared so to speak..... but den.. it was great.. i wld say they are one e best audiences i had... e sharing later at jason's place kinda made me tink of alot of things... hearing alot of ppl share they're learning pointers were realli like challenging and awakening.. haha... until i wanted to find some time to consolidate my thoughts.. kinda felt emo also cos my tired.. haha... oh well... e greatest thing frm e centre was hearing Richard(whos 1 of e patients at e centre) share his testimony... seriously encouraging.. yet challenging lor.. i mean when he was talking he was so emotional tt he was like tearing lor.. den u noe.. i feel quite dum.. cos at 1st i felt quite touched and emotional too... but den i didnt realli realized it and was like whats tis feeling... lol... den later realized my sis and someone else(better not tell everyone who she is.. nt gd bah...) who was listening at a corner.. was tearing too.. lol... i thought she was so listening so attentively too lor... den she tear i was like ultra shock.. second time i see her tear in weeks... whn i hav never seen it before... anyway.. my sis also lah.. so emotional.. lol...

crap my draft got deleted my firefox not responded den i restarted it!!! grr.. i typed a lot one leh.. ok dun care juz type impt point 1st.. so late le.. ok..

e mime was great... cheryl is very gd.. :-p

i still hav some introversion in me.. thurs i was seeing ppl happily taling away den i juz wanted to shun away... i feel stronger when ppl are down.. at yf camp i was very stressed and ppl gave me black face den i was on e verge of breaking down during yf camp.. but when ppl did so before me.. i felt stregthen to not do so...

i wonder when e situation will end at hm.. since thurs ive been trying.. but den i hav sunk close to e dark side..

i hate tt feeling in me.. juz wanting to be arnd... maybe what my sis said is true... and i feel so cos of tt.. but.. i wish it wasnt... but God will lead.. im putting it all in His hands..

i wish what i feel is true...

grr.. i typed so much juz nw nw hav to resort to pointss.. grr.. *angry* *angry*

ok.. e rest nxt time...

So srry.../But God will lead...

Seeing tt sad expression frm her face… seeing those tears rolling down her eyes… I realize tt shes human too… and tt I do nt treat her as how I treat every other… she is e only one I forever forget to do what I so strongly hold onto… Seeing her breakdown… it juz occurred to me tt oh crap… tis is my weakness… I wld say a gd weakness.. at least I sorta noe I hav to end it… She used to be strong… actually too strong for my liking... tt I hold no barriers… and always e one breaking down is me anyway… cos I dun get e things I want… so she juz stay strong… today.. I was initially thinking.. woah.. she actually didn’t give in even though its 1v3… However… I didn’t expect her to give in in this manner… maybe it’s an emergency secret weapon.. I dunno… but less than 5 min later… shes back to her own fiery self again… and wad do I do… do wad I always do everyday pinky…

Like I can tell her umpteen times,,, which I dun noe whether its gd or bad… correct or nt… I totally dun agree to her authoritarian methods of doing things…. Its true tt we dun do things as we shld… its true tt she is e head… at least for mine… but its nt true tt she hold onto her so called caring… I noe u care… but u noe… we actually sometimes prefer if u dun care… cos its suffocating to be so caring…but pls.. why cant u give in… why do u insist… on things which hav isn’t as unsafe as u tink it is… I do not understand… tts why I fight… I fight for what I strongly believe in.. I fight for what I called its rights… freedom… I noe its never never right… but I cant bear to let it go… im juz unwilling to bow down to ur decisions… I cant bear to say ok I obey… like adrain said.. we’r e both stubborn… yet really… its my stumbling stone… but can I say im willing to bow down… no I cant… I wish I cld… but i….
i…
really am nt willing to…
den how…
haiz…

same for studies… u noe I feel so glad… in a way.. tt I hav a grp of frens pushing me forward to study… Adrian ben and yuan wld be like.. study hard.. go study… yada yada yada.. but e moment I hear tt word… I don’t like it… actually I hate… its something im unwilling to do… its something tt spoils my relationships… it was taboo for e past 2 months virtually for me… sorta… I noe I shld… I noe I shld.. but I cant want it… it stresses me.. it brings me lotsa bad memories and pain…oh.. bad memories.. really ouch when I tink abt it… haiz… I can remember e 2 weeks before promos.. it virtually killed me… what can I do… I noe tt it is a duty… it is a responsibility… it is a means to get something I want…. it is a means to draw closer to… I pray everytime before I study… BUT.. I seriously cant want it bad enuf.. blame it on my character.. whatever… its still me… and I juz cant accept it… I hav no zeal in something I never believe in… I dislike e mainstream idea tt studies is impt… I noe they say ill live to regret it one day.. but I hav no wish to be rich… or anything to be known with blessed with material wealth… I juz want to be average.. tt average person… living in my comfort zone…foolish e world will call me.. foolish I will say they are… but for me to even to learn to do e basic.. its still hard.. I guess for me.. its either my everything… or nothing… tts how I wrk I guess… I never like in between….ill give my everthing for things I believe in… im kinda lost where am I now.. lol.. anyway.. Adrian says im distracted… and yes… I wish I wasn’t… but anyway… distracted frm what? Studying??? I never was… I never focused.. how to be distracted?

Anyway… pls wait… I gotta sort myself up… for how long? I dunno… but God will lead… wadever tt I cant change in my life now.. God will lead.. its nt possible? God will lead… even if its nt true… God will lead…

How I wish… nah.. theres no past for us to go back to.. cos we are always like tt.. rather to wish for something impossible.. is for us to stop argueing… Stop maybe nt… but relationship to improve? God will lead… nt by juz mere words I noe… but by actions too.. actions in faith tt God is leading…

Srry.. as u can see im still nt in e state to blog abt youth camp… haiz.. drag drag drag I m…

Like I said.. dun do tt in front of me… I cant take it either… being an esfp.. ppls emotions afftect me a lot…

If its true.. God will Lead….

I Could Sing Of Your Love
by Jars Of Clay

tis song happen to be playing nw.. and is one of my fav… and it kinda reminded me..

Emo song at e rite time… :-p e non stop rain e last few days seems like is meant for me… So cold e weather.. So cold it is within e hse…

Personality tests... :-p

crap.. i tink i sound and i thought i wld be an esfj.. but i double check and im an esfp... lol... im a performer.. a clown.. haha.. :-p i am grp as "sensation seeking" temperament.. haha... but den again.. e attraction for relationships like super true lah.. haha.. go read at http://www.personalitypage.com/ESFP.html
http://www.personalitypage.com/ESFP_rel.html
these are some excerpts..

ESFPs love people, and everybody loves an ESFP. One of their greatest gifts is their general acceptance of everyone. They are upbeat and enthusiastic, and genuinely like almost everybody. An ESFP is unfailingly warm and generous with their friends, and they generally treat everyone as a friend. However, once crosesed, an ESFP is likely to make a very strong and stubborn judgment against the person who crossed them. They are capable of deep dislike in such a situation.

The ESFP under a great deal of stress gets overwhelmed with negatives thoughts and possibilities. As an optimistic individual who lives in the world of possibilities, negative possibilities do not sit well with them. In an effort to combat these thoughts, they're likely to come up with simple, global statements to explain away the problem. These simplistic explanations may or may not truly get to the nature of the issue, but they serve the ESFP well by allowing them to get over it.

tis is like crap.. hit e nail lor... so zhun.. haha... The ESFP who augments their ability to recognize opportunities (Extraverted Sensing) with a strong internal value system (Intoverted Feeling) will find themselves more likely to attract, and be attracted into, very rewarding relationships with others - particularly with those of the opposite gender.

May be overbearing in their judgements upon the taste and dress of others.

eh.. crap.. but another website say im an esfj.. but when i read abt j its like nt possible lah... im confused... someone help me... :-(

You Are 100% Extrovert, 0% Introvert

You are as outgoing as they come The life of the party, you're friends with everyone You're a people person, and you are quite the entertainer You love being around a crowd and acting spontaneously

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

Woah.. tis is a big change frm e past... i used to be 50 50 like less than a year ago.. haha... :-p

Your Brain is 53% Female, 47% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

abt 50 50... gd or bad i dun noe.. woo.. joash more feminine than me.. haha.. :-p

You Are 60% Gentleman

Generally you act like a gentleman, but sometimes you're careless with your manners. Most people know that you're trying your best - and that's usually good enough.

Are You A Gentleman?

not gentleman enuf am i... haha... :-p

You Are A Realistic Romantic

It's easy for you to get swept away by romance... But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective. You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

haha... makes sense... haha.. :-p

You Are 45% Perfectionist

No one would call you a perfectionist, but you definitely have a side of you that strives to be perfect. Try to see your mistakes as learning experiences, and don't be so hard on yourself when you screw up!

Are You a Perfectionist?

haha.. yup quite agree too.. :-p

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have low conscientiousness. Impulsive and off the wall, you don't take life too seriously. Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions. Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it's difficult for you to get important things done. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

dun make sense.. haha.. moderate everything... :-p

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is low. You've probably either had only one relationship.. Or all of your relationships have been very similar. You still have a lot to learn... and a lot to try! Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

The Five Variable Love Test

tis is lame.. :-p

You Are 26% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

okey.. so be wary of me den.. :-p

You Are 54% Grown Up, 46% Kid

You've grown up a good bit, but you still have a way to go before you're emotionally mature. You have the skills to control your emotions, you just have to use them.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

ok fine.. lol..

You Are Superman

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. And pretty cute too. No wonder you're the most popular superhero ever!

What Superhero Are You?

You Are Smokin' Hot

You're a terrible flirt, a sharp dresser, and a party animal. Of course, you're totally sizzling too. And for you, being hot just comes naturally.

Are You Hot?

lol.. dun ask me why... i dun noe either... :-p

Your Observation Skills Get A B-

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

Your EQ is 127

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

im not worthy... for everything... i turned away frm u..

im juz not worthy..
not worthy of u
not worthy of U..
i cant help..
but live in a diff world frm u..
yet cos i m turning away...
turning away frm U...
i said things..
im not supposed to...
i detest studies..
and was slack to do..
den u come..
driving me to...
becos of tt..
i allow myself..
to turn away frm U..
i hate what ive done..
but its done to U..
why do i need to go?
since ive turned away frm U..
yet cos im thinking of u..
what can i do?
how am i gonna face U..
for what ive done is not worthy of U..
pls..
forgive me..
and bring me back to U...

Youth camp tmr!!!

hmm.. somehow tis year i dun realli look forward to youth camp tt much... maybe im kinda burnout by e many things i gotta do... oh well... still... even if i might have a choice of something else.. or juz dun go.. i wld still wanna go no matter what... :-p well.. tts juz how i feel tis year... i still love tis comfort zone of mine.. juz tt tis year.. its like.. no hens.. no ben.. no adrian.. no rui(almoz.. but he never realli cld make it anyway).. yea.. and like last year.. im seemingly one of e oldest again.. but oh well.. its ok.. looking at e program tis year.. it looks real great fun though... ^^

sometimes i feel tt... im endlessly struggling with something i cld prevent... or not struggle with...

haiz... my relationship with my mum is really rocky now... i juz dun feel like comin hm anymore...

comin hm reminds me of things i dun wan to think of..

its my kinda escape route i guess...

i hav a kinda feeling tt i realli might turn abit D somehow... oh well...

love my new hairstyle lah... although abit beng plus if i wear my ichigo necklace.. look chao ah beng.. but its still very nice.. shld hav cut it a week earlier.. den dun hav to go melaka wth my dum long hair.. lol...

wun blog bah for e next week im off for camp today again... see u guys when im back... ^^

k now im abit unhappy realizing they go sentosa without telling me although its cos my line is down but still sian diao... i cld have still gone lor today... haiz.. like i said.. u all owe me one.. during e hol muz go again... :-p

relationships... frens.. characters... all real complicated issues...

im back frm melacca... it was nt bad i wld say.. 1st day performance was gd.. 2nd performance on our syf song wasnt as gd... but oh well.... technically i think i didnt gain much... suppossed to look for teacher for help but ended up nt having e opportunity to... but as a choir i tink we did gain abit... oh well...

vj is damn gd.. esp e tenors.. they are my targets man.. juz wanna be like em someday... maybe nt a tenor but... juz tt sound quality wld be realli realli great... :-p

our choir are actually nt very bonded i wld say... fun at times it may be... e males and females are a big barrier... cos of how a choir functions... den u get some ppl outcasting ppl... disliking ppl... all nt interested in making things happen bt juz say sian... tts what happen on e suppossedly anticipated fun nite on e last nite.. plus drinkers.. its quite sad tt most went to slp arnd 3 already... e other 2 nites were worse.. except till we got down to do something on e 2nd nite which made it fun... but i wld say e bonding is quite sad... haiz...

oh a word of caution.. im emo now...

well... nt tt i didnt take much frm tis hol.. e beds were damn shiok.... u noe what.. i never knew miss lim was a christian too.. i knew mr ling is.. but wow... we did qt together cos abel initiated it... and it was a great time cos i became way closer to e teachers den gotta tok to em abt alot of stuff... amazing.. i thank God for em... cos i noe im in safe hands... ^^ guess what.. mr ling started a prayer meeting some tie ago in mj... i was like wow... and im thinking of joining up with em... woah.. gotta tok to andrew abt it... but finally... cld relieve quite abt of tis heavy wrry of my shoulders...
Thank God... =)

talked to bernard alot today.. on our way back to sg together... bernard is quite a great person to tok too... and i juz thought i wanna siam e guys cos like we were saying.. juz playmates but nt ones who wld like to share stuff... soulmates he wld term it... seems like i hav become one who is driven frm chit chatting... juz want to do so everyday doing e trip... but haiz... guys being guys.. oh well.. we juz were crazily having fun lor... we were crazy e past few days... ok.. i wld say e guys are all almoz super bonded now... we like bought e same shirt(almoz) we each bought a damn cool necklace.. which all look similar.. juz tt some is bleach and some is naruto.. e naruto ones were cute and e bleach ones were cool... i got ichigo... cool man... damn nice... :-p like bernard said.. zhi qian is gonna be jealous... :-p furthermore.. i bought ichigo's bankai sword keychain... super nice lah.. e one kenn hav... shiok man... i also bought a diesel jeans.. cool... :-p but back to e guys.. we are all super great "playmates"... :-p

and back to bernard.. we were sort of gossipping alot.. talking abt ppl's character.. our class ppl.. choir ppl... hes super horoscope crazy lor... go arnd ask ppl.. whats ur horoscope... lol... it was realli great lah talking to him... and i was able to share some things with him... although we hav diff char... its great to talk abt these char stuffs... u noe i thought i was(or ppl think i am) thinking too much saying tt someone in our class likes another... but for e 1st time.. someone actually pointed out to me e same thing lah.. i was like.. ya... me too... i always thought so but other ppl never say anithing lor... well.. e other more popular gossips he seem to be very gd at deciphering how true they are too... cos i noe some things... haha... :-p hes quite amazing also lor although he dont show it... :-p

i juz dun understand why some ppl juz wanna outcast him lah... hes juz abit unusual but hes nt tt bad lor... juz dun like e fact tt ppl do so... i regret tt at times i sortof participate in it too.. srry fren...

oh... i tink i said quite a few bad things in tis trip.. it juz spilled frm my mouth... like bleahhss~~.. haha...

i wish we were better frens... i juz always feel tt i want to chat with u.... but well.. u built tt barrier.. and am afraid of giving ppl e wrong idea too... and sometimes dun noe what to or actually hav nothin to say.. juz wanna chat.... well... no one else seems close enuf to open up to e idea of chit chatting too.. well.. maybe cos i noe tt we can chat.. so often want to do so...

tts what happenned to me and bernard... once we stopped chatting awhile cos he was abit "off" and wanted to "sing" i was like.. lol.. i juz love talking chatting with ppl nowadays... a few ppl kinda chit chat... rocks...

i love e sound of silence alot... with some background music by nature is gd... everytime walkin down e corridors... i wld juz feel like pausing and staring at e dark sky.. i did tt a few times.. but juz wish i cld do it longer.. even better if i cld chat with somebody while looking up to e skies... but well finding tt somebody or somebodies is hard... :-p so what to do..

emo songs are playin now so.. lol... fixed my blog errors... dunno who touched my blog.. lol... oh photos.. wanna put alot up... but.. haven took it frm frens yet and lazy to take e photos of my new stuffs cos gotta wake up early so will do it another time... oh gotta remember to look for jackson and john to meet up... old buddies frm 1st 3 months... ok done with bloggin... ciaoz...

Off to melaka for master class and performance till 7th dec/ boring and sad week....

tis week was kinda waste time and sad.. dun remember what happenned e past week except for choir day camp on tues.. as long as i can remember... only tt was fun.. and choir chalet on thurs nite.. until something happenned... yest yf was almoz a waste of time seriously... sent 2 ppl off tt day too... qiang in e morn and low at nite... gonna miss both of em... although im gonna miss qiang lots more lah... cos hes going for 4 months lor... den comm only left me and rui 2 guys... den some of his duties are given to me... :-( but gonna miss him and nt cos i got his duties...

Goin to malacca for master class and performance till 7th dec... hopefully it can be enjoyable and i can gain much frm e masterclass.. although im afraid tt if something still continues it wun be tt enjoyable... haiz... hopefully it changes... =)

so... till im back... im off... packing and writing something... *hush* *hush* =)

i didnt expect to see u todae... so was kinda like dunno what to do... and i juz ended up nt talking or even looking at u... so srry abt tt.... cos i fear of making e same mistakes.. so wanted to siam for awhile... was juz afraid...

al told me an interesting story abt how his poly fren had a relationship becos they intially had tt kinda relationship.. tts why i say...

lol.. i never knew i treated someone like tt.... i guess i see my problem and how i caused someone to be unhappy... my bad my bad.... i gotta change it....

it was like almost e shock of my life lah...

hopefully it doesnt stay tis way....

gotta change gotta change....

realli realli srry...

Made someone damn pissed todae… juz I guess… srry lah… didn’t tink of e consequences… oh well.. tts juz how I am… what did I tell u abt me actually being abit crazy tis few days… lol…

Kinda sad I did something so stupid which kinda soured relationships… tsk… Its like sian diao…

Haha… juz nw on my way back was talking to lixian gossips and stuff… den she was like asking me whether I like someone… haha… I was damn surprised she said she thought I like someone… I wanted to laugh my head off lah… lol… quite stun but ya.. but however like I said.. now is sian diao le…

U noe ah… im quite sure of something tt I can yi ren tou dan bao… lol…

Guess its true but it’s a 1-sided “gd-fren” friendship bah…

Tis is life…

U noe ah… I really am ill-fated with ppl with similar characters…. Todae met xiao xuan for e 1^st time in probably 3~4 months excluding e time I saw her in a foodcourt… she juz really hav e very similar char like me but it always seem tt they cant be my gd frens… most of my gd frens dun hav similar chars… juz loads of common interests.. lol… I miss xx lots… :-p too bad shi you yuan wu fen.. lol… haha… anyhow use… hopefully she remembers to organise an outing with e exco or something… :-p

If its possible.. I hope it cease to exist… really shldnt care le…

Haha…oh did I mention abt my new found “sister” Angela? Haiya actually todae I no more mood to talk too much but well going to say it sooner or later so my as well do it now.. haha… ok it goes like tis… I always noe she existed… lol… shes frm my sch.. frm e same 2^nd intake temporary og for 2 days… shes frm dunman sec( where quite a few current frens are frm).. she is also a inter hse badminton participant with me in e same hse.. now fellow ogls… but only during ogl camp was e 1^st time I spoke to her in e 7 months I knew her.. lol… damn funny can cos in e past I didn’t bother speaking to her cos its like didn’t bother too cos all really short meetings which didn’t require us to communicate so didn’t… but however during e ogl camp I sat nxt to her during 1 meeting… den juz talked to her abit.. den cos I saw her on doulos(a ship tt came to Singapore which sells Christian bks and stuff) so like randomly said hey say u there.. u go there for what kinda thing cos I initially thought she wasn’t a Christian(my fren told me so.. :-p) den she said noe den tok tok tok talk abt e church we came frm den she said she grew up in my church…… den I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!! she too… =) in e end talked more found out she was frm our Chinese service which is actually a diff church but using our building for all these years… lol… so yea… all a mistake actually… well.. but den we started toking quite abit… den she wanted to visit her “old church” someday and I can help her find out(cos at my church building mah… :-p) so.. in a sense… we suddenly became like overnite gd frens… like we actually are gd frens for these past 7 months or so.. haha… funny… tt explains why we are seemingly quite close now… :-p nt to be mistaken for anything else.. so ya… woah sian so long k done le… till next time…

Juz wanna say tis again…

Im really really srry… made u so worried and all… pls 4give me k?