I wish there is a shift delete function in my brain. I wish whenever certain thoughts bother me i could delete them. Whether it is the old one which i am so iritated about, or maybe even just certain thoughts. But at least these thoughts teach me to be persevering and strong, and to learn that i must deal with them- within me, by God's strength and with Him. Furthermore, the reminder also that where is my treasure? Do i seek the things of this earth, or the things above? Its easier said than done. These problems always trouble me. But i just have to persevere.

And i have to really watch my words, the way i always "rebuke" people and get into heated arguments- thats what people think i always do when im not. I guess its my tone. But ya.

And im quick to anger when others are unfair. Especially to a certain group of ppl.

Go away, irritating thoughts.

The same end. The hidden.

Realizations struck me. Things became more and more apparent. The truth hurts. But i guess the truth is the truth. The deception of the heart, distorted the mind, and affected the will. Amid all these sinful few days of personal troubles, the climax sums it all. All my biggest troubles hit me at once. But i guess this hurts me the most. I wanted to dwell and succumb to sorrowness. The mask could hardly hold on. I just wanted to sit there. To stare blankly and reminiscence all that has passed by me. The final blow- the deceived perception i have on things the past 1 year and 5 months, truly was, interpreted the way, i wanted to read it. The image was, the image i wanted to portray. Not forgetting the troubles of the past few days caused by my 2 main weaknesses. Well, im trying very hard to let the former die as the clock ticks away. My only temporal solution was to take a nap and wake up with a brand new hollowmask, which will slowly die away again, then i'll repeat the process, till, the day its no longer the bane of my life. I just regret not heeding the advice that people made apparent to me. I continued sticking to this thought of mine. Just hoping....

Hoping...

Hoping, the world is the way i wanted it, not necessarily the way He wanted it.

But we all know, its His.

At least, in the midst of all these, i will still say, Thank God, that He has a will and purpose for me, the way i may not see it now.

We, the alien, believe in the "alien" righteousness of God, and I will not change my alien thinking. Aliens, unite, and let us continue in doing the work of God.

1Pe 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light:
1Pe 2:10 Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.
1Pe 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;
1Pe 2:12 Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.

A portion of scripture i wanted to share. From matthew 13:1-23

The Parable of the Sower

1That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea.2And great crowds gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat down. And the whole crowd stood on the beach.3And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow.4And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them.5Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil,6but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away.7Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them.8Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.9He who has ears, let him hear.”

The Purpose of the Parables

10Then the disciples came and said to him, “Why do you speak to them in parables?”11And he answered them, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given.12For to the one who has, more will be given, and he will have an abundance, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.13This is why I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand.14Indeed, in their case the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled that says:

“‘You will indeed hear but never understand,
and you will indeed see but never perceive.
15For this people's heart has grown dull,
and with their ears they can barely hear,
and their eyes they have closed,
lest they should see with their eyes
and hear with their ears
and understand with their heart
and turn, and I would heal them.’

16But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.17Truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
The Parable of the Sower Explained

18“Hear then the parable of the sower:19When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the path.20As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy,21yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. 22As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.23As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.”

To my dearly beloved, I hope the word of God will impact your thinking, just like the one who was sown on good soil, hears the word, and understands it. It is so easy for us to settle for the 3rd kind of seeds.But we know, we shouldnt. I hope you'll apply this to your daily life, living it out, thinking out loud.

I'll never forget, the Greatest Thing.

"Thank God It's Friday" event plus area retreat

Surprise surprise. I havent blog for almost a month- probably unthinkable a couple of months ago. Oh well. I guess in army you'll expect to see more of this.

Part 1: Rambles
I wish i would stop thinking of these things. But i guess plus being very tired and all especially during retreat makes me very vulnerable to these thoughts, like negative ones. I was just wondering to myself, i guess i am really a lazy person. Certain things that i lack that i feel that i cant take up responsibilities, like doing what they did the other day, being so hardworking and sacrificial in certain things. At least I never ever went to that extent ever in my life.

And those CERTAIN other things that always bother me, especially recently when i start to have inclinations and i start to question myself more. The inclinations especially are causing me great problems. Well, thoughts certainly kill me too.

I guess like someone taught me, i am selfish. Honestly, im still putting self over others. Being "loving" to those that i would prefer to, and not even to all. Favouritism and inclinations!

Part 2: Thanksgiving
Thank God for the evangelistic event that occured on good fri. It is GREAT! Thank God that everything went very smoothly. Thank God the band did very well even though Jennifer had very painful sore throat, yet was able to sing well! Thank God for the skit peeps, which i am part of, that we did very well, i would say better than even in practice, especially since we didnt practice much! Thank God for abi that she did such a good job in the organisation and ensuring everything went smoothly, yet dealing with the stress really well! Didnt seem she was stressed at all! Thank God for the MC ppl, Ernest, Christie and Sara, who did such a good job, especially their hard work as they were preparing till 4am the day before(or more like the morning before)! Thank God for all the people involved, Clarence the sound uncle, Wen Xin the admin in charge, Geraldine the food IC, of course Ai Ling who was the head/advisor over abi ensuring everything went well etc! Thank God for all the area team members and volunteers for calling up ppl the night before, ensuring that as many youths can get to hear the gospel as possible! Truly so much to thank God for!

Thank God for the retreat the past few days, from thurs till today! Though i would say, i wish i got alot more interaction and you know those ice breaker kinda games cause we didnt really have alot of time for those plus i always happen to miss them, like bbq cause i went for Qiang's 21st Birthday. So i was kinda disappointed but i guess it was still quite a good time! The place i stayed was cool just that i didnt have time to stay there long or use the facilities there, especially the gym and the pool! I guess this is my very last retreat till army le. =(

Oh and Thank God for 21 years of life that God has granted Qiang with!

Thank God for combined yf with Grace Bp last sat!

Im stopping work in slightly over 1 week! Kinda abrupt end. Well at least i can look forward to crab dinner at da lao ban's place this coming fri! Hopefully fellowship and games too! =)

Oh yea better contact my students soon. :-p

I love this song that the band practiced for our event. I see Love. Truly, a great song, to tell us, about God's Love for us.

I See Love
Third Day
Soundtrack from Passion Of the Christ

Some see a teacher
Standing on a hill
Speaking words of wisdom
Some see a healer
Reaching out his hand
To give sight to a blind man
Some see a dreamer
Wasting his life
On what can never be
Some see a fool
Dying for his dreams

But I see love (I see love)
I see love (I see love)
Light of heaven breaking through
Well I see grace (I see grace)
I see God's face (I See Gods face)
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
I see love

Some see a prisoner
Alone before his judge
With no one to defend him
Some see a victim
Beaten and abused
With all the world against him
Some see a martyr
Carrying his cross
For what he believes
Some see a hero
Who set his people free

But I see love (I see love)
I see love (I see love)
Light of heaven breaking through
Well I see grace (I see grace)
I see God's face (I See Gods face)
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you

With your last breath
I see love
Through your death
I see love
I see peace in the eyes of the king
I see hope in your suffering (I see love)
I see a calm in the center of the storm
I see a Saviour

I see love
I see love
Light of heaven breaking through (heaven breaking through)
I see grace
I see God's face
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
I see love
When I see you
I see heaven breaking through
See Gods face
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
I see love
I see love
When I see

Some see Him walking from an empty grave

Results tmr! Pray for me! If you want me to tell you drop me a msg. i will say once i settle down esp if its bad. :-p