Whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ

I kinda dislike not penning certain thoughts down. So here goes.

Its kinda interesting to see Toe change. Suddenly being so practical and thrifty, always thinking abt saving money, claiming to be influenced by Deb. Then we somehow talked till he commented that jia jia is increasingly wearing shorter skirts, abt JC, and about RJ being a crazy promoter of clubbing, claiming that Rj has so many events which involves clubs, and you really need strong values to resist them( Oh it was cause he was telling thambi not to club). And thus seeing his values on clubbing after being overseas. Haha. Oh well.

Oh, this is even more random. My sense of beauty is so skewed by people having long hair(obviously im talking abt females). Just ask my sis or even my childhood friends. I wonder whether its an adolescence thing that happened!

I guess life kinda seems meaningless for now- at least i have not found something meaningful to fill my time with. I don't know. I don't really look forward to weekdays even though its a new environment with new friends to make and ppl waiting to hear the gospel. Looking forward to weeekends start to seem stupid- cause their rather dissapointing. When it funally comes, even when its a only halfway done on a sat, i'm like ok, so what. Yf ok so what. Sun ok so what. I guess i should start doing things with more purpose in mind rather than going through the routine. Rev Edmund Chan, was right. We are in an age where we're so busy doing things but we so often forget why we do certain things. We think that we think alot, but in actual fact, we dont. We go through routines, have goals, without thinking through the true purpose and reason behind so many things we do. Ben reminded me on this. Haha. And we talked about success. Haha. And its quite interesting to be reminded that, all our talents, successes, achievements, good results, are nothing but FILTHY RAGS in God's eyes. They are nothing to Him. Simply, God doesn't want us to think of seeking to do well for Him in results, in achievements. He wants our service. He wants our praise. He wants our life, our life surrended to Him. This beautiful verses came to mind.

Php 3:7 But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
Php 3:8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ
Php 3:9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith--
Php 3:10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,
Php 3:11 that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
Php 3:12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.
Php 3:13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,
Php 3:14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Php 3:15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.
Php 3:16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained.
Php 3:17 Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.
Php 3:18 For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ.
Php 3:19 Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.
Php 3:20 But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,
Php 3:21 who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

Do you know what it means to count everything we have, as a lost for Christ? It is a mindset/ motives rather than the outcome. All we do, is for Him. Nothing else! Surrender All! Why focus on doing well, on achieving something, than giving those up, and do things for His kingdom. Thats what Jesus' disciples did. They took their cross and followed Him. What are we doing? Are we truly going through our daily lives for Him? Or merely He someone who we should love, should learn more about, but forget that, in everthing, is for His glorification. Even the little conversations. Even the little actions. Even the way we spend our time.

Sorry this coincides with some personal self reflection than having much relation to others. I'm thinking through certain things. I feel like i have a point to prove, than a loss for Christ to give. Of course all the talk of fulfilling responsibilities comes in. Thats true. Balance is impt. I'm just pondering over what Jesus said giving it all up for His sake. Like i was talking with Adrian. This world has became a narcissictic society. So much that we do revolves around us and self glorification/ self love rather than Him and His sake. I have tendency to look at others and say yes many do not seem like they try. But i look at myself and i know how much i fail myself too. I think my motivation of a point to prove is wrong. But its more complicated than that. And i need to think through with lotsof of prayer and submitting to God(something i always forget to do) before i really decide on taking this step.

Oh sorry. All this also coincides with a personal problem with faith. Problems start piling especially for me not having spiritual disciplines to do QT and purposeful prayer. And before i know it, God is kinda distant again. So many reminders for myself. But i'm glad NISS is here to give me some purposeful things to start working on for QT and studying God's word everyday. Reminders about unclean talk/actions, and encouragements, even for others and myself. :)

Rom 14:14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean.

1Co 10:23 "All things are lawful," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful," but not all things build up.
1Co 10:24 Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.

Eph 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

1Th 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
1Th 5:12 We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you,
1Th 5:13 and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.
1Th 5:14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.
1Th 5:15 See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.
1Th 5:16 Rejoice always,
1Th 5:17 pray without ceasing,
1Th 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1Th 5:19 Do not quench the Spirit.
1Th 5:20 Do not despise prophecies,
1Th 5:21 but test everything; hold fast what is good.
1Th 5:22 Abstain from every form of evil.
1Th 5:23 Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
1Th 5:24 He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

Busy

If i told you i was me today, i wouldnt believe it, cause well i totally surprised myself today. I am kinda busy the past 2 days during work, but well cause i've barely learnt and am expected to do work cause my only other colleague in my dept was sick. On thurs i tried to do abit, but then from afternoon onwards i didnt do anything much le cause i was hoping he could help me today, cause i still dont know how to handle lots of the documents. And he is sick today again! Totally killed me. So i had work carried over from yesterday, so i had to do it all by myself while learning how to do it at the same time! I was so engrossed in work that i virtually didnt take any short break at all. Not even 5 min! Just go toilet at most. I had nothing in my mind. Nothing but just task task task and more tasks. And i was trying my best to be as productive as i can be so i was virtually rushing the whole time. All of them keep telling me dont stress but i wasnt. I was just trying to get work done.

Thats what shocked me while i think back. did I really enjoyed admin work so much? Did I kept on doing and doing without feeling tired or bored? Well, maybe cause i'm new. So reading all the documents, secret or not, quirks my interest. So, its still too early to say. Anyway i somehow cleared all my tasks but 1 which i couldnt. Then ppl helped me realized that most of the work does not need to be rushed out. Cause most of em aint impt. Even if i rush it out, it wont be read. Thinking back, there are lotsof docs that have circulating that have not been read, but yet are kinda old, like 2~3 weeks old? Even if i rushed it out, the leaders also wont see it today. Thus whats the use of completing all the work by myself so soon? Oh well. But haha maybe, i should consider becoming a clerk someday. Haha. I just like to finish everything also. At least i feel accomplished. =)

I never really liked doing this. Well maybe cause i dont like to be transparent about the things i do, unless someone asks then i would gladly tell, but i should explain how ive been having fun/wasting time the past 1and half weeks ya?

Today- Music Min

Yesterday/Thursday- slack

Wednesday- Informal birthday celebration for lydia with rachel at orchard. Both of them kept making fun of me of being a foreigner at orchard, totally not knowing so many restaurants or shops. We had a great night. Here's but 1 funny moment.

Joke of the week:
Useless background knowledge: Lydis comes back from the toilet after we finished our meal and half an hour of chilling out. We paid for her meal, but apparently wanted to ask her to ask for the bill. But too bad she say the bill booklet thing. Then we were like deciding where to go. Earlier rach was telling me to go TCC (The Coffee Connoisseur).

Lydia: So where we going nest?

Me(a slip of tongue): Rach suggested going TCS.

Lydia: TCS?

everyone: *laughs* (to watch serials? Lol. Cannot meh? Lol)

Lyd: Actually he's speaking the truth. Let's go The Coffee Shop(TCS).

*laughs* (which one? Lol.)

Anyway i tried my best to replicate what we said. Apparently it failed. Lol. Lets go TCS next time. :-p

Realized hoodies at topman is sold out, but i at least got 2 new simple shirts from Topman. They're simple, but its the style an image i wanna try. :-p

Tuesday- slack

Mon- Went to eat at AMK with Bernard before going to bugis to shop for half an hour? Lol.

Sat- Went to Far East myself to shop abit. Then went to eat at this super cool Korean restaurant at katong area with Heath. I tell you not only is the ambience good(i was seating on sofa's!), the food was wonderful too! Only regret is that i forget to bring a cam! Will want to come back again. Maybe next time i'll bring you all there. Its HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!! =) Then i chilled at Heath's house. Wah, his house is not extremely big, but its very nice. He said the design won some award or so. Lol. He has his own pool too. Then we went to watch "GET SMART". Movie's not bad. But most impt, i think you should keep my depressed friend Heath in your prayer! He is, depressed.

Last fri- Music Min. I tell you, dinner that day just made me miss home cooked so much.

Last thurs- Went to town to shop and browse all those ex brands. Lol.

I so still want get my grey jeans. Hoodies are increasingly slipping by my "Must Get ASAP" list. Lol.

Oh today's joke.

USeless background info: My chief clerk is a pretty 26 year old. Her name is chanelleShe's super thin, and to my surprise, she a mother of 2!!! -.- However shes a fierce workoholic, and complains all the time during lunch. This was lunch btw. She's apparently resigning already. I talked to her 2 on wed about leaving and she said havent found a job yet so can't resign. After hearing her resigning, this is what i asked.

Me: So where are you gonna work at after this?

chanelle: ST

Me: Strait times?

chanelle: Thats work at SPH!!! -.-

Lol. Its apparently Singapore Technology. Lol.

Ok random.

Sharings through verses from QT material.

Ok i decided to put this up here too.

"Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world,but let God transform you INWARDLY by a COMPLETE CHANGE of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God.
Romans 12:2 TEV


There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
1 Cor 10:13


Blessed are those who endure when they are tested. When they pass the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12 GWT


What makes you better than anyone else? What do you have that God hasn't given you? And if all you have is from God, why boast as though you have accomplished something on your own?
1 Cor 4:7 NLT


From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
Luke 12:48b NIV


LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away.
Psalms 39:4 NLT


So if you call God your Father, live your time as temporary residents on earth in fear. He is the God who judges all people by what they have done, and he doesn't play favorites.
1 peter 1:17 GWT


Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourself cozy in it. Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul.
1 peter 2:11 Mog


Those in frequent contact with the things of the world should make good use of them without becoming attached to them, for this world and all it contains will pass away.
1 Cor 7:31 NLT


So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Cor 4:18 NIV


You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world with every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and His ways.
James 4:4 Mog


These all(heroes of the faith) died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.
But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city.
Hebrews 11:13,16 KJV

In God's eyes, the greatest heroes of the faith are not those who achieve prosperity, power and success in this life, but those who treat this life as a temporary assignment and serve faithfully, expecting their promised reward in eternity.

I am so dead tired. Been having so much sleep debt over the past weeks sleeping between 4-6 hours everyday. Plus soccer was really draining cause havent ran so much for ages. Havent exercise much the past 2 months you see. Plus 1st day at new office tmr so gonna sleep like immediately after this.

This is to remind me i got a few posts i wanna do! but i'll not do it today. They're headings will be "blessed", "Fail to plan, plan to fail", and " Maturity". ok i forgot the rest i'll post when i remember.


Just some ramblings. Thinking back of the whole incident, rather than being unhappy at "ppl", its actually quite interesting to see that they REALLY believed it. But whatever.

I'm committing it all to God. He decides, and rest assured. I'll accept.

Hope you'll have a blessed birthday Lydia!

And Hi Jeremy! Please say Hi next time k? And tks for pang sehing me tmr! 2nd time in a matter of days from frens. Lol.

Shopping and understanding Brands

Was at orchard today. Oh man i really love shopping these days, especially since Bernard says its GSS. We went to Far East, Topman, Ethu(i think, some super ex shop at paragon), Zara, and Guess in about 1 and a half hours, mostly spent in topman cause i was this close to buying this almost pullover like jacket and a long sleeve body hugging tee. Thats $100. The only reason i didnt was cause we decided to shop around more again on sat just in case we might see better ones(and cheaper ones too). Sortof browsed through DKNY and Armani Jeans, to find out that my Armani jeans costs a few hundred dollars? And im wearing it like free. Lol. Oh i also found my Oakley sunglasses at Wisma and realized it costs $290. Wow. I didnt know i had such expensive apparels. And i kinda understand why ppl like shopping and all the materialism.

Well, other than those 2 clothings i mentioned, the other wants i have is a grey looking jeans( i am eyeing the one at esprit which is really nice looking). Probably gonna really spend time on Far East on sat, and also visit French Connection, more time in Zara too, Gap(which both Bernard and i agree that the only design that Gap has is the word gap on its shirts). Im kinda wondering why am i shopping with these dear classmate of mine when we have such different tastes. He has the very British fashion sense with the tendency to wear those british caps, waistcoats, and like super girly bags that girls wear on 1 side of their body? So gay i always tell him, but his style is just so British and topman like. But i guess cause he has great brand awareness and he likes shopping. So he'll be a good shopping buddy and an opportunity for us to catch up. He will always say lets go where and where after done browsing at a shop. Ok all the places we go can be really ex but its real nice to see all of em cause the clothings are really nice and i wish i could buy so many of em. Well he has spent about $500 since start of GSS. A $100 shirt and $100+ dollars bag from Zara are the highlights. I'm not as crazy as he is though.

MAn i'm letting vanity get to me. But its really fun shopping knowing you'll buy something to make yourself happy!

Here's what i'll likely buy( colours to differ) from topman.

Long sleeve body hugging tees

Hoodies

Sometimes i just love the small things that ppl tell me about. Whether it be:

"Oh, i forgot to take my cushion to sleep."

"Goodbye cya tmr!"

I just love the little things, which are too many in number to be mentioned. The more i hear, the better i understand. Im just so glad, Even just taking photos and seeing that rather amusing face in front of the camera! Probably my most fun initiation activity yet!

:)

Yay, at least i got 1! But i wished i had more. Im always in so little photos, but im not meant to be here anyway. Just had to suffice with just 1, out of the millions with others. :-p Haha but i find it so amusing, that my happiness could be paralleled to finding a body that scientists claims that proves evolution, when there should be millions of these bodies. There should be more than 1 right? Maybe im blinded. But oh well.

Though im part of neither exco's, I relish the opportunity to study God's word with the comm ppl. I was sharing with Ben how i enjoed studying God's word like that after the leadership session by Rui. Something else i didnt ell him is that, I think my role is quite suitable for me. I never liked being part of a planny committee. Super stressful. I am good only at spiritual directions and feedback that i can give. I would love to lead a ministry, especially since i have the passion for the youth worship ministry that i hope to lead to point people to God better. I think this love coincides with the newly discovered spiritual gifts, prophesy(preaching) and evangelism! I just hope God would give me the opportunity to during army! Of course im trying to prepare as much as possible. To study as much of his word as possible now that im so free. Just going to mug mug mug and read read read the whole day! Sounds like good training to me! ok this is for maybe only the next 2 weeks, but 2 weeks of intensive study through free time is better than none. My gift is not necessarily made for comm, but who can ask for more with gifts like prophesy, and maybe even knowledge? :)

Cause i'm seriously bothered, or not i wouldn't even say anything. Or i'll just encourage, but it isnt appropriate.

we drift into feeling that our daily lives are the product of our own efforts -Ravi Zecharias

From the Book:

The Grand Weaver: How God Shapes Us Through the Events of Our Lives
By Ravi Zecharias

Is this Reality?

Broken Promises & Shattered Dreams

Ok shattered dreams is a little overboard, but i dislike it when someone says something then doesnt keep to it. Then don't say it in the 1st place!!! I'm fine if you dont say you'll make time for dinner in the 1st place, and then next thing i know is.

No time.

And I find it how amusing that its noted in diaries and its possible to forget abt well wishes. Notice i'm amused not unhappy or angered.

Guess what day is it tmr.

But its just

Another boring day.

Nothing else other than calling it a special day.

Everyone's busy i guess.

Here's the good friends breakdown:

Cheryl- fully booked
Rui- fully occupied, with a dinner with the former
Tricia- Nothing but books. Exams coming la.
Kevin- SISPEC. In camp.
Rachel- In NZ without telling me until she was there.
Lydia- Back from US, but off to church camp already.
All the close bro & sis from YFC, like my team- No appointment made

Which leaves me with Heath and my army bunk buds. Well i made a last min reservation with Heath tonight for a dinner. Haha. Wonder who else is coming.

I am too free. And i need to make my time more useful. Volunteers anyone? only for this few weeks cause my schedule is uncertain for now.

I am loving the navy as to army. Free new clothing. New Beret, formal shoe, nicest office wear, nice looking navy running vest and FBT alike shorts. Thats what i call retail therapy. And almost all is free except the vest and "FBT" that i bought.

All it takes is (: and dinner out! =D

(:

(:

This is all it takes to brighten up a day. Ok maybe not the whole day. But it was so heartwarming to see this smiley at the start of a reply. Why so? cause it tells you that the 1st instinct when the person reads your message is one with a smile, and when it is conveyed back through a reply like that, it really brings such great joy! =D Just imagine. Someone reads your sms and smiles. Thats nice to know that i brought a smile to your face. Though actually, i would often smile when i read an sms, but i never did convey this emotion back. Receiving it is however, another thing all together also.

(:

Ok it takes more than that sometimes to make a day all joy the whole day. I was quite troubled this afternoon when certain things turned out the way it did. Thank God. He was faithful as i struggled with it. He sent a 2nd blessing. This time, just plain simple words. But it certainly did lighten up and squash any unhappiness that i had. Guess what was those words???

Anyway thank God!

But i need to continue with the long and dreading battle again sin. Must regain strength to fight again.

At least some things to sleep with tonight. =D

6th of June?

Waking up today with a splitting headache, tossing and turning on bed while waking up countless times, is the direct result from the thoughts in my mind i guess. I guess it was God's reminder from His word. I know it really bothers me, but i have to emerge victorious here 1st.

Come to think of it, i'm halfway there le! Yesh!!!

Its not long more.

Oh 6th of june passed. No wonder 6th of june was quite a good day. Its something about 6th of june.

Hmm.

Oh sorry last year's 6th was a great day that i'll never forget thats why.

But oh well. Moving on.

Something i learned along the walk. Keep walking ahead with the prize ahead of you. Don't look back cause they might cause you to stumble. Reminiscence does nothing more than stirring feelings. Just continue walking by trusting and relying on Him. Just walk.

Yea.

Church Camp 2008: Examine & Exemplify, and closer too!

Well. Church camp is worth every bit of my time and every bit of the penny and every bit of my trouble to get down there. After the 2 messages on the 3rd day(1st day for me), i felt so refreshed feeding on God's word. It felt real good i tell you. Especially on the 3rd and 4th message. It really striked me. Its something i really wanted to catch up on, not to mention all the catching up with ppl. My only qualm was how i spent my free time, but oh well. Church camp really was all God and fellowship. No complaints and regrets with regards to coming or not. I guess it was the best sleepless night also. Mostly did some "intellectual" discussions. Oh not to mention THE BEST Fun Night, the skit, the history, the kangaroo court. Man it was laughter till cramps and sore cheeks really. Though i felt awkwardly out of place, but it was ok. Took minimal photos. But being me, never liked taking photos. :-p Though was kinda like, should at least take some photos.

Church Camp was such a great time that i totally forgotten everything back in Sg. Rui and I was saying today how we are back to the routine of life, which was so forgotten during church camp. I guess the fellowship and thoughts and ppl really made me forget and not to worry abt things i was always thinking and worrying abt. Praise the Lord!

Did lotsa thinking also. Talked to Kee Wen for like 2 and a half hours lor. Final talk before he leaves. Haha. Talked about YF and stuff. Oh ya. And did alot of resolution thinking. On the YF. On personal spiritual disciplines and goal settings/plannings. Was glad i was able to share some of that to Cheryl, and also doing lotsof catch up after being a few months of little talking with each other. She's kinda MIA and at times so am I so it was great. =D

I have examined.

Its now time to exemplify.

But its just great, to also feel.

Closer again.