Hypocrite, motivation, and determination

Somehow, i just have so many regrets, that linger in my mind sometimes. Sometimes I try so hard to pay lip service, trying to encourage ppl abt the God i believe in, but yet in the same conversation, i can say things that will stumble others. Its just so hypocritical of me really. I realise that this will not only not encourage that person, but all the more stumble that person. I dunno. Sometimes i try too hard to encourage, but i must really learn to remain ilent at times.

Heard what i needed to hear from coach to affirm my suspicions. 100% out. The only solace is after coming back on wed after getting over my emotional problems, but well, after watching the videos and stories, i still think im very selfish of myself to think at the indiv level. I know i always lacked determination. I always am fine just playing and not winning. But hopefully, i really understand what it means to do my best for God, and be a testimony. Having the motivation to fight through all the stress and lack of time. Feels alot easier without emotional problems. I just think that, I can do it! :)


Of course, all this strength comes from God and through prayers, and pray that i will continue to rely on him more and more. And pray that, i will learn to listen, and say the right thing at the right time. I always have knowledge, but i lack wisdom. Seriously big time. Need to find more time to do ministry too. :)