u noe.. i wanted to say how happy and high i was today... e whole day.. or virtually till nite.. when 2 ppl hav to spoil it... sian... haha.. i wanted even to say tis when i was high tt.. sometimes id ratheer i dun get high or low... maybe not having fluctuating moments is better.. cos i cant realli do things anymore once i feel low... irritating...

lol... i didnt even noe alicia sorta left church.. talked to her abit and ya.. well.. wanted to help her abit also felt i cld not or rather... rather not.. i dun noe...

crap never call him again... dun tink i will call him le.. haiz..

didnt study much again.. spent quite a few hrs but didnt do much...

i cant stand but to see e so many ppl hav passed by my life... met alot of these ppl tonite when i start feeling low...
there was alicia(sortof).. den comes leon .. den jeremy kong.. both frm sch... den i met 2 of my old frens on e bus... lewis who was frm vs now in vj.. and matthew.. whom i was quite close with during e hols 2 years ago.. den slowly faded away after tt... hes in army now... even saw my ex hairdresser on e bus whom i went for quite a few times but stopped going there cos sortof had prob with e shop...(i juz remembered actually.. was wondering she looked very familiar.. thought she was a celebrity... lol...) haha.. tts how many... 6 ppl.. in tt short space of 10 15 min...
i appreciate every relationship i hav with em... but i wonder how many more i wld hav tis touch and go relationship... and to see em leave me and nt hav contact with em.. though actually 3 of em i dun rewalli noe em.. haha...

im ok.. emo thoughts.. very interesting actually... ppl who walked in my life... missed hens lots.. playin with him and stuff.. though i dun realli miss tis playin of sports so much anymore... i guess i see greater joy in doing other stuffs now... unlike e pass where i wld rather play than hav a gd chat.. nw i guess.. its quite diff...

oh.. wanted to say tis earlier.. was "lectured"(sorta) by my sis last nite.. some things she is more mature than me.. so.. gd... well.. i thought of some stuffs i wld want to do today.. or rather change.. haha.. stuff abt organisation and keeping track... hav to make sure i do it.. its very unme to start doing it.. but i guess growing and being a better servant wld require me to pick tis skills up sooner or later anyway.. so...

i guess it brings me 1 step closer...

like i always felt.. felt encouraged trying to help ppl today again... or at least wanting emowers me.. =)

interesting things to hear abt church tt l sortof always knew but never it wld cos ppl t much probs.. tt makes 2 who left.. will i still be here forever?? i dun noe.. i want to... as long as i live i guess.. but i guess i will follow as God leads.. =) been seeing alot of perspectives recently frm my narrow one... but everthing i hold dear is here so.. no chance.. not anywhere soon... hopefully never.. :-p haha enuf... yea spoke alot out again... gd gd.. =)