Weird

This is getting weirder and weirder and weirder. I totally feel weird mixing with church ppl! Its like i now only have a tendency to want to mix with 1 friend, because everyone else is just like superficial. But cannot la, cannot mix wth this fren too much cause dont want her to feel weird also expecially because of all the sequence of events. But doesnt help that everyone is like huh cannot connect and im mixing with random ppl superficially. Like going back with Chun Kit Shawn jamie is just really weird. And it really irritates me and bothers me when i cannot mix and talk crap with someone, like in table games. I wish kevin was from our church seriously. In the past there was yuan or hens and rui, but now its like huh super weird. I guess im a very individualistic person- i mix with ppl alone, and to only a certain few. Its very bad cause ill feel weird mixing with most other ppl all the time?

And i guess i've been very selfish today. VERY! I know it but i dont care? Bad la. And i should stick back to not using crude words again like "what the heck" anymore. I started to not bother cause Ben said that it is ok? So you know i thought yea ok maybe its fine, but i guess if ppl notice then its not fine anymore? Need to change, and my selfishness today too.

This is bad- im really not feeling comfortable mixing with most ppl! Gosh. I'm so sorry to Cheryl if ive been trying to mix with her alot but yea i feel somewhat at ease talking with her for now, but ill try not to mix too much!

Its good there are ppl like arthur- though we are of diff frequencies, at least we are concerned about each other! And Ben- must talk to Ben more!