Legalism, trying to get out of a black and white view of everything

Thank God for Ben! I guess Ben put our conversation there for Him to encourage me. Everything happens for a reason, and i guess what Ben said is so encouraging. I guess i was struggling with feeling discouraged by ppl. Feeling discouraged by relationships that has all but died. I think only a few ppl are left that bothers abt me, that we keep each other accountable for stuffs. It was so sad cause i met my group of JC classmates on sat. WHen they all saw me, they act as if they saw someone they didnt know. Only 1 fren was like talking to me. It's so saddening la. The group of fren's i used to hang out with?? Haiz. I guess hearing what ppl think abt me really discouraged me also. You know plus the things happening. The world suddenly became a pale black and white. Everything has lost its colour and joy. There is nothing to be glad abt suddenly. No meets up to look forward to. No ppl that seems of value. But Ben says this. He claims that he has a problem with everyone- every single person on this earth. If you look at man, you will definitely be discouraged. Billy Graham, possibly one of the greatest evangelist in the history of mankind, actually now claims that Buddha is Jesus Christ! He says that if any pastor/preacher/ppl you respect were to confess all their sins to you, you might be stumbled. Because we are great sinners. Paul calls himself the greatest of sinners! A man like Paul? Lol. Ppl can judge you all they like. But dont care, just strive to change, and not be affected by it. See it as God telling you that you're making this mistake, and change it, rather than be discouraged.

Then we talked abt this whole legalistic issue. Where ppl, especially in our church are so legalistic. We think if someone doing things like being a homo, surfing porn are big vices. Ppl can be told not to serve if they have a non christian gf. Why is this sin bigger than another? We should not stop someone from serving and seeking God. We respect ppl who are disciplined, just as if ill discipline is a big sin in God's eyes. Ben says, we are all equal. We are all saved by grace. Not by our works! Nobody is greater than another. A pastor's prayer is no greater than anyones. We should not look on works, on what we do, not judge one another. For we are all equal, saved by grace. We always talk abt not doing this sin, not doing that sin, its just like the pharisees. Where's the grace? WHere is Christ? We should not be so focused on filling our time, on service. Sometimes, God just wants to teach us a lesson of being dependant on Him, and not being legalistic abt trying to make full use of time doing so many things. Thats so Singaporean. When Jesus had free time, would He complain that he had too much free time and that He has to fins something to do to make full use of? God gives Him task as and when He pleases. Don't look at how we fail, but how we can improve for Christlikeness. Even if we're successful in whatever we do, its the same. Look towards Christlikeness in whatever you are doing, whether we are glorifying God in being successful. Aaron also says this, that its so Singaporean that if we do not do well in studies, its a big sin to God; or ill discipline? No not that we should continue in this, but why the greater emphasis over certain sin compared to others? I guess Ben was also trying to bring this across, about grater emphasis in certain things. Is not lying a sin too? God only says 2 commandments that are the greatest. Isnt the rest equal? Hope to find out more abt legalism from Ben, because it is so true that all of us has become so legalistic, especially in our church. I hope to change too. Look not on yourselves, on how we sin, but on the grace of God. If we focus on glorifying God in everything, we will definitely do the right things . If doing this does not glorify God but its just fulfilling our desires, then its not the right decision. If doing this glorifies God less than the other decision, it is definitely wrong.

I am still struggling with this hole in me. Give me time to heal. I will! I have confidence, confidence in God. God allows everything for a reason that will ultimately glorify Him, its just that i dont see it now. "Spiritual highness" just comes to nothing when things like this happens. But i'm learning to trust God in more things(which is supposed to be all things) and to surrender all to God in all things.

Are you seeking to glorify God in everything?