It bothers me till no end. It kills me to the point that i kept having facing the temptation of not continuing on with normal activities. I tried to persist the whole day. I tried to not let it bother me, but the thought of comparison, just makes me down again.

I dont know how i liked someone so bad when it was always my own imagination. Sheesh! I took my standpoint of making it obvious to keep others pure. I resisted so many times not letting others know., then when it did, it was totally too late. It was all timing- God's timing, that makes His ways so amazing. Though this time will be a big trial to me, only me, my fault, it is such a test for me. But i'm assured God does things in His sovereign way and timing. He allows things to happen for a reason. I know this is my "isaac" that i must lay down. I trust in his timing and His sovereignity- but i need to get over the painful emotion which is abit hard now. Give me time!

It kinda bothers me that i resisted telling you for so long and then you make the made the mistake of wanting to start a relationship? All my efforts has gone down the drain and what was i fighting for? Stupid really.

I dont want to lose the close friendship which is left to 2 or 3 now. Thats why i talk to you- i just dont want to lose the friendship.

I should stop talking abt this lest i stumble ppl le. All you need to know is i'm struggling badly. But yea its nobody else's fault and theres nothing you can do abt so. Shant talk abt it anymore in the future!