A Very Very Long Week

Wow. Look back at the past week, i couldn't believe it was JUST 1 WEEK!!! It was such a long week for me. Looking back and im like, wasnt that 2-3 weeks long? Lol. A crazy week. Things that has been bothering me so much. Waking up in pain. Thank God it all but lasted till somewhere around tuesday morning. I cant describe how painful waking up everyday before tuesday was. I dont quite understand though. I thought i had forgotten about it since it had happened some like 1 month ago. But hearing somethings is quite painful. I guess its because some ppl are going to make the mistakes i didnt want to make in the past 1 and a half years. Its like i suffered for so long and now you're going to make the same mistake. Tsk! No matter! They are ACCOUNTABLE TO GOD for it. I think i did the right thing even if it was just my wishful thinkings. I'm glad i did, no matter what. Not being proud, but its comforting i suffered for the right reasons. Haha. But happy it only lasted till Tues! Gosh these emotions really kills you and you just feel so negative like everything's black and white and boring and meaningless and blah blah.... Just glad normal me came back on thurs! Though im still trying hard to start to get down to doing work again. Sian.

Thank God for sufferings! It's during times like these that keeps us close to God. I kept reminding myself of God's word and it kept me through persevering, even though it seemed so hard to persevere at that point of time. It was time when suicidal thoughts could be entertained and life seemed utterly meaningless when ive been putting myself through other ppl's standards and having that as a motivation in certain things. I guess ever since Thurs when i felt better i felt abit more distant to God. WHOOPS!

Its not like i have totally lost all feelings. Sometimes reading somethings still brings some irritating feelings. But its ok. Soon it'll go too.

Someone once commented that i didnt even start a r/s and i loved so much. What happens when you get into one and broke up? Lol. I dont know man.

Read some notes on marriage from ben. Gave me some new ideas and guidelines on relationships. No sooner than a year after knowing the person.(sian) The male don't have to be the intellectual superior(ok thats diff) and alot of misconceptions on how we set our standards. Like the spiritual aspects: what is the proper standards and misconceptions. I cant remember all of em i must read again.

Went to island creamery on tues like finally! Bought a tub home and just finished it today! Brought Kevin to meet my church friends. Haha. I just feel so bad that he travelled with us to tamp on JM's car when he lives in katong and is rushing home. JM lah joke abt dropping debbie at city hall but didnt.

Been catching up with so many ppl recently. Caught up with my prayer buddy, Samuel when i was at YFC and finally talked to him ever since we went to BMT! We used to talk so much and pray 3 times a week for half an hour about everything! Caught up with Sab Tong on Fri! Think can catch up with Deb Tan this week! Deb Tan is like one of my 1st few friends in church and an old friend whom we often talked through smses but increasingly i havent bothered to talk to her especially since she's been MIA. Oh and finally got to talk to Jun Yuan 2 weeks ago. He was such a help to me when i just came to church and someone i really respected because he was the one who taught me the meaning of the Lord's prayer. I was just telling how i am so grateful for him in my life and even though he's been quite a lukewarm christian the past few years, God makes use of ppl no matter how small they are and he did play a part in helping me grow in my early years. Thank God for ppl. (sad things is, at the moment im trying to be postive abt all the ppl that dont seem impt at the moment!)

Braces are coming soon!

Haha. So like shocked by all the music min peeps when they heard i was going to conduct the choir. Haha. They all gave me THAT STARE! And Aunty Alicia and Aunty Dawn was like pretending to strangle me! haha. Trying to scare me obviously to instill fear in me when i was already am especially when i was prac with Aug earlier! I was growingly fearful especially talking to Aug just before the 1st prac.