Oh no. Headache is back again. Fever is back again from no fever this morning, afternoon= dengue!!! Sian. there is 1 thing i always regret not doing, or feel sian about, but im like, haiz. If only i can get over it.

Im in no mood to study especially plus the sickness thing and all. Zz.


I cant explain it, but im feeling unhappy. Well, ok im unhappy because this thought came to mind during service, contradictory to what was being preached, about loving one another, i was feeling unhappy about people who are not coming for yf, or will not be coming for yf for the coming months because of exams. Its a sudden thought, that i was like, ok i will understand if your exams are coming soon like 1-2 weeks before or like a month before a major exam. But its like, if its the next like few months, and everyone does that, we my as well disband yf, or make yf like from november to june. Then everyone goes for study break till their major exams end. For the next few months at least, it just seems despondent that people will not/are not likely to come. Im like fine lah, i also dont attend also lor. I also have major exams what. I can dont attend from now onwards what, and no one will blame me for doing the wrong thing anyway. Maybe its because i dont view studies very importantly, thats why. But im like, it just goes to show how important people view yf as a part of their life lah.

Ok maybe yf doesnt affect people's life the way it did to me. But im like, people are trying very hard to make yf enjoyable and yet help us to gain in interest in God's word, and be conformed to God's word, yet people are like not responding. I wonder why are we trying so hard for what lah. I understand why the old ones like to use the phrase "lets just disband yf". SO many can actually think that yf is not very beneficial, like they dont learn much and all. Yaya im sure if we disband it it doesnt make much of a difference also right. Its just a phase in life after all right. Im sorry i cant say anymore/ go into specifics about my unhappiness with people(ok yes im unhappy with people). Maybe im the type that do not understand the importance of studies i guess. Ok my unhappiness is misguided because i think it happens everywhere i guess its just that. Haiya. Sorry for my very unhappy thoughts. If you think you belong to the group of people i mentioned and you felt offended im sorry cause im just letting out most of my thoughts.

I guess its like what pastor said- i start to expect too much from people. And as God said- people will always fail you, and wont meet up to your expectations/needs. OK maybe cause im sick and im feeling despondent. So sorry. If you strongly disagree with what i said and feel that you should let me know you can always look me up. Im glad to hear it out.

OK im really fearing that i might have dengue cause my symptoms are similar to my mums and i have very very bad headache. Never so painful before. Its like i was have this pain in my head right, then every like now and then i would feel like someone would whack my head like that. A sudden severe pain that makes me abit groggy. I tell you, the pain is so unbearable until i cant sleep can. Plus i have fluctuating fever can- sometimes have sometimes dont have. Lol. And if i sleep i feel worse lor. My mum says its just like when she got dengue. If by tues this pain and fever dont go away its likely gg you all can come visit me in hospital liao. Lol.

Wah so pain lor. I tell you all its really unbearable. It almost feels like you rather kill yourself than to go through this pain kinda pain, if you get me. Its mad lah. And its at this kinda time that i really wish i could rely on others for support. Even sometimes my mum helps. :-p

Can someone help me make my fonts bigger? I just cant seem to make it bigger. Zz.