Struggling with sin

I have quite a few major struggle these days and i guess i really want/need help but i guess maybe only God can help me? Telling others is going to be not wasy, especially since now i dont get the opportunity to do so often. If it comes, i might say. But i think its not easy, and for now its God and me. Yet im struggling to find solace in solutions from God. I can ask God to help me so often but i guess i must learn to take action to do so but i still dont know how to.

I have problems finding joy in God's word alone. And im, like always seeking refuge in playing, but it actually doesn't help but rather eats away time just so that it can pass. I know that everything else is vain and is an empty vessel that can only be filled by God. But i guess i dont even think that God has helped with that empty vessel, thus i guess its so easy to run away from asking him for it, no matter how much i know he could. But it sortof feels like, it doesnt help?

Help, someone???

I dont know about you all, but i cant stand sinning. I cant stand it that you know that something is wrong and you keep doing it. It is such a struggle. You know i can struggle with it, then realize that suddenly snapped out of it and say lol this is so stupid why am i struggling with it. Then for awhile i can dont struggle with it. Not long later, i still can so easily succumb to it. You know how dum it feels. Lol. I know its so stupid lor. Zz.

Why do i always feel that im so free? Why am i free? i know that im always free. Free enough to do better stuff and make use of my time to do stuff(eg study), but i always just end up wasting time. I guess i have many responsibility, disciplinary, priority problems. Zz. And its so hard to change. Its so hard to change certain tendency to sin. I wanna learn how to make full use of my time. =( Its so irritating.