This is the reason i supposedly promised myself not to read, Pain! But oh wells, sometimes you just rather suffer through the pains for bigger gains.

Somehow, uncle henry is the new guy who always catches me stoning. Again, he went today, "Nick you ok anot" when i was going abt my usual stonings. Of course there is a reason i started stoning, getting lost in the things that bother me. And you just pull your thoughts back together and lie that you're fine? Haha.

Its interesting sitting there, just trying to curb the thoughts in my mind at 1 point. Telling myself hey stop wanting to do something. And again, it was a struggle.

"The truth shall set you free!" says the bible. But for my struggle, i just cant say the truth(ok it isnt the same truth). Because others knowing the truth doesnt solve matters. I know it doesnt, I assure you.

Somehow, i realized how much i have been missing from everyone's life, and its a vicious cycle. I just wish i was a bigger part of someones life, but i cant.

Because im in self protection mode. Not willing to be vulnerable as it already is.

So tmr's a brand new day, to wake up and forget and hope that these problems have left me.

Cause thats what im waiting for.

Believe me, it cant.