Thats why i told myself to stay away, but i didnt listen to myself- now i'm irritated by certain thoughts again. Spoiled my happy mood just about a few hours ago. Though its harsh, but it puts things back to perspective again.

Now its what i call happy and sad at the same time.

Sorry, always when i happen to blog its abt the same issues and its not very healthy thoughts.

But what someone told me, whom actually tried to help me with this problem for once, was actually really just to fight it through. Simple thing which i've been trying to do, but just reminds me that if its God i want to honour, he would take these emotions away from me, and help me keep my focus solely on Him.

I wish i have a mind eraser, or feelings eraser. But its something that makes me human i guess.

And just a food for thought to myself. The church is just like a family. My church is my family. Changes alot of perspectives on things.

I actually have alot to thank God for. He's been great i thank God for all the things that has been happenning, how i see GOd working through me, and lots more. I actually feel bad for a few hours only now which is good. No matter how bad i feel, i just tell myself to stay strong from strength from the Lord, remembering why i'm going through what i'm going through, all for a reason. I just want to give up these past few months, but i'm telling myself again, no i cant. I'll fight these feelings no matter how trying and how much turmoil it causes within me.

I love cards, am so encouraged by a few of em. Gonna find someplace to put them up. =D