Why God? *Struggles*

I was quite angry with God today. And it kinda made me fall asleep so easily today, even while standing in the train, which is the 1st for me! It keeps comin to mind. I was so unhappy with God because all these time i've been asking God for direction. Everytime i was abt to give up on this issue and think no its only a 1 sided thing, He always allows some event/talk/encounter to happen which dispels doubts/ reignites hopes again. I know it and He knows it better how this thing always happened. Whenever i asked for signs He gives it to me. Then when all these was resolved im like, were You lying to me all this time? I guess i was really unhappy that i felt He was the main culprit of mixed signals. Cause i always went back to ask Him, and He always answers. Now when all this has happened and passed, i looked back, from the very beginning this started, to the many events that occured, i just feel very bitter. Because i see Him working to make all these misunderstanding work! I'm like, if its a misunderstanding, how can it be from Him. Yet i'm very sure, I always looked to Him, and all these while the devil was replying me? Even up to today, it just seems like He still gives me the kinda answers i want, which at this stage, i wouldnt even wanna believe it. Took me some time at the end of the day to reconcile with Him. There is so many things i dont understand. But for 1 i know, God is sovereign, God is perfect, God is in control. He never lies. I have so many why questions, i cant answer/ resolve so many things. But He has a sovereign will, He is in control. From my short sighted eyes now, i cant see the answers. But hopefully in the future, i will look back, and know why God did the things He did.

And here I thought that solving the friendship would be the end of the problems!

Plus, from all the evidences and heresays/affirmations from ppl, i am certain of the problems you are struggling with now. Bad timing for both you and me! And im all the more not in a position to advise on this matter. Haiz. I ask God again. WhY?

It is further defeating at this point, to add salt to the wound.

But objectively speaking, all i can say is, ask an older person/mentor/someone you can look up to in faith for advice. Godly counsel.

It is also quite stupid to think that relationships are relative. You view some ppl as very impt to you, yet it is always never a 2 way thing, at least for me. Even in the opposite direction, where in the past i felt that other ppl wants to be good friends with me, but i didnt want/dont feel that i view them as impt thus wanna build alot into the r/s. I guess its like that. Just like i can not view others as impt, so can others feel the same way as i do. And you know what, its been a problem ive been struggling with, ever since i was a 9/10 year old.

Rather than always why God, i am again timely reminded, not why but what. What is more impt. What can mend the brokenness? What can fill the emptiness? What can save and overcome? Only the Lamb who laid down His life, who lifts us from the fall.

Mighty is He.


Mighty Is The Power Of The Cross
Christ Tomlin

What can take a dying man and raise him up to life again?
What can heal a wounded soul?
What can make us white as snow?
What can fill the emptiness?
What can mend our brokenness?
Brokenness

[Chorus:]
Mighty, awesome, wonderful
Is the holy cross
Where the Lamb laid down His life
To lift us from the fall
Mighty is the power of the cross

What restores our faith in God?
What reveals the Father's love?
What can lead the wayward home?
What can melt a heart of stone?
What can free the guilty ones
What can save and overcome?
Overcome

[Chorus]

It's a miracle to me [2x]
And It's still a mystery [2x]
It's a miracle to me
The power of God
For those who believe

Mighty, awesome, wonderful
Is the holy cross
Where the Lamb laid down His life
To lift us from the fall
Mighty is .......
Mighty is.......
Mighty is the power of the cross

Thank You for the cross [2x]
Love the cross [2x]
So Powerful...... ohhhhh yeahhh
What can take a dying man?
And raise him up to life again?

Worship You Jesus
By your wounds we are healed
By your wounds we are saved
Mighty is the power of the cross [2x]
Thank You Jesus for the Holy cross