Either its me, or i sense some awkwardness or avoidings. Haiz. I dont like it cause its irritating really. But haiya.

Really enjoyed the cat and dog theology videos today. It just puts everything back to perspective again. It defines everything ive been trying to communicate to ppl clearly, and now there's no excuse. Like Kev said before, ppl just wanting comfortable christian life, studying to give God glory, and really giving God glory in everything. I guess i was very happy that ppl may hear such good sermons and that hopefully their perspective changes. And i need not always try to tell ppl or seemingly judge ppl on these kinda things(when i cant communicate it that clearly as well). I can stop trying now. Just let them listen to the sermons man. And God will change them. But like i was telling Ben. I have to stop judging others whether they are doing it and to think myself more highly. I wa saying that well i cant fully do all those things. These sermons really exposes all my sins and i can see them very clearly. I see some things that i am glad to be affirmed in(like how i was seeing more and more that songs like Day by Day and O rejoice in the Lord is self centred songs), but there is so many things also that i fail and makes me still essentially a cat, so theres so much more i wanna improve and seek God in, just like the problems im having now. Its abt God and im just trying to see how i can give glory. Thanks to Aary also this morning where he reminded me of Job(when again he also knows nothing, just that he knows im going through a trying period with God), who suffered much more, and he definitely suffered not because he sinned, but because God wanted to test him. And i see how much i fail this test. No matter, i should at least pass the test now!

Singapore is such a self centred society where everything is abt me and it really gets to you and your forget really everything is so that it could be used for God's glory. Satan's most powerful weapon against us. Haiz.

It was never you that i was bitter, and it was never your fault. Believe me, i felt that i was unhappy with God cause of His leading, not yours, which im very clear. Dont think you're really involved in this matter please. Its me and God.

I just dont want to be bothered abt this anymore. Sinful natures. of mine.

You know i always have this nightmare where it always seem like i never actually finished my A levels, but its coming? It seems so real, like i would feel that i always thought i actually finished my A levels, but i actually didnt, like in the nightmare i would think that me finishing my A levels was nothing but a dream? So scary. A levels. Oh, and this time of the year is when promos were coming. Oh how i could remember i was so caught up with mugging for it. And also, last year while having prelims! Mad mad JC period!!!