Only From My Side: My Own Fantasy

"It was always from your side what."

Its kinda odd actually. How my struggles are self generated. I created my own fantasies. I created my own struggles. Yea i probably dont have any value to most ppl i guess. How ppl have always been looking at their level and up. I see them, but they dont see me. How i can be talking abt ppl and they never realized it for more than a year. How i created my own fantasy. How i cant get rid of the thought of someone the past year. And im not even a passing thought. It is fantasy. How i struggled with things that never existed. How i struggled with God with this. I've been happy and glad over small things that i always exchanged with all other frens and never even thought of it as something worth an extra thought. You know what? Even yesterday. Even today. God still gives me stupid answers, answers that i want. Im like, so what if you tell me these answers?

I dont wanna believe in this stupid fantasy anymore. Its not even a thought to others. Its not even part of a consideration. i-am-not-even-worth-a-thought-on-others-minds. Period.

I guess everyone is self centred. Including me. Well,everyone is only bothered abt their own problems. It is just not a concern to others how they are part of a problem of another. I guess its so human to be only be bothered abt our own problems. To be happy to tell ppl your problems, and not be concerned abt others.

How ironic ppl can have a similar problem, like a on b and b on c. Haha. And b ignoring a's. But concerned abt c. Lol. Ironies of life.

I just dont want to believe God anymore
On this issue of course.

I am craving of the highly sociable life. Seeing facebook just makes me feel too ordinary and not me- i need the high life, and i need to find it. Photos that makes me wanna be part of. Good looks and "act cute" shots that i wanna be doing.

High Life and photos!

Oo. I am thinking of how i can get to these highly sociable settings. WHee~ Already some are in my mind that i can start attending.

Vanity- i am largely part of it, just like everyone else is part of, just that they're lying to themselves that they're not. Photos are proof. Admit it!

Its time to embark on "enjoyable activities".