Clicks- In the Wrong One

I totally hate it that i am i dislike the click that i am in. I guess i always had high expectations for closer friends. The click that i am in, in the past, i guess we always have the same things in common. The things to do together everything we hang out, chilling and stuff. Most importantly, all of us had the same hunger for God. Talk about spirituals issues occasionally, sharing things that help each other in our walks. Just dont like it that when some left and new ones sorta came in eventually, the click sorta changed. Many a times we waste time(in my opinion) doing nonsense stuff. Being childish, and just being the "play" mates i used to term certain friends- friends that dont think at the same level, dont share your life and stuff. You know that kinda friend that you're really not close- if you're not around, it doesnt really bother them, if something happened to your life, it doesnt really bother them. Ppl who hang out together now but in the future and when we all have diff commitments, we'll stop talking that kind. I'm not talking abt all of em, just half of em.

Its kinda tough mixing with ppl you dont really enjoy doing so, especially being a social freak like me, who seeks comfort in close friends. I guess sociable or not, everyone has a close click of friends- ones whom companionship they really enjoy. I dont have one now. In the past in church, i did. When i was in YFC, i did. But all these while in church, since the past, it just never existed anymore. And it doesnt help that i'm at a place where i wont know new ppl anymore.

Its so depressing to not have certain needs like these met. :((

And i totally give up trying to serve when they dont wanna use me. Been asking for it for such a long time, probably almost a month and yet no response. I dont know whether its not my fault in making myself useful, but i know i've been wasting one month month times don't know how many hours everyday being a stayout waiting for a chance to serve. If the leader does not give you the opportunity how can you take things into your own hands? And so be it. I'll find OTHER things to make full use of my time, as i am accountable for it.