My interests or His interests?

My interests or His interests?

You know. I'm at that crossroads where big decisions cross me. I cant say i cannot decide anymore. Not for too log more at least. I need to make decisions very soon. The sooner, the better. Thats where i can focus all energy to do something to the best of my ability.

You know what? Even though Fri's message on Go forth conference was deemed bad but a few ppl, all it takes is for God to use the Holy Spirit to convict you on 1 thing that is you never really thought of, and there you have it, a fruitful time. Mine was this. It just happened that night, there was a video shown. There was this youth who said this: Do what you can for God with the best of your ability. Sounds normal? Let me rephrase this sentence into the thought that striked me.

"Make full use of your best ability, and do it to the best of your ability"

However, dont take my thought too literally. God gave the Holy Spirit to convict each in His own way. For me, i needed to do this. Not burying talents and wasting time doing everything, and end up doing nothing. The parable of the talents just show how much we must make full use of our talents for His kingdom. Notice its "for His kingdom"!!!

Next qn i thought to myself is, how to make full use of your talents for His kingdom? Surely im in a judgemental mood and all this comes from a sinful judgemental heart. But sometimes it just causes you to reflect on yourself so much. I shall use only my eg.

You know i always believe that i'm a good singer, at least in a choir context. You know how much i see it now that seeking to improve becomes part of pride for me? Sometimes in pursuit of using my talents to the best of my abilities, i forget whether i am trying to do it for the glory of God, than for perfection/improvement itself. My teachers/conductors/instructors always push us to improve.The problem is, they are seeking perfection only, but that should not be our only agenda. Its to glorify God. How do i know that i'm doing it? A clear indicator, the 1st reaction after a concert/performance. Was it thanking God 1st? This shows whether its glorify God 1st in our agenda, or something else.

Put yourself in my shoes, replace me with yourself, and change the details like choir or concerts into yourself, like soccer and soccer matches. And think abt it.

1 last qn. And how then am I to glorify God then? I'll struggling to reconcile these 2 even now. But i have a thought. The thought goes like this. If anything that i do, which cause me to do less of God's work, will probably not glorify God the way He wants it to. Eg, skip bible study class(often), don't do qt, pray less, neglect other responsibilities etc. Can you say God i'm too busy today sorry i cant spend time with ya today? Is that right?

Kenn said something that kinda made me ashamed of myself a week or 2 ago. He said: Do you go to work for work? Or work for pleasing God? Do you study hard for studies, or study for pleasing God? It happens when we are caught up with work, and don't even realize how often we forget God during those times, and just put God out of the picture. Why this is impt- focus is not on work, but on God. Pleasing God is like the goal. Doing work well should be the secondary goal. If we claim so, how come we always forget the primary, and always do the secondary? I know why we forget. Its just that it shouldnt be the case.

Speaking of which, i now understand why people like Paul dedicate their lives to doing Christ's work as his job. Its quite simple. He just wants to obey God's commandments all the time. But anyway, wherever we are, it is our missions field. Its just whether we TREAT IT LIKE A MISSION FIELD. Thats the most impt. Thats where you reconcile glorifying God with doing any "worldly things".

I guess the spiritual walk is more that QT and praying. It is the great commission too. Sorry it is that plus, your whole life! 24hrs 7days a week of it. That is our spiritual walk. I guess i should start reflecting on whether today was a good walk, not only by QT,(praying should be a constant throughtout the day) but plus the day too, like how much i've sinned and how much God is in my mind the past day/week.

Anyway all these are thoughts that are highly debatable, they are not yet fully convictions for me too. Sorry i drifted too much. My conviction for myself is simply what i stated earlier.

"Make full use of your best ability, and do it to the best of your ability"