The "Bedazzle" post. :-p

Sometimes i bedazzle even myself. Im surprised how i become a fan of DBSK. I just bought a poster(i only have 1 poster of slamdunk at home btw) and 2 keychains. Lol. The thing that bedazzles me is that i somehow used to dislike fans, and i sortof became 1 myself. I used to as i dont like fans for certain reasons i dont remember why, and nowadays i still feel that way. I just suddenly felt weird just now seeing some things, to the point that i wish to talk about it here. I have a few theories on the reason behind it, but my point is, i think i dislike fans or being a fan and i maybe i subconsciously still do, but i dont remember why. I suddenly felt a bout(dont mind me i dont know what word to use) of unhappiness just now, with certain thoughts coming to my mind, and i was, why do i feel this way? Lol.

Anyway i felt very happy after buying the stuffs. Haha. Retail therapy. Havent bought stuff for some time. Though 1 of the keychains i have no use of. Hmm. What should i do with it? :-p

Oh ya, the reason i wanted to post was more of something that happened yesterday. I know its another feeling again, but these 2 are really bedazzling feelings that i want to let out. Yesterday morning, that feeling was more bedazzling, and that feeling actually enlightened me that i might have an ulterior motive in wanting something to happen. Again, cause its big enough as i felt my feelings crashing, like the suddenly feeling of sianness. The ulterior motive, behind why i felt that way, is why im writing here and am worried about. Those feelings went away after 5 min. I'M NOT WEAK OK? :-p Anyway,im just concerned of the reasons behind these feelings. Sorry i'm ambiguous on the things that really happened. I guess im not comfortable saying it here. Cause they are really private. I do have really private moments i dont really wish to share ok? :-p Especially since they involve my weaknesses i guess. But yea i got to let it though somehow thats why im here ranting. OK. I'm going to pray about it. Ja Na~ =)