Its A Lie

Life is a lie. Its all a lie. Everything is a pretense. Everyone is pretending. Dreams are lies. And i cant stand dreaming them. Its those things where you keep die trying not to think of, and you live it in your dreams. Being in church often entails pretense- pretending who you aren't. Pretending you just want to talk to certain few ppl instead of everyone else. Pretending you are fine talking to certain ppl when they are pretending they are fine talking to you.

Actually i dont even know what im talking abt, cause im trying to be so vague.

All i know is, life is a lie. And i dont want to live this life.

Struggling to find sufficiency in christ. Cause i feel that im leaving everyday like there's no meaning in everyday. Its just mundane. Nothin to look forward to. And i dont enjoy doing anything anymore. It all seems boring.

EVERYTHING dissapoints.

Theres no joy in me anymore.
At breaking point.