The Answer i have found peace with

On a side note, it is so so scary to read something written by someone else but thinking that it feels like you wrote it yourself! It's like, this cannot be. The whole train of thought, all the question marks and the pondering qns, it just feels so so scary. It feels like it was a thinking process in my mind! Maybe i should tell someone abt it. Not that i could have any conclusion on the similarities.

I had a long discussion with my mum. Went so far till it became a debate. It started from her sharings of an unwillingess to accept a doctrinal belief in my church, ending with my conclusion of her having flaws that make her look at things through a stained glass defined by stubborness and judgementalness. Then it became a debate against each others flaws. But finally it came to my main point of this post- my career path.

May this be my prayer.

To cut a long story short:

You know, i always was seeking an answer to my career path. I would ponder on what career God wants me to do. Then "that job" would come to mind, and i am certain that God wants me to do it at some point of my life, ut maybe not yet. I'm quite certain that i would do that career, but maybe not now. Then, i would chuck that thought aside and think abt other career options. But it was always a blur. I asked God a number of times, and never got an answer. Then while talking to mum just now, i realised. Maybe i've been chucking this career path aside when i shouldnt have. Maybe i should be working towards this career path, rather that chucking it aside for so long and seeking another answer which never came. And i thought, maybe there isnt another answer? Maybe what ive been thinking of doing all this while is really what He wants me to do? Maybe i should be working towards that goal, instead of thinking of it as a 2nd career option? Then i realised suddenly that, it all seems right now. I feel at peace. It suddenly seemed like, i have already made that decision, and it is the right decision.

Ah sorry cant continue. Starting to fall asleep. But i'm abt done. Maybe "that job", is the answer ive been searching from God after all.

Yuan Zai tian bian, jing zai yan qian?

Shld pray more rather then to continue. Somehow, i feel like blogging alot lately. Been thinking alot recently i guess.