Relationships

Seeing them, really makes me think, are those qualities something i really want? Well i guess its heart over mind i guess.

Events the past few days makes it obvious and clear again how ppl are so impt to me. Ppl dont just walk pass me, but they all leave their footprints in my heart. Everyone that i have close interactions with, forms an emotional bond that i will never forget. Everytime i think of these ppl, i would feel a certain emotion that is overwhelming; similar to all but unique in a certain way, especially for thos close relatinships that i have lost. And thats what makes me emotional, and sentimental.

Having a few good friends who are attached doesnt mean i cannot be happy seeing them after some time. You know i just enjoy the time we(applies to all the other good friends also) could spend together talking about personal things, and after awhile, even doing things together. This is what you call enjoyable company. I feel like spending some time doing things together but i guess time and lack of opportunity makes such opportunities few and far between.

I have another close friend that i have lost that i really feel so sad losing. Talking after sometime just reminds me how much i enjoyed the close chatter, but now all thats left is the scar of a lost relationship. We still see each other, but i guess the close relationship will never be the same again huh?

Well Thats 1 of many. I am abt to lose kevin if i dont keep up with him. I have just lost jx since end of jc. Lost seng kiang, leon, joel and aidross from sec sch. Sk and leon, i dont even know what is happening to them,b ut glad to see aidross looking up me to chatter again(and finding his life in a mess in a certain way)

Well the event that triggered these thoughts was during the farewell lunch for mdm from "the force". You know i was so sad for her that when we had that lunch, when 1 of the leaders asked us to say something nice that she has impacted us. Everyone could barely utter a word. Some of them could only muster well wishes for her, and it was kinda forced even. But its a totally different story for me. I have mixed feelings abt her leaving. Well she isnt the nicest mdm arnd. She as so many flaws that she dont see, that everyone dislikes her for. She is the no1 disliked in office. But you know what, i cant help but want to say, i might miss her. I once wrote here abt how she protected me, and that is what she really did to me. She was concerned in many occasions(even though she just maybe checking on me). But im so thankful to God for her. She really feels like my grandma, full of nag, fully iritating, but you still love her, and maybe even for her case. I guess cause she may not be very nice, but she tells you abt her personal life alot more than others would. You someho feel part of their life too. You know i felt so compelled to confomr with everyone else to not say nice things to her, but i cant. Then again, i cant express my gratitude to her guidance well. Even after that, there was little talking. We werent really that close, really. But sometimes i couldnt understand, why ppl just couldnt see the good side of her and be thankful?

Mmmm. its good, in a way, to feel emotional again, for good reasons. XD But for all the lost r/s, i hope not to feel them again. Its time to put them to bed and move on.