His

I wonder how today will unfold. Being in "the force" for the 1st time during weekends and all and missing out on tg rock climbing. Well i've been pampered too much.

Was taught a good lesson today on my lack of time management. Hmm, i just realised how forgiving some ppl have been to me for my lateness. I guess I really want to start being early for things now.

Passion vs Winning.

I guess its difficult to draw the line between the two. I struggle with enjoying my bball and the fact that im so lousy and cant win games. If you cant win, its just also difficult to enjoy it. I guess I want to seek excellence in it. And if only i could jump higher, hang longer, do a few spin moves against my opponents. Wah what fun that would be. You know, growing up, i also didnt join sports cause i thought i wouldnt excel in it even though i loved it. It didnt make sense to join and be lousy. You though accolades means more. But i realised, what drives sportsman is the passion! The love for the game/your sports. The love that drives you to train week in week out, to improve your game. It goes beyond all logical sense to consider achievement. You strive to achieve, thats true. But for sports, how many achieve greatness? Yet how many plays the sports for teams, spending so much time in it? Surely its passion that drives you. And im learning to embrace my passion. DOing what i love to do, even though im old now and started a little late. Wouldnt say i have youth up my hands, but ill play, ill strive to improve. Cause I LOVE THE GAME!!! (p.s. the game is a term to describe the game of basketball)

Not that im not starting to pick up and love frisbee too. I have a competition this coming fri!Woots!

Cya at the court baby!

But im very sad of 1 thing, i'll never be the man of faith i want myself to be. I wanted to be the best i can for God, being close to Him and studying His word and all. But i realised it has always been just a dream. I realised how stupid it is to commit the same mistake more than 777 times and yet still be able to come to the Lord with the same words and asking for forgiveness. I realised what a failure i am always thinking that i need to pray i need to do QT i need to spend time with the Lord everyday. Yet everyday i fail to do so. Its always in my mind, but i always fail. Do you realise how STUPID THAT IS? Yet of course i guess i should never stop trying. i just need to TRY ALOT HARDER! I need to have a greater desire to seek the change. I guess i shouldnt want to be the man of faith i want myself to be.

I want to be His, the way He wants me to be!