Well. Christmas was really great this year. Love the fact of hearing refreshing ensembles, small groups and me myself playing my trombone for the 1st time in 2 and a half years. Well, christmas eve was really enjoyable too. At least its a refreshing like i feel i really enjoyed it unlike the past month where ive been trying to have too much fun till nothing seems really fun or worthy of note. The week before was a big struggle with problems in my head. I shant say what why but its due to relationships and it was really a pain and it was really bad. Anyway, ive solved some and have learnt to ignore some. Actually, i just dont care anymore about some relational issues that i dont like with people. I guess i just look forward to the next 3 months making new ones when the old ones are breaking. Its always like that. Everytime i move on to another stage in life relationships end there and i dont carry them over. Well, this year i have an additional church ones to worry about too. Well, trying to guess what goes through people's mind really kills me. Kevin is right to not to think of any if's and why questions in my head. I guess i think/worry/read too much into so many things. That kills me i guess.

Been lazy to write cards this year due to overkill last year. Well, not been receiving too much this year. Been rather simple things from people. Nevertheless, thanks to those who did. Though i would say, giving presents are alot more ex seriously. Gah. In a sense im a little dissapointed, but im happy that people appreciate my rather simple presents i guess.

I guess this holiday, i would say i wished i had spent some time not being so busy and going out so often. Not that i think i needed time for myself. I never believed in that. I guess i needed time with God. I should have spent time with Him way more seriously cause i havent been. However, the thing that snapped me out of my worries last week was just by imagining of doing something a little crazy- going around sg to take photos which seem memorable to me. Oh well, i guess i really might not have the time to do that this year. Not to mention the next few months to come. But i wish i really can do so. Is that time with myself? Haha. I just wished i really spent time with God seriously.

Hmm. I think ive been too self imposing lately. I think i am doing stuff that people more and more are starting to dislike too. Well, i cant expect to impose my life philosophies to others and expect them to agree. I got struck by someone actually on doing your best in whtever your talent lies. Adrian has always said this. But well i guess someone else used studies as one and im like yea thats true. And about mine? Hmm, makes me think about my talents and i guess my career path seems to get clearer and clearer each day.

I guess its the way i am that im going to be troubled by this thing this whole year and i guess it will happen for time to come, at least i think i will for some time and i wonder whether i can really let go of this. Well, by God's grace, hopefully i will not cling onto this anymore.

Im going malaysia tmr morning. Not really looking forward to it but oh well its a holiday and i have not really gone for one for like 3 years.

Sch is starting for people. "Work" is going to start soon for me too. Oh well, im kinda looking forward to it, but well, i'll probably will still miss the holiday season seriously. Haha. Where everyone would be around and all.

My biggest wish for the next year? A growing yf, not only in numbers, but in faith and closeness.

I love this song, i virtually have been singing this song a thousand times throughout the past few days. Enjoy.

I Celebrate the Day By Relient K
Sang by For Christ's Sake in acapella

With this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let you know
How much you've touched my life because
Here is where you're finding me
In the exact same place as New Years Eve
And from the lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I wanna be

And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever
And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare
The things I've felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That you have come to meet me here

To look back
And think that
This baby would one day save me
And the hope that
That you give
That you were born so I might really live
To look back
And think that
This baby would one day save me...

And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever
And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever

And I
I celebrate the day
That you were born to die
So I could one day
Pray for you to save my life
Pray for you to save my life
Pray for you to save my life