I have decided- to change my mind.

Avoiding is good i guess. I decided not to go, cause ive decided not to come too. No matter how i tell people, maybe they might not understand it like i do. To many more, they will think its a wrong decision. I dont know. I think at my point in time, i think i've justified my reasons well enough. Then again, this avoiding step might be only 1, but however, there might be many more. I guess i cant see things in the same light anymore. My decisions are barely linked with the word "God" anymore. Maybe my decision is also so that i can avoid the problem of my faith too. Well, at least, my mother agrees with me. My mother always tells me to do so similarly, but i always brushes it aside. Maybe now, i see it in the same light as she does.

Avoiding to even bring it up.

What they see as funny, could hardly bring a smile to me anymore. What is a joke just seem so hypocritical to me. If you can say that, then why do that? Its not funny to say that. I dont know. I dont like what i SEE and HEAR today.

My absence frm blogging doesnt reflect the amount of time i study. i just found interest in other things and spent the whole week wasting time on it.

I have become a coach potato seriously. My heart is seriously "fat". It hurts quite badly even when im not running fast. Ran once yesterday for like 2-3 months of no exercise. I have dropped from little fitness to zero fitness. Hate it. Getting out of zero fitness is always going to be very tough from getting outta little fitness.

I think my decision is made up already.

But i guess God never allows it when things do not go the way he will want it. Praise the Lord. Ive changed my mind. Not that its only cause someone to talk. Before that, God has already worked in my mind, and it started changing. The call only added strength to the whispering of Him. Plus sitting down and thinking abt it, i came to much realization. Once again, praise the lord, and i thank God, that hopefully some things has changed. This verse came to mind, even when i watched a show, and it talked abt selflessness. And i came to realization, of many other things too, which i truly, wanna thank God abt. =)

Luke 22:42b nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.

And i will say: Amen- Let it be done.

1 more week!!!

Wake me up when A lvl(september) ends.