Wow post 300.
In case some ppl dont know. My faith's been real bad. Its not a sudden feeling depressed thing. Its been continuing for quite some time. It just piles up and gets worse and worse. For a starter ive not been doing qt since august. On and off like maybe once a week have, but thats abt it. I tend not to think the way i used to think anymore = higher frequency of sinning. Plus this chain reaction coupled with a lack of discipline to study, all causes an emotional breakdown. Not that i like it or want it, but i cant decide what to do at the right time anymore. Even if i do, i cant concentrate, and i'll just end up walking away. I fell that emotionally, i cant pull myself together. I believe it has largely to do with a lack of faith too, due to constant sinning that i cant bring myself to forgive myself for the whole day and wastes off the whole day. Exams start on tues? It feels like just any exam in jc- im prepared, prepared to flunk that is. Im totally not ready for it.
Its a whole life thing. Relationships, family and friends, i wont say its in rocks you know. But i tend to argue so much with family more maybe cause im at home more, and friends well, lets not go there. No my sins didnt start or end with just quarelling. Theres more in between, or rather at both ends. The next step towards this lack of faith is not coming to church. I tell you. For more than 2 years, i have never contemplated not coming to church except due to fatigue, not even sickness. Now week after week im thinking of not coming. If this continues, i think its a matter of fact, sooner or later.
Basically to sum up:
Sinful = lack of faith
lack of discipline = more worries and wont do well for studies
All plus together = messed up emotionally
You may say, aiya now exam period then like that.
I wish it is so, really.
posted by nick at
10/28/2007 05:43:00 pm
1 Comments:
hey bro! hmmz.. sounds like you're going through a hard time. But keep in mind what David said: " Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.(psalms 23:4)" As we ( not just you :P ) walk through this valley of shadow of death, it's a valley. So naturally, you'll feel sad and stuffs. But keep on to God. Sometimes, it really isn't about moving up and up and up. But at times, it is also about just holding on to God. Too often, when met with a difficulty, I tend to shudder because when i look at things, they just don't seems to go right. But just hold on. Even if tomorrow you are going to backslide or whatsoever, just hold on. 4 more weeks. When that 4 weeks is up, God will definitely give you rest, just like he gives us rest. But always remember, the devil's devices are many. One of his weapons: Guilt. God din come to condemn us, but to cleanse us and give us the forgiveness of sins. So take heed, that if anytime you suddenly feel bad about not going to church, just rebuke that evil thought within you. And then, pray! :D Yeap, while you're still struggling with your life's issues, I also got A*d**y ( confidentiality ) to worry about, but i shall not let it wear me down! Similar to you!! :D
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