tmr is where everything might reveal or start... /a wedding reflections

tmr is when i start to get back my results.. haha.. im very afraid and dun want it to come.. but i guess God wants me to move on and nt stop and live in this time of uncertainty.. juz hope nothin bad happens and i dun breakdown or something like tt... haha.. adrian and keewen were telling me "dun kill urself".. haha... im worried.. but its nt end of e world lor.. i wld miss em all like crazy.. but no lah wun do anything stupid.. God will make a way... if i kill myself i noe it has big implications and might even affect my salvation so no way.. haha...

try to make tis quick.. i wanna give rui a call...

erm tok to jean yest.. quite surprised she actually told me some stuff although i might noe some stuff and abit abt what happenned... its nice to hear someone tell u their secrets.. its gd and happy to hear tt she noes how to make better decisions... happy for her cause someone like her hav aplenty of choice and its gd she cld learn how to choose.. =)


sortof pei cheryl today after comm meeting and all while she waits for her sis.. haha.. chatted again.. although i didnt like e topics cos shes so erm study and dance only.. or nt books haha.. all not my topics.. but its still great to chat.. =)

oh.. i wana realli put an end to it.. make sure theres no misunderstanding and all.. its bothering me to e point tt i whole day only think abt it.. haiz.. only 1 thought fills my mind which is so bad lah..

oh.. ill do my reflections after attending a wedding either later ot tmr.. got quite a few thoughts wanna write down.. ^^

nvm ill do it now cos ruis taking a bath.. hmm.. lets see..

oh crap i dun remember.. grr.. lets see what i can remember..

a relationship shld be started only if u might wanna get married with e person...

aarrggh.. what else...

actually i juz hantam lah...

its hard to love someone wholeheartedly... if there are certain barriers to it.. like different beliefs.. like i often think.. what happens when we argue.. what is going to stop us frm argueing if we dun hav e same beliefs.. how do we put a stop to it.. i dun believe feelings guide everything.. love is nt purelt abt feelings.. a classic eg is like when i watched a serial one of e actors immediatelly liked someone else cos no more "feel"... tts dum.. cos if u really like someone its nt only abt feelings.. there something else to it too.. its nt passion.. its commitment.. like e wedding vows go.. thru sickness, poor, disabilities.. its a commitment tt u wanna stick with someone thru life and death... and even thru eternity.. all tis cld nt happen if u cannot spend eternity with someone.. cos they might nt live in eternity with u in e same place.. how to be like we are 1 if even these things we cant be e same.. hard..

but i kinda like e part.. tt e wedding couple are very diff.. but yet they complement each other.. i wld be real close with all e high i's i noe.. but my trend is .. dunno why high d or c seem to be e death of me... haha... it feels weird.. but well.. i guess its call complementing one another.. what i lack.. e other has.. and vice versa...

i really want to end tis..

hey.. gtg le rui's done.. till another time...

haha.. and i have to ren... until...