question marks everywhere...

maybe im juz being an idiot...

idiot.. such a casual yet strong word to use which made my mother really unhappy abt me when i said tt of her... shall never use tis word again.. not even to my frens which i casually do... deemed as vulgar(by me)...

u noe how a fine line isit btw sian and siao.. a moment i was sian till depressing.. den a moment later i was siao ding dong... lolz... but actually i juz tried to and i became so but inwardly it is still pricking...

can someone pls tell me whats going on???(question mark no 1)

today open hse was a waste of time... i constantly cld nt find jx today.. so generally stuck with vonne low whenver i was free or sian.. hehe.. cos shes always there at e bowling booth doing nothin so cld always go there... haha.. like safe hse like tt... haha.. dunno why.. it juz feels comfortable being arnd vonne... now tt i tink of it... shes a fren who makes ppl feel comfortable being arnd her.. hehe.. den sometimes stuck with e girls cos e guys like jx always dissappear.. jungang and al always together and i juz dun feel comfortable.. i tink other den jx shes a fren i wld find e most comfortable being arnd although we dun really share much personal stuff..

u noe.. i really wld like to do e mass dances.. but i dun remember plus no guys to go and "feng" with feels weird.. e girls want to dance they go lor.. at tt kind of situation maybe being arnd al or even jx might be gd to help make me wanna go and dance.. regret nt remembering e dances.. sian cant find non of e frens to stick with feels very weird.. always feel aimless... tts why i say e bowling booth is safe hse.. lol...

feel weird in choir cos e only fren im very comfortable with is kah wee and hl but hl is a girl and kw keeps diassapearing to his frens.... e rest is abit dunno dun feel so close.. so cant find ppl to stick too..

u noe subconsciously.. me and jx are forming our own click... i juz realised tt jx is another rui.. we juz tink along e same wavelength tt we can easily understand what each other is saying without completing our sentences until other ppl dun understand but i was like huh why dun understand.. haha... we were daying how we can be affected.. no I.. bout e feelings of ppl arnd... haha.. we can easily noe how ppl is feeling which affects us alot.. e prob with me is also i dun watch what i say very well... so it ends up hurting me more...but i noe basic stuff.. how to differentiate frm a high ppl to high task... Generally(tis is a general statement i realized) for eg, when task ppl want things done.. they'll use i want u all to tis tis tis... which i find not very nice.. e high D trait... it shld be i think u all shldnt blah blah blah.. tts more like it.. haha.. jx could immediately give me an answer for my next question.. on what kinda response i prefer as a ppl person when complaining.. e key is a positive response.. u noe toking to hl feels like in e past talking to yong jie and telling him some stuff.. he wld go like oh i see.. kinda thing.. but haha ppl like me juz want a positive response.. so it feels like im wasting time toking to these ppl..

oh jx was telling me tt he learned something which i am struggling with is tt i cannot come to terms with ppl being direct or giving me task ppls responses.. i juz find it a struggle cos it easily makes me feel like ee and pek chek which he learned tt we have to take it on our stride and ignore it.. which i cant.. oh well.. gotta learn tis.. tts why i easily got irritated by some of these kinda frens.. gotta learn to handle tis... tts why he is a high csi rather than a high i or s...

really felt weird today...

me and jx so happen were saying tt abt hl, maybe subconsciously.. feel uncomfortable being at our table and wanna move away to freds table juz now at macs.. haha.. its juz our observations.. which brings me to my next pt.. me and jx are too prone to conclusions.. which is a bad thing...
we were saying we both are tooo... often making 1st impressions and all... but well.. tts why were so close.. cos we think along e same line..


i keep forgetting... but maybe also becos i wanna forget.. or wait.. is it e other way arnd.. where i couldnt let go when i shld.. eh what am i toking..

dun wan next week to come... dun wan..

shld i become ogl? could i even in e 1st place? shld i try? wld love to but...


e diff btw a task ppls blog and a ppl erson;s bog.. e for mer writes what happenned.. e latter writes thoughts of e day... tts for my observatins..


wah lao blog like siao again.. hehe.. i think i no privacy liao almost all my thoughts are here.. haha..

oo.. time to start toking abt God again..
:-P

but.. nxt week might be to tell me tt it all ends here.. and i gotta leave all of em.. and jx...

stop bothering me abt these things mind.. grr.. feeling down like nobodies business..