End of A lvl's/ My views, My thoughts

Now how to end this. I've more or less decided how to, its just whether ppl'a advice permits me to.

Its the end. So what? I dont feel a tinge of even relieve. I guess its cause i have added a heavier burden on top of even A's that even though it ended, i dont feel relieved of my burdens at all. That being said, i guess i will feel happier and keep my mind occupied from it till i get a solution tonight!

Sometimes i wonder what goes through ppl's mind. If they want to lead you in 1 direction, why lead you back? Though now, im not convinced anymore.

Its going to be tough. I dont feel like dealing with it once the time comes closer, even though when im suffering from all of it, i want to do contrarily. But i know, i have to face the music someday. This should not continue, and thus it has to end.

This week.

Despite nonsensical writings in the last post, it isnt that bad, cause im always prepared for this. I always told Him i would be prepared, and i told Him, that i'll always only follow His will. Its hard not to feels sad if its true.

Is just the label "christian" ever good enough. Someone from church asked me before regarding this issue. I still believe im not wrong. We happen to talk abt these matters, i guess she was just questioning friends or maybe even potential partners. The criteria is not christian but a God centered life. At least the evidence of faith. God centeredness is to me, just the basic. Though its a tough criteria to find, because it varies due to ppl's definition of God centeredness relative to their own. If ppl even put God centeredness as a criteria rather than just a christian, they would only believe they are strong in faith or God centred relative to themeselves. But sometimes its not enough. My parents are the greatest example. Maybe because i believe so, as my Dad is a backslided christian if he is one in the 1st place. The results? You'll know it if you know me well enough.

What's your criteria? Certainly the world will say character(which obviously our criterias of looks and all the other criterias due to the pleasures of the worlds is wrong totally to God), even character to God is only important if they are the fruits of the spirit. Preference to personality is seriously due to our shortcomings which aint biblical at all. I guess all of us, being human, always have unspoken criteria's that aint Godly, me included. Even my friend told me, which guy would think of a relationship as a glorification to God, or think of it as 1 of his main motives? "Its so weird" as she would say, but after the discussion i still cant make her realize, it is indeed, a motive he should have. Like yuan argued with me the other day, every action that is not for the glorification of God is SIN!!! Even love. What is love? Dont ask me. I dont know neither.

All i know that im keeping hold to, the 3 criterias that i read from a book. Love is self sacrificing. Another verse says love is patient, love is kind... And last but most importantly, Love is obeying the commandments of our God. I feel that if this tingly feeling of love coincides with these 3 things(i think theres more), i think we can qualify that feeling as love God wants us to have, and we'll receive blessing from our God.

At least i think i do have.