Back And Feeling Better/The person who encouraged me even without even knowing how he looks like

Ee. Not supposed to hav time to blog but i hate to hav tis thoughts in my mind and den muz say later. Alamak.

I guess William is probably e only person which i dun noe, but encouraged me tt much. really so much tt it took me out of my slump like tt, consider things i have to give tks for, and learn to do my utmost best for Him. Well, tis wake up call i guess rather than to say is frm him, i wld say itd frm Him. Maybe it is nt only him but also my realization i mentioned on my last post and also e thngs tt have happened e last weekend. I tink i juz realli say tk God. Tis week is a changed week for me. Though i still am quite slack. Failed a very easy test by half mark which i was like -.-, but i am happy, tt i am feeling way way WAY better now. These sequence of events made me a changed person. or at least back to normal. Hopefully.

Tt day, i was really encouraged by e sharings. All of em. Kenneth's one hit me as one of e strongest too. U noe, when one of e person cld nt hold back his emotions when he went up to speak, unable to speak properly. I was thinking, and cld imagine myself, being worse than him. Breaking down way heavier than he is, and walk away, maybe come back later. LOL.

I wanted to catch a glimpse of how tis great guy who encouraged me so much on tt nite, even when he has gone. Tts why i went to see him. Maybe for e 1st. But definitely e last, until i leave tis place. =)

But u noe. I thought to myself, when sitting there during e wake, tt i was can say almost as emotional as any of em in e audience, but i juz kept telling myself, if i cld nt even hold back e grief, when i dun even realli noe him, how cld others who noe him better feel?? i thought: cannot be sad, rather, try to smile, encourage those who might be feeling sad. Though i dun tink i encouraged anybody, im glad i thought so.

U noe. Knowing tt ppl are sad, i felt super encouraged so tt i can encourage others. I tink i can safely say tt, i cant encourage myself when im down. Ppl can encourage me, but e effect might not always be very gd. But u noe what are e best way which picks me rite back up again?? Its when ppl are down tt i wld want to pick myself up to encourage em. Quite stupid of myself i wld say. But i juz cant help but realli feel for ppl.

U noe. Sometime i feel tt its gd tt ppl show tt their down. But sometimes i hate it tt some ppl appear strong. When they actually can be bleeding or crumbling inside. I hav 2 frens, frm 2 diff settings, with very diff character, but yet common in e way i see it. They sometimes seem strong, but sometimes i cant help but feel tt, they actually arent, and is bleeding inside. Harder to tackle tis kinda ppl. Cos they dun wanna show it. These 2 of my frens, i feel very strongly tt i wanna help em. I dunno. Maybe cos i felt tt i wanna be close to em when i actually arent? But i guess cos they close up to telling me their problems too and knowing tt they actaully need help tt i feel like helping em. They are 2 frens i really wanna help. but i really dunno how to.

I dun noe whether its gd for me to tink like i hav as i mentioned in all tt i hav said. But i juz feel tt, sometimes i wanna help as much as i cld, even though im nt very able to.

U noe, i see some common things in me and william too. I dun noe how long i hav in my life too. TTs why nw im telling myself. Treat everyday, alomz juz as if its ur last few days. MAinly juz do my best and be thankful.

Srry my post abt messy. Things here and there. As u can see. Im trying to type fast while trying to remove e habit of typing dot dot dots. Very hard den my whole post like cannot flow well leh. Feels weird to me. Nvm enuf. Maybe i can add somemore thoughts another time.

Just hope tt u all out there will pray for their family esp Elaine( e wife of e deceased) during this tough time for em(i am guilty of nt doing so). U noe i actually feel tt i can relate to em abit, although my father did nt pass away, but he dun seem to exist anymore anyway. U noe, i start feeling tt i wanna help Esther(e daughter) and e other child along as they grow up cos i noe its gonna be hard for em. Haha. But its hard to say now lah so.

Yes. I hope i can safely say tis, tt IM BACK!!! and hopefully its here to stay. To all who encouraged me during tis time, by tagging or by talking to me, i juz wanna say a big THANK YOU!!!

reply to tags: Aug: Surprised u read my blog. Woah!! all e ppl i dun expect to read all read my blog. Wonder how many more. haha. Tks for ur encouragements. It helped me quite abit. =)